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flimsythrowaway234

Member
Jun 5, 2025
15
Looking back on my own life, it seems to simply get worse as I grow older. The stressors and responsibilities keep coming, my social life crumbles and finally even my body starts failing me. Kindergarten is all about playing and having fun, school is dull but at least there's friends, work is psychological lingchi to pay the bills and keep the job.

This can be generalised: pretty much everybody is happiest as a child or teenager and then gets progressively more and more depressed as the cold reality of being an adult breaks their spirit. Pensioners are sometimes happy and an exception to the slope, but us young-ish people have no chance of ever getting to retire, methinks.

I've kept living out of a naive hope for the random moments of happiness an adult might be able to snatch (a quick vacation, e.g.) but with both my current financial outlook and my country's political situation it seems like I'd have to skip the vacations and save up all I can to even survive the coming however long. Escapism isn't hitting the same anymore anyway.

Why does almost everybody keep fighting only to see Mondays that keep getting heavier and heavier? Are friends/partners really that good, is it the false hope for a retirement of pure hedonism, or just fear of death? I really don't understand.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,898
I think it's pretty dependent on circumstances. My life has been more of a rollercoaster. My childhood started out tragically, when my Mum died. Stabalized a little with my Grandparents raising me but, took an absolute nose dive when my Dad remarried. Ages 10-18 were the very worst of my life- to date. After that, my 30's were better than my 20's because it took me a while to get into the career I wanted. So, I think it's very dependent on circumstances.

But sure, I can't see old age being an improvement for me. I suspect things will be downhill from now on. Part of it is because I have less fight now though. My 20's weren't good at all but I eventually decided to return to uni to try and steer my life in a better direction. So- some of it is how much effort we have left/ are willing to put into changing a life we don't like. I don't have that same motivation now. The goals aren't even appealing enough to strive for.
 
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LackOfDetermination

LackOfDetermination

Nothing Without Determination.
Sep 2, 2025
14
I heard a lot of people say that due to some law of averages or whatever that life will have it's ups and downs but generally average out, but I honestly think that's BS that doesn't apply to everyone. If such a law of averages had any weight, that also means there are people that have entirely joyful lives and those who have entirely terrible lives, and others that have extremely average lives, which makes a lot more sense.
Personally though, I believe in entropy. everything gradually erodes into nothing, because that is just the way our universe works. Entropy is the most inescapable physical law of the universe, and one that we constantly witness the effects of when observing the universe. It also doesn't help that every institution, club, school, company, person, and relationship I've been a part of or observed from afar has eroded over time, becoming husks and zombies pumped for every bit of value long after their essence has died. I've never witnessed things that haven't, and refuse to believe otherwise until I have.
 
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flimsythrowaway234

Member
Jun 5, 2025
15
I think it's pretty dependent on circumstances. My life has been more of a rollercoaster. My childhood started out tragically, when my Mum died. Stabalized a little with my Grandparents raising me but, took an absolute nose dive when my Dad remarried. Ages 10-18 were the very worst of my life- to date. After that, my 30's were better than my 20's because it took me a while to get into the career I wanted. So, I think it's very dependent on circumstances.

But sure, I can't see old age being an improvement for me. I suspect things will be downhill from now on. Part of it is because I have less fight now though. My 20's weren't good at all but I eventually decided to return to uni to try and steer my life in a better direction. So- some of it is how much effort we have left/ are willing to put into changing a life we don't like. I don't have that same motivation now. The goals aren't even appealing enough to strive for.
If you don't mind me asking, do you (or did you) get fulfilment from your job or is it just a soothing routine that keeps you tired and busy enough for the dread to be kept at bay?
 
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blacksand

blacksand

Specialist
May 2, 2023
317
Early 20s were the only part of life I really enjoyed. It just felt like the perfect age plus I had a good living situation going on with my own apartment in a city. It's insane to think I was a full adult back then now I'm 30 in my parents basement with no money no girl no confidence no nothing.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,898
If you don't mind me asking, do you (or did you) get fulfilment from your job or is it just a soothing routine that keeps you tired and busy enough for the dread to be kept at bay?

I used to get lots of fulfilment from it- it felt like my purpose in life pretty much. (It's a creative job. I turned to art as a coping mechanism in childhood and, it has been ever since.) The last few years though, it's begun to lose its lustre. I got to a point a few years back where it was no longer looking financially viable. So, I suppose I started to try to wean myself away from how important it was to me. As it happened, things picked up a bit but maybe since then, it's just not been doing what it used to for me.

Really, throughout my life- I've become the most intensely suicidal when my creative endeavours were failing. It's a terrific coping mechanism I think- for people who do love to be creative but, not the most stable.

Now, it's a bit of a millstone around my neck in a way. It's still a better job than others I've done but, I'm pretty slow at it. Even slower now that I have less energy/ enthusiasm. So, to try and maintain certain standards- which I do still care about at least I suppose, I need to work most days.

I think people do have to work so hard now though. I have friends who are busting their guts. It's hard to find a balance I think. Plus, it's harder I've found, to maintain friendships- especially when friends start to have children. Naturally, their priorities change. Did you find a career in something that interests you?
 
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flimsythrowaway234

Member
Jun 5, 2025
15
I used to get lots of fulfilment from it- it felt like my purpose in life pretty much. (It's a creative job. I turned to art as a coping mechanism in childhood and, it has been ever since.) The last few years though, it's begun to lose its lustre. I got to a point a few years back where it was no longer looking financially viable. So, I suppose I started to try to wean myself away from how important it was to me. As it happened, things picked up a bit but maybe since then, it's just not been doing what it used to for me.

Really, throughout my life- I've become the most intensely suicidal when my creative endeavours were failing. It's a terrific coping mechanism I think- for people who do love to be creative but, not the most stable.

Now, it's a bit of a millstone around my neck in a way. It's still a better job than others I've done but, I'm pretty slow at it. Even slower now that I have less energy/ enthusiasm. So, to try and maintain certain standards- which I do still care about at least I suppose, I need to work most days.

I think people do have to work so hard now though. I have friends who are busting their guts. It's hard to find a balance I think. Plus, it's harder I've found, to maintain friendships- especially when friends start to have children. Naturally, their priorities change. Did you find a career in something that interests you?
Oh no, having your coping mechanism ruined by capitalism sounds like the nightmare scenario. I'd say something nicer if I had any social skills.

I myself was never that interested in any single career, so I've just been taking whatever jobs I can get. The way I see it, it's good for a zombie like me to take the shite ones so others can chase their dreams.
 
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kopebaldy

Experienced
Jul 5, 2025
292
There's no one answer fits all, there are 8 billions of us each constantly rolling dices every second.

Some people's dices are just defective lol. Some of us roll nothing but duds.
 

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