Venting I've been suffering most of my life.

[Darkover]

I was an anti-natalist, long before I even know what it was.

I recalled having conversations with my parents in my head again and again, saying "I never asked to be born". Constantly thinking about how I was brought upon here against my own will just to suffer. Having my existence used against me, with words like "You should be grateful that we put food on the table and a roof over your head", or "Did you know how much pain your mother went through just to bring you here?", "We brought you up in this world, so you better take care of us when you're older". This is just at the top of my head, there were a myriad of other selfish, narcissitic speeches of how I should be grateful to have been brought into this hellscape.

Suffering from childhood well into my teenage years, being abused physically and mentally. All the while people around me kept trying to pound it into my head that I should be grateful just to be here, just to be alive and take hits from those who were supposed to protect me.

I suffer looking at the state of the world.
I suffer knowing how quickly we are destroying our planet.
I suffer from reading the news.
I suffer from needing to work to survive.
I suffer from the daily commute and potentially being exposed to this virus.
I suffer from dealing with my dysfunctional family.
I suffer from not being able to spend time on things I actually enjoy.
I suffer from being addicted to nicotine or alcohol just so I can ease the pain.
I suffer with constantly not having enough money just to spend on things I want.
I suffer knowing I'm only in my 20s and I need to continue doing this shit for the next 50+ years or until I die.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Same here. I've been suffering for most of my life too. A lot of things in life cause me suffering even if the thing hasn't happened to me yet. Merely thinking about the risks I'm subjected to as well as what could happen to me scares me immensely. It's possible for me to get a chronic condition or brain damage or whatever and that scares me a lot even if I currently don't have any of those things

 

[Darkover]

Same here. I've been suffering for most of my life too. A lot of things in life cause me suffering even if the thing hasn't happened to me yet. Merely thinking about the risks I'm subjected to as well as what could happen to me scares me immensely. It's possible for me to get a chronic condition or brain damage or whatever and that scares me a lot even if I currently don't have any of those things

This fear and anticipation of suffering, often called "existential anxiety," can sometimes be as paralyzing as the suffering itself.

Living with the knowledge that life is inherently uncertain can be a heavy burden, especially if you've already endured so much. It's like life has taught you to expect the worst, and even when things are stable, your mind is on edge, waiting for the next disaster.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This fear and anticipation of suffering, often called "existential anxiety," can sometimes be as paralyzing as the suffering itself.

Living with the knowledge that life is inherently uncertain can be a heavy burden, especially if you've already endured so much. It's like life has taught you to expect the worst, and even when things are stable, your mind is on edge, waiting for the next disaster.

This is existential anxiety? Damn, I never knew. I thought that existential anxiety was somebody being anxious about how insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things which isn't something that applies to me. I hate being anxious about this though and I know that there's nothing that I can do about it since I'm not in the wrong here about this. Whilst the chances of getting a significant amount of suffering is low, the chances are still there and can happen. If it occurs to me, I wouldn't be thinking about how low the chances were; I'd be thinking "fuck, this hurts so much, get me out of this hellish planet". I already think this but it could get so much more worse

 

[Darkover]

This is existential anxiety? Damn, I never knew. I thought that existential anxiety was somebody being anxious about how insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things which isn't something that applies to me. I hate being anxious about this though and I know that there's nothing that I can do about it since I'm not in the wrong here about this. Whilst the chances of getting a significant amount of suffering is low, the chances are still there and can happen. If it occurs to me, I wouldn't be thinking about how low the chances were; I'd be thinking "fuck, this hurts so much, get me out of this hellish planet". I already think this but it could get so much more worse

Yes Existential anxiety is a feeling of dread or panic that arises when a person confronts the limitations of their existence. Thoughts of death, the meaningless of life, or the insignificance of self, can all trigger existential anxiety, It's a deeply unsettling experience that arises when we face the ultimate truths about life: our mortality, the absence of inherent meaning, and the vastness of the universe compared to our small, finite existence.

For many, this anxiety manifests in a persistent sense of dread, often bubbling up when confronted with thoughts about death or the unpredictable nature of life. It's not just fear of the unknown but a profound discomfort with the very nature of being alive—an awareness of fragility, impermanence, and the lack of guarantees.