acidkitsune23
Member
- Jun 20, 2024
- 23
3 times. 3 times time after time I've fumbled these past months.
The girl I liked got a gf, and now she's not really talking to me. I feel like an idiot. I feel horrible. I was doing so well. Now I'm considering throwing everything away and relapsing. That is the only thing in my life that will ever be consistent. Nothing feels worth it anymore, and I just feel so hollow. I just want someone to love me.
My ex recently got another boyfriend and I just feel horrible (I was SEVERELY attached to him before we broke up, absolutely nothing against him by the way. He is an amazing person and I really am happy for him, I'm just taking everything in right now). My other more recent ex got a girlfriend literally days after we broke up, which is like, was I THAT disposable? Just that easy to up and abandon? He won't even text me anymore either. I just feel so alone. I want to feel that kind of attraction again-- REAL attraction. But I know people in real life wouldn't like me. I'm fat, I'm not that attractive, and I'm socially awkward. And where I live doesn't give me many options. I just feel so disposable and genuinely alone. I feel like genuinely nothing is worth it if I'm not dating someone. But then again, if I date someone that nagging thought is always there. "They're going to leave you". I don't want to spend more nights sobbing and crying over that again. I don't want to go through hell being nervous that I'm not good enough again. But I yearn for that feeling of attraction, the feeling of having a crush. I feel so stupid I am such an idiot. I'm not as frantic as I usually am, but it's just the calm before the storm. I know it'll get worse soon. It always does. At this point I'm begging for it so it will be over
The girl I liked got a gf, and now she's not really talking to me. I feel like an idiot. I feel horrible. I was doing so well. Now I'm considering throwing everything away and relapsing. That is the only thing in my life that will ever be consistent. Nothing feels worth it anymore, and I just feel so hollow. I just want someone to love me.
My ex recently got another boyfriend and I just feel horrible (I was SEVERELY attached to him before we broke up, absolutely nothing against him by the way. He is an amazing person and I really am happy for him, I'm just taking everything in right now). My other more recent ex got a girlfriend literally days after we broke up, which is like, was I THAT disposable? Just that easy to up and abandon? He won't even text me anymore either. I just feel so alone. I want to feel that kind of attraction again-- REAL attraction. But I know people in real life wouldn't like me. I'm fat, I'm not that attractive, and I'm socially awkward. And where I live doesn't give me many options. I just feel so disposable and genuinely alone. I feel like genuinely nothing is worth it if I'm not dating someone. But then again, if I date someone that nagging thought is always there. "They're going to leave you". I don't want to spend more nights sobbing and crying over that again. I don't want to go through hell being nervous that I'm not good enough again. But I yearn for that feeling of attraction, the feeling of having a crush. I feel so stupid I am such an idiot. I'm not as frantic as I usually am, but it's just the calm before the storm. I know it'll get worse soon. It always does. At this point I'm begging for it so it will be over
