It's so hard to do anything

[Rose Mine]

It took me 3 hours to get up and take a shower. It's been so hard to do anything and I am barely showering anymore and still skipping out on brushing my teeth sometimes even though I just got 6 cavaties treated after years of neglect. I'm so disintrested in everything and I just do things to keep myself busy not because I enjoy it. I have a group today too and I am thinking about skipping out because it just seems to hard right now and I feel like I can't do anything.

I wish there was an easy fix. I want to be alive with my family and boyfriend but it feels like suicide is the only option sometimes. It's been so long of me having depression and I don't want to deal with it for more years to come. A lot of days are a constant battle inside my head and just dealing with so much shit inside that I can't handle. I don't even have a hard life I can only imagine how I will be when my life actually is harder.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I can understand this. It just took me 5 hours to "talk myself into" taking a shower (I just finished). Last was 4 days ago. It's pretty much like that everytime. Same goes for shaving, going to the grocery store, doing laundry, even cooking some food. It's hard to do anything anymore. It's all just meaningless really.

 

[Jdieiejdjaow]

I'm feeling exhausted as well. I white knuckle it every second. I shower every other day. The rest, I force myself as I know I'll feel good after I do it. The only problem is I live in a complex trauma situation and thus it makes it unbearable.

 

[Reflection]

I relate a lot and it has gotten so bad that sometimes I would even give up halfway while thinking about what to reply to a post on here lol, my mind is like "what's the point"

 

[grapevoid]

ughhh the apathy! This has to be one of the hardest depression symptoms. It's a "joke" all my friends and family are aware of in the mornings I always say "I've only been awake for X amount of time, I'm still coming to terms with being alive" because honestly that's what it feels like, like I'm calibrating to the fact that I have to actually be alive before I can even do anything.

I relate a lot and it has gotten so bad that sometimes I would even give up halfway while thinking about what to reply to a post on here lol, my mind is like "what's the point"

Me and explaining to my sister last night why I haven't been responding to her texts… I was going to then I just .. didn't feel like it lol

 

[Rose Mine]

I'm calibrating to the fact that I have to actually be alive before I can even do anything.

That's exactly what it is. The mornings are always hard for me and was part of the reason I hardly went to high school. Like I am dealing with the fact I am alive I can't do anything else before that passes lmao

 

[Baisley]

I know this feeling very well. It takes me forever to shower also and going to the store is really hard for me. I will wait until, I literally have nothing left and have to go. It's a vicious cycle. I am exhausted all the time. You definitely aren't alone.

 

[IDontKnowEverything]

Years of "I'll just do it some other time", knowing you don't mean those words. Falling behind more and more just to rest your head on a dirty pillowcase which brings 0 comfort, with no motivation to do anything anymore despite the crushing guilt yourself and definitely others too impose on you constantly.
Sorry, needed to vent a little. As what was said though, you most definitively aren't alone. Good luck with everything.

 

[missanthrope]

same here, depression. I havent washed my hair since December

 

[missanthrope]

I also dont have hot water so in the summer I will dont ask about the dishes

 

[Rose Mine]

I also dont have hot water so in the summer I will dont ask about the dishes

I am sorry about that, that is really hard to deal with, it is hard to shower already and then with the cold water it would be terrible for most. I understand why you aren't washing your hair right now besides depression. And paper plates and bowls are your best friend in times like these :)

 

[Hobowithalaptop]

Now the delay between my comments and the reaction of the AI mod feels right. It should have taken as long regarding my removed "pointless" post before to mask the fact that it's all just AI. You should fix that.

 

[CatLvr]

Well, dang -- I just started a thread about this very thing. Didn't see yours until after. I'm gonna go delete mine and post it here ...

This guy has a very interesting take on how to deal with depression, the differences in men and women with depression, and is very blunt about defending people with depression without enabling being a victim of depression. He has actually helped me quite a bit in the very short time I have been subscribing to his channel.

 

[galaxid]

I am sorry about that, that is really hard to deal with, it is hard to shower already and then with the cold water it would be terrible for most. I understand why you aren't washing your hair right now besides depression. And paper plates and bowls are your best friend in times like these :)

Paper plates and bowls are where its at! Unless you can't take out the trash... but that might be a 'me' thing lol.

 

[CatLvr]

I am sorry about that, that is really hard to deal with, it is hard to shower already and then with the cold water it would be terrible for most. I understand why you aren't washing your hair right now besides depression. And paper plates and bowls are your best friend in times like these :)

I read that showering in cold water and/or spending 15-20 minutes outside in cold weather helps the body heal because it activates some little microscopic gadgets inside our cells. (It's been a while ... ) Anyway, me -- Little Miss Is the Heater on 89F because I am FREEZING?? -- started giving it a try. At first it was just washing my hair in cold water. That wasn't so bad.

First time I took a shower that was lukewarm I thought I was gonna die. Now I actually enjoy my cold showers. In the winter I usually just step outside without a coat or gloves or hat for a half hour or so a couple times a day. The dogs LOVE it because they think it is playtime. Haha! In the summer I take a cold shower every night before bed.

In all honesty, I cannot tell of any change in my pain levels, and the last MRI I had showed that the arthritis in my back is getting worse. (Traumatic injuries -- like a tree falling on you -- accelerate the development of arthritis in the injured joints.) But I have been told my an awful lot of people that I look like I am in my late 40s, early 50s. I am 67. I NEVER heard any comments about looking younger than I am before I started the cold showers. Like I said, I actually enjoy those cold showers now. No one was more surprised than me, that's for sure!

 

[Rose Mine]

Well, dang -- I just started a thread about this very thing. Didn't see yours until after. I'm gonna go delete mine and post it here ...

This guy has a very interesting take on how to deal with depression, the differences in men and women with depression, and is very blunt about defending people with depression without enabling being a victim of depression. He has actually helped me quite a bit in the very short time I have been subscribing to his channel.

Thank you for this, I haven't cleaned my room in months I am taking this as a sign lol

I read that showering in cold water and/or spending 15-20 minutes outside in cold weather helps the body heal because it activates some little microscopic gadgets inside our cells.

That's intresting. I looked into it and mayo clinic press wrote how there are no confident evidence but there is some but that makes me think of ice baths for athletes. The really help some I guess. I try to be cold but it is 50 degrees where I live rn and I had to turn on the heater because I was shivering lol. I can not do cold but I might try it out because hot and cold water is good for hair, hot for opening hair pores and then cold to seal. At least that's what I heard

 

[divinemistress36]

Getting a mechanical toothbrush and water flosser can help with the lack of energy to brush teeth and some mouthwash next to the bed. Showering is hard I usually take baths and only wash my hair like once a week

 

[CatLvr]

Thank you for this, I haven't cleaned my room in months I am taking this as a sign lol

That's intresting. I looked into it and mayo clinic press wrote how there are no confident evidence but there is some but that makes me think of ice baths for athletes. The really help some I guess. I try to be cold but it is 50 degrees where I live rn and I had to turn on the heater because I was shivering lol. I can not do cold but I might try it out because hot and cold water is good for hair, hot for opening hair pores and then cold to seal. At least that's what I heard

Hmmm, interesting. I had someone tell me once that I was "just having a placebo effect" when I told them something was working for me. (Not this, something else years ago.) I told them I didn't give a flying fuck whether it "worked" or not, long as I felt better that was what I was after ... Lol

I will have to say that I have noticed since I started showering in cold water (I like baths but still can't bring myself to sit down in cold water haha!) I have noticed I sleep a little better. I shower in the evenings before I go to bed. It does seem to help with the arthritis pain in my back and hips. I will stand there for a good 10 minutes with cold water beating on my back. Feels like I've had a really good massage when I get out.