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Luc1d

Luc1d

Member
Apr 5, 2023
5
I was diagnosed with BPD years ago. When I made a post a year ago, I was still in college juggling my studies with part time jobs. But years prior, I was a high school drop out who hated everything and anything. I was constantly into trouble and in simple terms, a very sad human being with no real connection to this world. I had deeply rooted issues with my trauma. Then when I was diagnosed, I took it as a death sentence. I thought there was no way out of the hole I dug for myself. So I stayed indoors for two complete years. That is, until I went back to school. One day, the pain that had lingered and brewed just became too much and I wanted to do anything to make it better. I had already SH, drugs, parties, sex, self isolation. You know what I never tried? Drowning myself into something positive. Like school and work. So when I started going back to school, I got a job and started up hobbies. Anything to distract myself. I integrated myself back into life in that way and surprisingly, it worked better than any drug. It helped me slowly piece things together enough to get the proper help I needed. I also met a lot of people along the way. I've finished college/university now and work at a clinic. I met an awesome man who acts as a pillar of support. I know there's a lot of negativity that goes on. I understand that the world is a shitty place. But if you're on here and you're reading this now, things won't forever stay shitty. Or maybe they will but past all that, there is hope. Everyone has the potential to be better; including you.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,036
OUTSTANDING!

I am so happy for you! Reading your thread truly made my day 100% better, thank you so much for that.

Lots of well wishes to you my good friend.

Congrats!

Walter
 
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Luc1d

Luc1d

Member
Apr 5, 2023
5
OUTSTANDING!

I am so happy for you! Reading your thread truly made my day 100% better, thank you so much for that.

Lots of well wishes to you my good friend.

Congrats!

Walter
Anytime 💕 lots of love
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
Thank you for sharing! I'm happy for you. I hope I can get better as well.
 
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LigottiSchopenhauer

LigottiSchopenhauer

Student
Jan 7, 2023
108
I basically agree with this... against all odds, I'm on a pathway to getting better as well. But I'll always appreciate that this sub gave me comfort and support in some of my darkest moments.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,036
I basically agree with this... against all odds, I'm on a pathway to getting better as well. But I'll always appreciate that this sub gave me comfort and support in some of my darkest moments.
FANTASTIC! You also help make my days so much better, just so wonderful!

Congrats and have a great weekend, my great friend.

Walter
 
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damienlerone03

damienlerone03

reject humanity, return to monke
May 5, 2024
1,046
the character development you had brings me to tears🙏 you could write a book on this and i'd be your first buyer!!
 
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V

VampQueen

Student
Feb 6, 2024
116
I'm literally so happy for you! Work and hobbies have always helped me stay afloat. And having someone to love for is a huge bonus. ❤️❤️
 
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Luc1d

Luc1d

Member
Apr 5, 2023
5
Thank you for sharing! I'm happy for you. I hope I can get better as well
You will :) "Everyone has the potential to better." I strongly believe that.
the character development you had brings me to tears🙏 you could write a book on this and i'd be your first buyer!!
Surprisingly, I published a chapbook and a small poetry piece. I unfortunately can't give it out since it would take away my anonymity on this site though 🥹 Writing was one of the hobbies I picked up once I started piecing myself back together 💕
 
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M

MountainMan99

Member
Jul 5, 2024
36
I was diagnosed with BPD years ago. When I made a post a year ago, I was still in college juggling my studies with part time jobs. But years prior, I was a high school drop out who hated everything and anything. I was constantly into trouble and in simple terms, a very sad human being with no real connection to this world. I had deeply rooted issues with my trauma. Then when I was diagnosed, I took it as a death sentence. I thought there was no way out of the hole I dug for myself. So I stayed indoors for two complete years. That is, until I went back to school. One day, the pain that had lingered and brewed just became too much and I wanted to do anything to make it better. I had already SH, drugs, parties, sex, self isolation. You know what I never tried? Drowning myself into something positive. Like school and work. So when I started going back to school, I got a job and started up hobbies. Anything to distract myself. I integrated myself back into life in that way and surprisingly, it worked better than any drug. It helped me slowly piece things together enough to get the proper help I needed. I also met a lot of people along the way. I've finished college/university now and work at a clinic. I met an awesome man who acts as a pillar of support. I know there's a lot of negativity that goes on. I understand that the world is a shitty place. But if you're on here and you're reading this now, things won't forever stay shitty. Or maybe they will but past all that, there is hope. Everyone has the potential to be better; including you.
Hey @Luc1d reading this made me very happy, i don't know why, i always get super happy when someone is recovering from suicidal ideation or seems to be in that path at least.

Maybe it's because i want to recover, i haven't been suicidal all my life, it was a specific event that happened about 2 years ago that made go into this spiral of depression, and i tried to get out of it sometimes, but then eventually surrended to this suicidal state.

But i've been wanting to recover for a while now, something that keeps going still is thinking this : "Death will come pick me up someday, and whether i die now while i am still young, or in a few years, that time will pass by quickly, but staying alive gives me the chance, the possibility of making my life better and achieve my dreams, at least some of them, and that would make me happy, if i die now through suicide, i will die sad and it will feel like i just threw my life away"

And i know life has a lot of negative stuff, but we can't only see that, from my experience, there is a lot of good stuff in life as well, but it's also about our perspective on life.

I hope you truly recover, i admit i have the SN and meto with me in a safe, but i am thinking about giving it 1 year trying my best to turn my life around, to see if i will no longer feel like killing myself.
 
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Luc1d

Luc1d

Member
Apr 5, 2023
5
Hey @Luc1d reading this made me very happy, i don't know why, i always get super happy when someone is recovering from suicidal ideation or seems to be in that path at least.

Maybe it's because i want to recover, i haven't been suicidal all my life, it was a specific event that happened about 2 years ago that made go into this spiral of depression, and i tried to get out of it sometimes, but then eventually surrended to this suicidal state.

But i've been wanting to recover for a while now, something that keeps going still is thinking this : "Death will come pick me up someday, and whether i die now while i am still young, or in a few years, that time will pass by quickly, but staying alive gives me the chance, the possibility of making my life better and achieve my dreams, at least some of them, and that would make me happy, if i die now through suicide, i will die sad and it will feel like i just threw my life away"

And i know life has a lot of negative stuff, but we can't only see that, from my experience, there is a lot of good stuff in life as well, but it's also about our perspective on life.

I hope you truly recover, i admit i have the SN and meto with me in a safe, but i am thinking about giving it 1 year trying my best to turn my life around, to see if i will no longer feel like killing myself.
Dont just give yourself a year. Give yourself five or ten. Find something that makes you tick and feel like life is truly worth living. Make goals and after that goal, find another. If there's something you've always wanted to do but felt like you couldn't, do it. Find anything that strives you and just start doing it asap. Immerse yourself in productivity. You can recover, I promise you.
 
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damienlerone03

damienlerone03

reject humanity, return to monke
May 5, 2024
1,046
Surprisingly, I published a chapbook and a small poetry piece. I unfortunately can't give it out since it would take away my anonymity on this site though 🥹 Writing was one of the hobbies I picked up once I started piecing myself back together 💕
I'm sure it's amazing either way!! Writing is always the best, can you imagine how ancient civilizations used to live without any form of written language LMAO
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,238
I aspire for things to get better, and things aren't all bleak for me. I THINK I'm on the right path, but I'm not certain. I hope I'm on the right path because the sooner I can graduate college and get on the path of a career, the sooner I can start anew (well, not completely anew, my cat is definitely coming along), and the sooner I can leave my past where it belongs, in the past.
 
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etherealspring

etherealspring

can someone just kill me already
Mar 27, 2024
273
amazing! happy for you and best wishes <3
 
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