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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
We have to get to the rock bottom to confirm that we are absolutely alone and that nobody remembers or cares about us? To realize that if we don't invite people, nobody invites us. I'm even a little ashamed. Am I so horrible and unlovable?
 
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SectOfValtiel

SectOfValtiel

Attendant of God
Nov 7, 2022
217
i think i knew how alone i was before i hit rock bottom
or maybe i still havent, every time i think its worse than its ever been something worse happens
even now im finding out its always possible to feel more alone than before

its awful to be forgotten
to feel so completely unimportant to all the people you ever loved
to know not just because youre catastrophizing but because of experience and observation that nobody notices when you arent around
nobody

it is sad
its excruciatingly so
i hope you can escape that feeling somehow someday
you dont deserve to feel that way- nobody does
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
i think i knew how alone i was before i hit rock bottom
or maybe i still havent, every time i think its worse than its ever been something worse happens
even now im finding out its always possible to feel more alone than before

its awful to be forgotten
to feel so completely unimportant to all the people you ever loved
to know not just because youre catastrophizing but because of experience and observation that nobody notices when you arent around
nobody

it is sad
its excruciatingly so
i hope you can escape that feeling somehow someday
you dont deserve to feel that way- nobody does
Yeah :( I think I just gave up on my friendships but I feel very disappointed. I think that people got tired of me
 
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SectOfValtiel

SectOfValtiel

Attendant of God
Nov 7, 2022
217
Yeah :( I think I just gave up on my friendships but I feel very disappointed. I think that people got tired of me
its the same for me
its been close to two months since ive talked to any of my friends
and none of them ever checked in, they even just stopped inviting me to game with them entirely
seems like nobody even noticed

its definitely disappointing
i think expectations can be healthy, and expecting your friends to... act like your friends... cant be an unhealthy one
idk
i also know i have a personality disorder so a lot of that has to be a delusion for me
but it just feels like observing facts, it doesnt feel like it comes from nowhere when people literally arent noticing youre gone
 
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onlyanimalsaregood

onlyanimalsaregood

Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
Mar 11, 2022
1,329
its the same for me
its been close to two months since ive talked to any of my friends
and none of them ever checked in, they even just stopped inviting me to game with them entirely
seems like nobody even noticed

its definitely disappointing
i think expectations can be healthy, and expecting your friends to... act like your friends... cant be an unhealthy one
idk
i also know i have a personality disorder so a lot of that has to be a delusion for me
but it just feels like observing facts, it doesnt feel like it comes from nowhere when people literally arent noticing youre gone
Indeed. On the other hand I understand that a depressed person it's not fun to be with.
If I may ask, what kind of personality disorder do you have? I've suspicious that I've one but I never got diagnosed
 
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SectOfValtiel

SectOfValtiel

Attendant of God
Nov 7, 2022
217
Indeed. On the other hand I understand that a depressed person it's not fun to be with.
If I may ask, what kind of personality disorder do you have? I've suspicious that I've one but I never got diagnosed
yeah, and thats exactly why i cant ever go to someone when i need it, even if they offer
i dont want to be a burden and i know i can be
if i find myself hard to be with i can imagine how everyone else must feel lmao

was officially diagnosed with BPD just a few days ago
though to be fair ive kinda known for over a year, im just cautious about self diagnosing i guess, wanted a professional opinion more or less
 

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