Story It's happening now

[ladymacbeth]

Well guys, today is the day.
I set my playlist (Lou Reed, David Bowie, Jeff Buckley, etc). Set some moody lights on my room, took a shitload of benzos (xanax) and quetiapine to relax my body and my SI and put on one of my bf tshirts.

I wrote letters for my boyfriend and my parents and sent apologies messages for the friends that I did wrong in the past, just to have some closure.
Today was a good day. I spent the day with my boyfriend, then went to a pub to hang out with some friends.
It was a good day and by the end I'm still poisoning myself with SN.
I had a good life. Supporting parents, boyfriends, friends and I'm actually a very pretty girl. But none of this were enough to make it through.
I am not posting it to brag, but to tell to all of you guys that feeling suicidal or bad because you're socially awkward or have an awful family is not something you deserved and a pain you need to bear.
In the end we are all fucked up loners who wants to end it all.
I truly felt held and welcome in this forum and I really hope that you guys feel the same. We are all people after all. We deserve love. We crave love as species and it hurts so much when it just didn't come.

Anyway, I thinks I lost my point.
I just took xanax, quetiapine, alcool and just drink the SN.
I'll keep you guys up to date to wherever is going to happen, promise to document it all here. Follow up for live suicide! (Kidding. Just a bit)

 

[Cherry]

I hope you find peace

 

[Huntfish34]

I'm glad you had a good day and so sorry life has brought you to this point.

Thoughts and prayers with you always. ♥ I wish you Nothing but the best.

 

[littlelady774]

Hope you find peace with whatever you decide to do

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

Truly sorry that life has brought you to this point. I wish you the best, whatever happens.

 

[SexyIncél]

Thank you for leaving kind words! You see someone's true spirit when they don't need to wear masks

 

[Laivirt]

I hope you enjoy a peaceful nonexistence.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry you're leaving us

 

[Worndown]

Best wishes on your journey.

 

[dreamscape1111]

it's always been now, dear, and always will be, forever. now, in silence, leave this life consciously and realize it is only the body that is dying, but not you, not the witness. simply let go of everything on your own accord. relax, and accept death. know yourself as the unchanging awareness, there is no death for it. be silent, joyful, and ready to go on a new venture. hope your next dream will be better, see you there.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry life has brought you here. May you rest in peace.

 

[Raven2]

Wishing you peace. Sorry life brought you to this point.

 

[Shivali]

wish you eternal peace

 

[PriestessOfVenus]

I am sorry to see you go, just as I freshly joined this site, as I am just beginning to find my way around here - but as a pagan priestess devoted to several Goddesses, it is my duty to provide whatever peace and comfort I can, even if it's only across the anonymous span of the Internet. May Hekate, the Lady of the Crossroads, watch over you in your journey, and may you find peace wherever you are going.

 

[sulli]

i hope you've found the peace you sought.

 

[living once]

Whatever happens, wishing you the best!

 

[UntilTheLast]

I'm sorry that this life wasn't able to give you the things that would have made you want to stay. You're probably gone by now, but if you're not, then I just want to say that seeing the Bus up close can show you things that aren't possible to see until you're there, standing in front of it. Things that might not change anything for you... but that also might. I want to say that it's okay to take that new information and to let it change things, if it truly does change things for you. It isn't wrong to choose to leave here. But it also isn't wrong to choose to stay. It's your choice, and yours alone, right up until the very end. Whatever happens, I hope that you find something better than what this life has been for you so far.

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find the freedom that you are looking for.