Help It seems impossible to get my life back together. Is recovery doomed?

[SnowWhite]

I feel so lost. I thought I was making steady progress in the past four months but it's all just disappeared.

I managed to motivate myself to hold a job down, started saving and met a beautiful girl who would become my dream girlfriend, even though my mum despised the idea of me dating a girl. I had disposable income, and family arguments were something that happened in a group-chat due to my dad living on the channel islands. I started becoming more social, even going so far as to befriend somebody at work.

But four months and one lockdown later, I feel even worse than before.

In the span of two months, I lost everything. I lost my job and had to spend my savings to keep myself afloat. I'm so broke that I had to sell my motorbike that I'd been riding and working on for two and a half years. My girlfriend left me not long afterwards and I can't bring myself to go outside to socialise anymore. I feel so alone, yet panic and avoid social situations. My parents have been sharing the house since the start of lockdown (Dad couldn't fly back to Guernsey) and the petty comments and shouting from my mother are starting to do my head in.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Finding a job has been made more difficult since I've sold my only means of transport and, without any income, my financial situation is spiraling out of control. Despite the urgent need to find employment and to mature into society, I just can't seem to motivate myself anymore. It feels like every time I make it over a wall, I fall into a landmine.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I think many situations are possible to recover from. If you've achieved things once, like a job and gf, then this shows you are capable of it.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Your situation is a lot better than mine, not gonna lie.
I feel like everyone has those up and downs in life, not to mention things are especially hard during pandemic.
My life is a big mess right now but i've also had good times when I used to be in a constant good spirit and feeling fulfilled.

I think at end of the day you just gotta remember the good times, look up to it and avoid making detours to what we dont want.
You've had things going well before, that demonstrate your abilities to manifest things so long you maintain your focus.

Bikes get girls too haha. Good on ya buddy.
Use this time to reflect and have a plan how you can regain control of your life, perhaps.
Staying with family tend to be nerve-recking. It's why everyone move out after all.

Wish you well.

 

[SnowWhite]

I think many situations are possible to recover from. If you've achieved things once, like a job and gf, then this shows you are capable of it.

Thank you for your quick reply
I understand your point, and it's one of the few things that gives me confidence that I can keep my head above water.

I think my biggest worry is I feel like I have no future. BPD ruined me throughout my education and as a result my highest qualifications are from Secondary School/High School. The only jobs that I've ever been able to hold for over a month have been mind numbing work. Other work such as retail, are impossible for me due to my epilepsy being particularly sensitive in the mornings and early afternoons.

Your situation is a lot better than mine, not gonna lie.
I feel like everyone has those up and downs in life, not to mention things are especially hard during pandemic.
My life is a big mess right now but i've also had good times when I used to be in a constant good spirit and feeling fulfilled.

I think at end of the day you just gotta remember the good times, look up to it and avoid making detours to what we dont want.
You've had things going well before, that demonstrate your abilities to manifest things so long you maintain your focus.

Bikes get girls too haha. Good on ya buddy.
Use this time to reflect and have a plan how you can regain control of your life, perhaps.
Staying with family tend to be nerve-recking. It's why everyone moved out after all.

Wish you well.

Thank you for your well wishes
That's a lot of very good advice so thank you for taking the time to write it.

What advice would you give for somebody who's also trying to rebuild their social life?

 

[KleinerWolf]

What advice would you give for somebody who's also trying to rebuild their social life?

I doubt I'd be the most qualified person to give you advice on this topic coz my friend group is fairly small.
But as a overall guideline, I would say
be confident in yourself, keep it casual but be genuine. Don't be afraid to take initiatives, theres nothing wrong with reaching out first to arrange activities. Spend time with your friends regularly and show that you are interested in whats going on in their life.


Anyone have good advice please comment down below.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Thank you for your quick reply
I understand your point, and it's one of the few things that gives me confidence that I can keep my head above water.

I think my biggest worry is I feel like I have no future. BPD ruined me throughout my education and as a result my highest qualifications are from Secondary School/High School. The only jobs that I've ever been able to hold for over a month have been mind numbing work. Other work such as retail, are impossible for me due to my epilepsy...

What advice would you give for somebody who's also trying to rebuild their social life?

Unfortunately most jobs that aren't boring usually require prior training and skills. I don't know what to suggest if you're not able to train up. Some boring jobs are better than others though. I got lucky once with a factory job which often have bad reps, the people were nice, we swapped around what we were doing so it changed a bit, and if you can work p/t most jobs can be much more bearable.

Social life, i met new people to socialize with thru current friends (hard when u have 0 in the 1st place), in work and at my hobby (the gym). How about facebook etc to contact old/ex friends?