ForgottenAgain
On the rollercoaster of sadness
- Oct 17, 2023
- 1,146
This year started with us losing our home, my job at risk, same as my boyfriend's, me losing almost £900 in a scam and just all at the same time.
Usually, everything that I manage to accomplish is through blood, sweat and tears, several times literally. I don't see a lot of justice when things go wrong. However, I was able to get my £900 money back, albeit through weeks of studying law and defending my case, we lost our house but miracously found a very good one, albeit a bit more distant; I wasn't chosen for redundancy amidst mass layoffs and, yesterday, my boyfriend's company decided to renew is visa so, unless the government rejects for whatever reason, he'll still have a job and we will still be able to live together in the country.
Things have never gone this well for me, specifically not after a significantly bad time. I'm afraid of letting myself feel happy and that triggering even worse things, even though I rationally know that makes no sense.
I'm waking up and the house isn't all black and white, the walls are a lovely colour, there's no more mould, the kitchen exhaust works, there's space to fit our wardrobe in the bedroom, no more damned white venetian blinds, we have coloured curtains that let us sleep better.
I'm not used to things going well without a catch...why did things go well this time?
Usually, everything that I manage to accomplish is through blood, sweat and tears, several times literally. I don't see a lot of justice when things go wrong. However, I was able to get my £900 money back, albeit through weeks of studying law and defending my case, we lost our house but miracously found a very good one, albeit a bit more distant; I wasn't chosen for redundancy amidst mass layoffs and, yesterday, my boyfriend's company decided to renew is visa so, unless the government rejects for whatever reason, he'll still have a job and we will still be able to live together in the country.
Things have never gone this well for me, specifically not after a significantly bad time. I'm afraid of letting myself feel happy and that triggering even worse things, even though I rationally know that makes no sense.
I'm waking up and the house isn't all black and white, the walls are a lovely colour, there's no more mould, the kitchen exhaust works, there's space to fit our wardrobe in the bedroom, no more damned white venetian blinds, we have coloured curtains that let us sleep better.
I'm not used to things going well without a catch...why did things go well this time?
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