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- Feb 12, 2023
- 99
people are fucking useless. talking to people and making close friends is my biggest regret.
in my rants about loneliness, i always mentioned a period of my life where i was completely isolated from others and went months without any human interaction (except my family members.)
i got out of that situation because i met a really good friend (on overwatch of all places) and i got really close with them. then i made more friends down the road.
in the period where i was completely isolated, i felt numb and practically emotionless. i had nothing but apathy towards the world and all of the people in it. of course, near the end, i felt completely misery. but i'm not worried about that anymore. i have great friends and i feel even worse than i did when i was alone. i feel lonelier, too. i feel everything i felt when i was alone. but at least i didn't have to deal with all of this guilt when i was alone.
i'm miserable with or without people in my life and i'll always be that way. i can't have any kind of friend or anything without eventually resenting them for absolutely no reason. i'm just a mess. i'm destined for misery no matter what i do, so i might as well remove the people from my life. i don't want to hurt anyone, and my friends are amazing. they don't deserve to put up with this, they deserve a friend who can fully appreciate them and bring positivity to their lives instead of a person who exhausts them.
i'll just slowly distance myself until everyone is fully out of my life. i want to cause as little damage as possible.
in my rants about loneliness, i always mentioned a period of my life where i was completely isolated from others and went months without any human interaction (except my family members.)
i got out of that situation because i met a really good friend (on overwatch of all places) and i got really close with them. then i made more friends down the road.
in the period where i was completely isolated, i felt numb and practically emotionless. i had nothing but apathy towards the world and all of the people in it. of course, near the end, i felt completely misery. but i'm not worried about that anymore. i have great friends and i feel even worse than i did when i was alone. i feel lonelier, too. i feel everything i felt when i was alone. but at least i didn't have to deal with all of this guilt when i was alone.
i'm miserable with or without people in my life and i'll always be that way. i can't have any kind of friend or anything without eventually resenting them for absolutely no reason. i'm just a mess. i'm destined for misery no matter what i do, so i might as well remove the people from my life. i don't want to hurt anyone, and my friends are amazing. they don't deserve to put up with this, they deserve a friend who can fully appreciate them and bring positivity to their lives instead of a person who exhausts them.
i'll just slowly distance myself until everyone is fully out of my life. i want to cause as little damage as possible.