Story Jill & Jane: Capability and Neccesity - If one can, does that mean one should?

[it's_a_little_cruel]

'If Jellicles can and Jellicles do, does that mean that Jellicles should?'

This is a quote that stuck with me over the years as i went on with my life as a hardworking academic. It is silly. A reference to 'Cats' The Musical, what is not silly about it? Yet still, it kept me thinking - so here's my two cents.

I believe that if anyone, literally anyone capable of basic reason and has free will, is also capable of accomplishing whatever they set their mind on, if they work hard enough. But does that mean that they should? The Jellicle Cats are able to do a vast series of things - singing, dancing, charming other cats into their group, casting out those who oppose their ideology, accending to another, better, Jellicle-given life that has cultist sacrificial ritual-like subtext. But does that mean that they should do all those things? If one stands capable to act in a way or other, needeth one? In all reason and calculations? That is my question.

I hate to pull from one's own personal life, but for myself, i've always been capable and considered as such. A capable student, a capable worker, a capable sister, a capable daughter, yet - what is one's drive to pursue these esteemed titles? Don't read me wrong, i am no sociopath, but effectively, what are actually the inner workings of the mind that lead it to want to live up to such heights? Well, going back on my personal example - I want to be a capable daughter that can support her parents and possibly even her extended family. Why? Because I love and respect the people who helped make me into the person i am today.

Seems simple enough, yes? No overly-complex mental gymnastics here, but - just for the sake of the argument i am about to make, keep these two pieces of reasoning in mind.
Here, we have the premise - 'I want to support my parents and extended family.'
Then, we follow with the reasoning of this statement - 'Because i love and respect my family.'
We must also take into account the question that ties these two statements together - the question is 'Why?'

To make my argument and simultaniously answer the question i posed at the begging, we must use this magic word that breeds reason - 'Why?' So here we begin:
'Why do I love and respect my family? - Because they love and respect me.
Why do they love and respect me? - Because i am 'blood from their blood and flesh from their flesh.' Simply put, because we are family, and family, from its inherited sense of our involuntary instantenious human perception - we automatically associate the word 'family' with being loved and respected, while also carrying genetic ties. So, taking this into account, i wouldn't call my family 'family' if:
-I didn't love or respect them
and/or
-They didn't love or respect me.

The latter can be taken as a push of the dominos, as naturally, if you start out by respecting a person, but then later found out that that person does not respect you, as in fact they think very miserably of you and do not want the best for you at all, so, by reasonable reaction, by now being familiar of this newfound displeasing information, you, now, share those same sentiments towards that person. In conclusion, you now both hate each other. This mutual hate was caused by you learning that the other person has a distaste for you before you had a distaste for them, so in the premise, the hate or simple lack of respect was one-sided.

So, then let's take the example of 'family' for a spin. Jill and Jane are twin sisters, they are tied genetically. Jill and Jane are identical in almost all aspects of their lives - they look the same, they sound the same, they dress the same, and all throughout their school and young-adult years they even both watch One Piece and indulged in online forums and discussed about it regularly (forgive my dated example of media, it's just a tool i'll make use of later).
Overall, Jill and Jane are alike and love each other very much. When Jill talks about her sister when she's with her friends at work, she says 'Well, Jane's my sister and i really care about her. Plus, she's just the funniest, she's the most hilarious sister one could ever ask for! I'm sorry i can't hang out much on the weekend, but i couldn't live wih myself if i even missed one of her stand-up's!'
Jane, also, every Sunday once service is over and people gather to chat, Jane can't help but praise her sister. She says: 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, that cheeky one, she's just the loveliest! Every time we're out in town and she hears someone sneeze, she can't help but yell ''Bless you!'' no matter how far away the person is! It's such a sweet thing, though some people tend to find it odd, it's just rooted deep in Jill's being, for her it's a reflex - she just can't help saying ''Bless you!'' each time she hears someone sneeze! I wish i gave my bless's so charitably!'
Things go well, good as they've always been, but then conflict arises. Jill goes online and sees that Jane has started to post some things criticizing the newest season of One Piece. Jill doesn't agree with these critisisms, in fact the newest season is her absolute favorite and sees her sister's remarks as being unreasonable. So the next day, after they get off work, Jill gives Jane a call. The exchange pleasentries, talk about work, their friends, the newest Netflix series that are about to come out, and naturally, the topic of One Piece comes up, and Jill doesn't falter to get straight to the point:

'Why didn't you like the newest season of One Piece, Jane?'
'Well, Jill, i just thought that the plotline was extrememely dull and the characters were acting very, well, out of character!'
'Well, Jane, i thought it was an amazing season! I'd argue even the best One Piece ever had to offer! I don't get how you can't see the genius of it!'
'And i don't get why you still like that silly show anymore! You should really stop watching those tacky little kids' shows, y'know? Also mom told me that they can't afford a proper funeral for Clifford, so she'll just mail you the ashes in a little urn necklace. It's a Georgian thing, so you know it's hip!'

Jill hangs up the phone. She can't look at her twin sister the same anymore.

But Jane, on the other hand is none the wiser. For her, this was just a harmless interaction with her twin sister. But while she doesn't know it yet, she'll come to notice it. On Saturday, she's doing stand-up. Jill's nowhere amongst the crowd. Jane texts Jill

'Where were you?'
Jill texts back.
'Sorry, couldn't make it, i'm out at a bar with some of my coworkers.'

Jane is a bit disappointed, but doesn't think much of it after that. She still talks fondly about her sister whenever she's chatting with the people at her workplace or at church. The next Saturday rolls around and she's doing another stand-up routine. Once again, she still can't seem to spot Jill amongst those in the audience. After the show, Jane texts her:

'Hey, i couldn't spot you while i was onstage, i'm just being held up by the manager, after i'm off wanna go get some Italian?'
Jill takes a minute, but she texts back.
'My bad, couldn't make it, i'm out with some girls from work, it was really last minute, didn't have time to text you.'
'Oh, ok. Next Saturday then? Your little urn necklace wound up in my postbox so you have to come get it. It even has your name on it!'
'Yeah, sure, see ya then.'

Next day it's Sunday. Jane's at church. People are gathering for a smoke and a chat. Jane, as usual, joins the conversation, while puffing a few clouds. 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, she's just so busy these days! I hope she's not meddling with the wrong crowd, wouldn't want another 'push-over freshman at St. Gregory's' experience for her too, ha-hah! Oh, but she's too smart for that! Did i mention she can recite the whole Periodic Table backwards?'

After the conversation dries up people finally start to go home. Jane stays behind, just for an extra smoke. Something's getting her awfully jittery, but she can't quite place her finger on why.

Next Saturday - Jane goes on stage. She's a little uncomfortable. Her punchlines feel forced. The crowd doesn't laugh as much as they would on most nights. Jill, predictibly is nowhere to be seen. As she leaves the venue, Jane gives Jill a call.

Jill doesn't pick up. Next day after church, Jane can't help but bad-mouth her. 'I mean, i just can't understand why she isn't talking to me anymore! She's so irresponsable that one!' She says inbetween puffs of smoke. She's on her fifth cigarette already. 'I make sure to text her and go to her silly cartoon presentations every quarter, yet she still can't make time to even call me? Bless. Her. Heart.'

Having had enough, Jane gets in her car and instead of driving home, she drives all the way to the opposite side of town in order to see Jill. She gets to her apartment, knocks and as soon as Jill opens the door, Jane doesn't miss a beat:

'Why aren't you talking to me? At least texting me? I haven't seen you in three whole weeks, what in the world is going on, Jill?'

Jill, shook from the sudden visit at first, regains her compossure and begins to speak.

'How many dogs did we have to cremate over the years, Jane?'
'Pardon?'
'How many dogs, Jane? And how many cats above that, huh? Not to mention the gerbels, guinea pigs, and that 6 foot long snake you came back with when you went with the PeaceCorps to Somalia that one time!'
'Technically, Roosevelt was a rock python-'
'That doesn't change the fact that Roosevelt sits in my living room, along with all of the other animals you gave mom over the years. And when they finally catch the bus, who do you always pass the ashes back to? Me, Jane, that's who!'
'Me, mom, dad and everybody else i know is a practicing Methodist, Jill, we can't just hold the ashes of friends long-gone in our own houses!'
'Oh, so, because i'm the Agnostic of the family, i gotta be the one with the urn collection, yeah? Everyday, i inhale Roosevelt dust, Jane! Roosevelt dust!'
'Well, you could've told me! Not avoided me like you did over these weeks, making me come straight at your door step just so i could get a word with you!
'Tch, like you would've listened - i have this exact conversation with you everytime you give me a new one for th ecollection - and you never listen! You know why? Because you have a problem, Jane. You know what normal people do with their dead pets? They bury them in the back yard. You make me hoard them. Mom even sent me both mine and your urn necklace and when i called her, she told me it's because you told her to!'
'Aww, don't take mom so seriously, she probably just made a mistake, she's 67, dementia's well on her way.'
'They literally had 'Jill' written on both of them. You fucking twat.'

Jill moved to close her door, but decided to get another word in:

'I'm sending you the urns. All of them. You deal with it, throw the ashes in a lake like a normal person, but if i see them back in my post, i'm spreading them all around your house.'

Again, Jill began pushing the door closed, but stopped again, one final time.

'Also One Piece is the magnusopus of storytelling and animation and if you don't agree, you can suck it.'

Slam! The door closed in Jane's face.

Finis.

So, what's our moral from this overly-dragged out example? Well, we analyze Jane and Jill's dynamic. In the family setting, the members of the family usually start by being loving, respectful and even speak fondly of each other as they are tied by well, family ties. Siblings, to be more exact, grow up together and are familiar with each other and more often that not, manage to nourish a positive relationship into adulthood. The peace is maintained, until a conflict arise, and a long-living conflict that built up over a long time that is. We can hold one party as the offender, in this case Jane, who makes her sister hoard all of their family's dead pets' ashes. Jill here, tried communicating to her sister that she does not like having to inhale the ashes dead pets in her own apartment. Jane makes the excuse that since Jill is only person from her circle that is not religious in any particular way, she should be the one to hold the urns.
Let's break the story beats next - they both praise each other whenever they come up in conversation. After being notified that she'll be receiving an urn necklace, Jill stops attending Jane's stand-up's. This irks Jane. Though it is not shown, we can assume that when speaking to her collegues at work, Jill is either not talking about her sister anymore or she's ranting to them, which is natural to her new perception of Jane as an individual, though it is still clear that it was something that was built up, over years presumably. Jane too, starts ranting about Jill. Now they both speak badly about each other. We can see the whole process and the change that occured as the story progressed.

Now, finally we return to my previous stament. "I wouldn't call my family ' family' if they didn't love or respect me or i didn't love or respect them."

In this case, we see a lack of respect on Jane's part. Surely the statement above seems harsh - to not call your own family 'family' anymore. But

 

[brokeandbroken]

'If Jellicles can and Jellicles do, does that mean that Jellicles should?'

This is a quote that stuck with me over the years as i went on with my life as a hardworking academic. It is silly. A reference to 'Cats' The Musical, what is not silly about it? Yet still, it kept me thinking - so here's my two cents.

I believe that if anyone, literally anyone capable of basic reason and has free will, is also capable of accomplishing whatever they set their mind on, if they work hard enough. But does that mean that they should? The Jellicle Cats are able to do a vast series of things - singing, dancing, charming other cats into their group, casting out those who oppose their ideology, accending to another, better, Jellicle-given life that has cultist sacrificial ritual-like subtext. But does that mean that they should do all those things? If one stands capable to act in a way or other, needeth one? In all reason and calculations? That is my question.

I hate to pull from one's own personal life, but for myself, i've always been capable and considered as such. A capable student, a capable worker, a capable sister, a capable daughter, yet - what is one's drive to pursue these esteemed titles? Don't read me wrong, i am no sociopath, but effectively, what are actually the inner workings of the mind that lead it to want to live up to such heights? Well, going back on my personal example - I want to be a capable daughter that can support her parents and possibly even her extended family. Why? Because I love and respect the people who helped make me into the person i am today.

Seems simple enough, yes? No overly-complex mental gymnastics here, but - just for the sake of the argument i am about to make, keep these two pieces of reasoning in mind.
Here, we have the premise - 'I want to support my parents and extended family.'
Then, we follow with the reasoning of this statement - 'Because i love and respect my family.'
We must also take into account the question that ties these two statements together - the question is 'Why?'

To make my argument and simultaniously answer the question i posed at the begging, we must use this magic word that breeds reason - 'Why?' So here we begin:
'Why do I love and respect my family? - Because they love and respect me.
Why do they love and respect me? - Because i am 'blood from their blood and flesh from their flesh.' Simply put, because we are family, and family, from its inherited sense of our involuntary instantenious human perception - we automatically associate the word 'family' with being loved and respected, while also carrying genetic ties. So, taking this into account, i wouldn't call my family 'family' if:
-I didn't love or respect them
and/or
-They didn't love or respect me.

The latter can be taken as a push of the dominos, as naturally, if you start out by respecting a person, but then later found out that that person does not respect you, as in fact they think very miserably of you and do not want the best for you at all, so, by reasonable reaction, by now being familiar of this newfound displeasing information, you, now, share those same sentiments towards that person. In conclusion, you now both hate each other. This mutual hate was caused by you learning that the other person has a distaste for you before you had a distaste for them, so in the premise, the hate or simple lack of respect was one-sided.

So, then let's take the example of 'family' for a spin. Jill and Jane are twin sisters, they are tied genetically. Jill and Jane are identical in almost all aspects of their lives - they look the same, they sound the same, they dress the same, and all throughout their school and young-adult years they even both watch One Piece and indulged in online forums and discussed about it regularly (forgive my dated example of media, it's just a tool i'll make use of later).
Overall, Jill and Jane are alike and love each other very much. When Jill talks about her sister when she's with her friends at work, she says 'Well, Jane's my sister and i really care about her. Plus, she's just the funniest, she's the most hilarious sister one could ever ask for! I'm sorry i can't hang out much on the weekend, but i couldn't live wih myself if i even missed one of her stand-up's!'
Jane, also, every Sunday once service is over and people gather to chat, Jane can't help but praise her sister. She says: 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, that cheeky one, she's just the loveliest! Every time we're out in town and she hears someone sneeze, she can't help but yell ''Bless you!'' no matter how far away the person is! It's such a sweet thing, though some people tend to find it odd, it's just rooted deep in Jill's being, for her it's a reflex - she just can't help saying ''Bless you!'' each time she hears someone sneeze! I wish i gave my bless's so charitably!'
Things go well, good as they've always been, but then conflict arises. Jill goes online and sees that Jane has started to post some things criticizing the newest season of One Piece. Jill doesn't agree with these critisisms, in fact the newest season is her absolute favorite and sees her sister's remarks as being unreasonable. So the next day, after they get off work, Jill gives Jane a call. The exchange pleasentries, talk about work, their friends, the newest Netflix series that are about to come out, and naturally, the topic of One Piece comes up, and Jill doesn't falter to get straight to the point:

'Why didn't you like the newest season of One Piece, Jane?'
'Well, Jill, i just thought that the plotline was extrememely dull and the characters were acting very, well, out of character!'
'Well, Jane, i thought it was an amazing season! I'd argue even the best One Piece ever had to offer! I don't get how you can't see the genius of it!'
'And i don't get why you still like that silly show anymore! You should really stop watching those tacky little kids' shows, y'know? Also mom told me that they can't afford a proper funeral for Clifford, so she'll just mail you the ashes in a little urn necklace. It's a Georgian thing, so you know it's hip!'

Jill hangs up the phone. She can't look at her twin sister the same anymore.

But Jane, on the other hand is none the wiser. For her, this was just a harmless interaction with her twin sister. But while she doesn't know it yet, she'll come to notice it. On Saturday, she's doing stand-up. Jill's nowhere amongst the crowd. Jane texts Jill

'Where were you?'
Jill texts back.
'Sorry, couldn't make it, i'm out at a bar with some of my coworkers.'

Jane is a bit disappointed, but doesn't think much of it after that. She still talks fondly about her sister whenever she's chatting with the people at her workplace or at church. The next Saturday rolls around and she's doing another stand-up routine. Once again, she still can't seem to spot Jill amongst those in the audience. After the show, Jane texts her:

'Hey, i couldn't spot you while i was onstage, i'm just being held up by the manager, after i'm off wanna go get some Italian?'
Jill takes a minute, but she texts back.
'My bad, couldn't make it, i'm out with some girls from work, it was really last minute, didn't have time to text you.'
'Oh, ok. Next Saturday then? Your little urn necklace wound up in my postbox so you have to come get it. It even has your name on it!'
'Yeah, sure, see ya then.'

Next day it's Sunday. Jane's at church. People are gathering for a smoke and a chat. Jane, as usual, joins the conversation, while puffing a few clouds. 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, she's just so busy these days! I hope she's not meddling with the wrong crowd, wouldn't want another 'push-over freshman at St. Gregory's' experience for her too, ha-hah! Oh, but she's too smart for that! Did i mention she can recite the whole Periodic Table backwards?'

After the conversation dries up people finally start to go home. Jane stays behind, just for an extra smoke. Something's getting her awfully jittery, but she can't quite place her finger on why.

Next Saturday - Jane goes on stage. She's a little uncomfortable. Her punchlines feel forced. The crowd doesn't laugh as much as they would on most nights. Jill, predictibly is nowhere to be seen. As she leaves the venue, Jane gives Jill a call.

Jill doesn't pick up. Next day after church, Jane can't help but bad-mouth her. 'I mean, i just can't understand why she isn't talking to me anymore! She's so irresponsable that one!' She says inbetween puffs of smoke. She's on her fifth cigarette already. 'I make sure to text her and go to her silly cartoon presentations every quarter, yet she still can't make time to even call me? Bless. Her. Heart.'

Having had enough, Jane gets in her car and instead of driving home, she drives all the way to the opposite side of town in order to see Jill. She gets to her apartment, knocks and as soon as Jill opens the door, Jane doesn't miss a beat:

'Why aren't you talking to me? At least texting me? I haven't seen you in three whole weeks, what in the world is going on, Jill?'

Jill, shook from the sudden visit at first, regains her compossure and begins to speak.

'How many dogs did we have to cremate over the years, Jane?'
'Pardon?'
'How many dogs, Jane? And how many cats above that, huh? Not to mention the gerbels, guinea pigs, and that 6 foot long snake you came back with when you went with the PeaceCorps to Somalia that one time!'
'Technically, Roosevelt was a rock python-'
'That doesn't change the fact that Roosevelt sits in my living room, along with all of the other animals you gave mom over the years. And when they finally catch the bus, who do you always pass the ashes back to? Me, Jane, that's who!'
'Me, mom, dad and everybody else i know is a practicing Methodist, Jill, we can't just hold the ashes of friends long-gone in our own houses!'
'Oh, so, because i'm the Agnostic of the family, i gotta be the one with the urn collection, yeah? Everyday, i inhale Roosevelt dust, Jane! Roosevelt dust!'
'Well, you could've told me! Not avoided me like you did over these weeks, making me come straight at your door step just so i could get a word with you!
'Tch, like you would've listened - i have this exact conversation with you everytime you give me a new one for th ecollection - and you never listen! You know why? Because you have a problem, Jane. You know what normal people do with their dead pets? They bury them in the back yard. You make me hoard them. Mom even sent me both mine and your urn necklace and when i called her, she told me it's because you told her to!'
'Aww, don't take mom so seriously, she probably just made a mistake, she's 67, dementia's well on her way.'
'They literally had 'Jill' written on both of them. You fucking twat.'

Jill moved to close her door, but decided to get another word in:

'I'm sending you the urns. All of them. You deal with it, throw the ashes in a lake like a normal person, but if i see them back in my post, i'm spreading them all around your house.'

Again, Jill began pushing the door closed, but stopped again, one final time.

'Also One Piece is the magnusopus of storytelling and animation and if you don't agree, you can suck it.'

Slam! The door closed in Jane's face.

Finis.

So, what's our moral from this overly-dragged out example? Well, we analyze Jane and Jill's dynamic. In the family setting, the members of the family usually start by being loving, respectful and even speak fondly of each other as they are tied by well, family ties. Siblings, to be more exact, grow up together and are familiar with each other and more often that not, manage to nourish a positive relationship into adulthood. The peace is maintained, until a conflict arise, and a long-living conflict that built up over a long time that is. We can hold one party as the offender, in this case Jane, who makes her sister hoard all of their family's dead pets' ashes. Jill here, tried communicating to her sister that she does not like having to inhale the ashes dead pets in her own apartment. Jane makes the excuse that since Jill is only person from her circle that is not religious in any particular way, she should be the one to hold the urns.
Let's break the story beats next - they both praise each other whenever they come up in conversation. After being notified that she'll be receiving an urn necklace, Jill stops attending Jane's stand-up's. This irks Jane. Though it is not shown, we can assume that when speaking to her collegues at work, Jill is either not talking about her sister anymore or she's ranting to them, which is natural to her new perception of Jane as an individual, though it is still clear that it was something that was built up, over years presumably. Jane too, starts ranting about Jill. Now they both speak badly about each other. We can see the whole process and the change that occured as the story progressed.

Now, finally we return to my previous stament. "I wouldn't call my family ' family' if they didn't love or respect me or i didn't love or respect them."

In this case, we see a lack of respect on Jane's part. Surely the statement above seems harsh - to not call your own family 'family' anymore. But

This is extra long so I skimmed in. If you can and are capable. Then it depends on what it is. If what it is, is world peace probably yes. If what it is, is murdering a whole bunch of people for no reason then probably not. It depends on what it is.

If your family treats you like ass for no reason. And you put up with it and finally give up that'd be different then you being an ass to your family for no reason.

Edit: I reread the post in full this time... Here's the issue.... Jill instead of being an adult and handling the situation as one should... Sulked and avoided conflict. Avoiding conflict is horrible because it ensures a much larger conflict will ensue. Jill could've easily called and said hey look I don't want a necklace urn can I bury it instead? And Jane would then have the opportunity to object or let her bury it. Hopefully with her. Jane actually acted as an adult (until the end). There are times when you keep beating someone's door down trying to avoid conflict and that person isn't receptive. At *that* point then cut them off.

Conflict is *normal*. People absolutely are horrible at interacting with each other. Therefore, conflict arises. People have different styles in how to approach it. Unfortunately. The best way is to get it out of the way. Letting it fester leads to resentment. It isn't fun but it is *necessary*. If that person matters to you. Address it. Keeping someone in the dark is the cruelest thing you can do. If she had responded look I have been over this I'd prefer to bury it. No issues. Or spread the ashes. Instead it festered and then exploded.

Additionally, disagreements in recreational matters are normal. People agreeing with you is boring. If everyone was exactly you. It would be a very very very boring planet. I like the newest "one piece " "me too!" End of conversation. Versus dissecting it and coming to a greater understanding.

No one I don't care how conflict avoidant will be able to permanently avoid it. Think of conflict as cancer. The early you treat it the better. If you let it go to long it will metasize. I'm sorry but it is impossible to avoid conflict. It will find you. And it will be worse. Want to avoid it face it head on.

I don't know the point of this. But if you value the relationship and they care about you. As it seems they do. Face it head on. You may get your twin back. Hope it helps.

 

[Scythe]

Interesting pholisophy piece! Interesting fable that went with it too! Your post also seem unfinished? Hit the word count or smth? Anyways, I don't think anyone can just do anything, I can't really be millionaire realistically. Sure there's a chance, but I don't think I can just work hard to reach that goal. That's not how the world works because society sucks.
I agree with your opinion about should we respect family and all that. Yea, most things are two ways, otherwise it's not fair. While your post doesn't rlly touch on this, but a lot of ppl do just do things because they can, regardless of if they should. For good or for bad, like overworking because your boss said so, or taking out your angry on your wall because it was right there, why not.

 

[brokeandbroken]

Interesting pholisophy piece! Interesting fable that went with it too! Your post also seem unfinished? Hit the word count or smth? Anyways, I don't think anyone can just do anything, I can't really be millionaire realistically. Sure there's a chance, but I don't think I can just work hard to reach that goal. That's not how the world works because society sucks.
I agree with your opinion about should we respect family and all that. Yea, most things are two ways, otherwise it's not fair. While your post doesn't rlly touch on this, but a lot of ppl do just do things because they can, regardless of if they should. For good or for bad, like overworking because your boss said so, or taking out your angry on your wall because it was right there, why not.

Life is difficult because as I discovered... in order to reach success you can't do it on your own. It's impossible. You will eventually run into a situation where you need someone. If all you do is work hard. That someone won't be there. I found out the hard way. I did my best not to neglect my family. I called my parents multiple times a week. I called my grandparents often. I texted other family members when I could. I worked my ass off. I did my best to make friends but I was bullied and isolated so it didn't happen. I tried to cultivate mentors whenever possible. I put myself out there. I tried to be a good citizen and do good for the world. Unfortunately, that situation found me. And there was no one there for me. My family ran away, I had no friends, the (US) government, and they all didn't deem me president of the oncology research group and doing everything possible to be an oncologist was worth their effort to save.

You need people. Unfortunately they are hard to come by. I don't have solutions nor know the answer. I just know who I've seen get help and it ain't me.

Sometimes that wall has it coming!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess it all hinges on our sense of obligation. The ideal would be that life is good. People are kind and caring to us, our jobs are fulfilling to us and we feel respected. Then, it wouldn't feel like obligation. We would do these things because we truly wanted to.

Life quite often isn't like that though. People exploit one another, we may hate our jobs. I think a growing dissatisfaction with society, the world, our leaders, our parents means that people feel less obliged to do things they don't want to do. Is it always a good thing to just allow yourself to be exploited?

It also hinges on how concerned you are over other people's opinions of you. I notice a big difference in generations between my Dad and me. He's always complaining about doing the gardening or, working on the house. Realistically- he doesn't have to do either. At least- nowhere near as much as he does but- in his own mind- he does. He'll even say: 'These things have to be done.' So much of his thinking has been influenced by being lectured on what other people will think- what the family will think, what the neighbours will think.

Personally- I don't think there's a set in stone right or wrong. Even if we took the most extreme example- someone out there has the potential to discover the cure for cancer. If they fulfil their potential, humans will start living even longer. Is that really a good thing? On a personal level- maybe but- this world is already overcrowded enough. Exactly what do humans do that doesn't benefit humans? Depends on how great you think the human race is really. I guess if someone could sort out our pollution problem, that would be good. Still- if the solution is out there- is it truly only one person who will be able to find it?

I think- in terms of personal development- it can help us to pursue things we are naturally gifted in and enjoy. It can give us a personal sense of purpose in life. If we're lucky- our efforts are rewarded and people appreciate and pay us for our contribution. As to whether we should feel obliged to? No- I think that sounds more like slavery.

 

[it's_a_little_cruel]

'If Jellicles can and Jellicles do, does that mean that Jellicles should?'

This is a quote that stuck with me over the years as i went on with my life as a hardworking academic. It is silly. A reference to 'Cats' The Musical, what is not silly about it? Yet still, it kept me thinking - so here's my two cents.

I believe that if anyone, literally anyone capable of basic reason and has free will, is also capable of accomplishing whatever they set their mind on, if they work hard enough. But does that mean that they should? The Jellicle Cats are able to do a vast series of things - singing, dancing, charming other cats into their group, casting out those who oppose their ideology, accending to another, better, Jellicle-given life that has cultist sacrificial ritual-like subtext. But does that mean that they should do all those things? If one stands capable to act in a way or other, needeth one? In all reason and calculations? That is my question.

I hate to pull from one's own personal life, but for myself, i've always been capable and considered as such. A capable student, a capable worker, a capable sister, a capable daughter, yet - what is one's drive to pursue these esteemed titles? Don't read me wrong, i am no sociopath, but effectively, what are actually the inner workings of the mind that lead it to want to live up to such heights? Well, going back on my personal example - I want to be a capable daughter that can support her parents and possibly even her extended family. Why? Because I love and respect the people who helped make me into the person i am today.

Seems simple enough, yes? No overly-complex mental gymnastics here, but - just for the sake of the argument i am about to make, keep these two pieces of reasoning in mind.
Here, we have the premise - 'I want to support my parents and extended family.'
Then, we follow with the reasoning of this statement - 'Because i love and respect my family.'
We must also take into account the question that ties these two statements together - the question is 'Why?'

To make my argument and simultaniously answer the question i posed at the begging, we must use this magic word that breeds reason - 'Why?' So here we begin:
'Why do I love and respect my family? - Because they love and respect me.
Why do they love and respect me? - Because i am 'blood from their blood and flesh from their flesh.' Simply put, because we are family, and family, from its inherited sense of our involuntary instantenious human perception - we automatically associate the word 'family' with being loved and respected, while also carrying genetic ties. So, taking this into account, i wouldn't call my family 'family' if:
-I didn't love or respect them
and/or
-They didn't love or respect me.

The latter can be taken as a push of the dominos, as naturally, if you start out by respecting a person, but then later found out that that person does not respect you, as in fact they think very miserably of you and do not want the best for you at all, so, by reasonable reaction, by now being familiar of this newfound displeasing information, you, now, share those same sentiments towards that person. In conclusion, you now both hate each other. This mutual hate was caused by you learning that the other person has a distaste for you before you had a distaste for them, so in the premise, the hate or simple lack of respect was one-sided.

So, then let's take the example of 'family' for a spin. Jill and Jane are twin sisters, they are tied genetically. Jill and Jane are identical in almost all aspects of their lives - they look the same, they sound the same, they dress the same, and all throughout their school and young-adult years they even both watch One Piece and indulged in online forums and discussed about it regularly (forgive my dated example of media, it's just a tool i'll make use of later).
Overall, Jill and Jane are alike and love each other very much. When Jill talks about her sister when she's with her friends at work, she says 'Well, Jane's my sister and i really care about her. Plus, she's just the funniest, she's the most hilarious sister one could ever ask for! I'm sorry i can't hang out much on the weekend, but i couldn't live wih myself if i even missed one of her stand-up's!'
Jane, also, every Sunday once service is over and people gather to chat, Jane can't help but praise her sister. She says: 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, that cheeky one, she's just the loveliest! Every time we're out in town and she hears someone sneeze, she can't help but yell ''Bless you!'' no matter how far away the person is! It's such a sweet thing, though some people tend to find it odd, it's just rooted deep in Jill's being, for her it's a reflex - she just can't help saying ''Bless you!'' each time she hears someone sneeze! I wish i gave my bless's so charitably!'
Things go well, good as they've always been, but then conflict arises. Jill goes online and sees that Jane has started to post some things criticizing the newest season of One Piece. Jill doesn't agree with these critisisms, in fact the newest season is her absolute favorite and sees her sister's remarks as being unreasonable. So the next day, after they get off work, Jill gives Jane a call. The exchange pleasentries, talk about work, their friends, the newest Netflix series that are about to come out, and naturally, the topic of One Piece comes up, and Jill doesn't falter to get straight to the point:

'Why didn't you like the newest season of One Piece, Jane?'
'Well, Jill, i just thought that the plotline was extrememely dull and the characters were acting very, well, out of character!'
'Well, Jane, i thought it was an amazing season! I'd argue even the best One Piece ever had to offer! I don't get how you can't see the genius of it!'
'And i don't get why you still like that silly show anymore! You should really stop watching those tacky little kids' shows, y'know? Also mom told me that they can't afford a proper funeral for Clifford, so she'll just mail you the ashes in a little urn necklace. It's a Georgian thing, so you know it's hip!'

Jill hangs up the phone. She can't look at her twin sister the same anymore.

But Jane, on the other hand is none the wiser. For her, this was just a harmless interaction with her twin sister. But while she doesn't know it yet, she'll come to notice it. On Saturday, she's doing stand-up. Jill's nowhere amongst the crowd. Jane texts Jill

'Where were you?'
Jill texts back.
'Sorry, couldn't make it, i'm out at a bar with some of my coworkers.'

Jane is a bit disappointed, but doesn't think much of it after that. She still talks fondly about her sister whenever she's chatting with the people at her workplace or at church. The next Saturday rolls around and she's doing another stand-up routine. Once again, she still can't seem to spot Jill amongst those in the audience. After the show, Jane texts her:

'Hey, i couldn't spot you while i was onstage, i'm just being held up by the manager, after i'm off wanna go get some Italian?'
Jill takes a minute, but she texts back.
'My bad, couldn't make it, i'm out with some girls from work, it was really last minute, didn't have time to text you.'
'Oh, ok. Next Saturday then? Your little urn necklace wound up in my postbox so you have to come get it. It even has your name on it!'
'Yeah, sure, see ya then.'

Next day it's Sunday. Jane's at church. People are gathering for a smoke and a chat. Jane, as usual, joins the conversation, while puffing a few clouds. 'Oh, Jill, bless her heart, she's just so busy these days! I hope she's not meddling with the wrong crowd, wouldn't want another 'push-over freshman at St. Gregory's' experience for her too, ha-hah! Oh, but she's too smart for that! Did i mention she can recite the whole Periodic Table backwards?'

After the conversation dries up people finally start to go home. Jane stays behind, just for an extra smoke. Something's getting her awfully jittery, but she can't quite place her finger on why.

Next Saturday - Jane goes on stage. She's a little uncomfortable. Her punchlines feel forced. The crowd doesn't laugh as much as they would on most nights. Jill, predictibly is nowhere to be seen. As she leaves the venue, Jane gives Jill a call.

Jill doesn't pick up. Next day after church, Jane can't help but bad-mouth her. 'I mean, i just can't understand why she isn't talking to me anymore! She's so irresponsable that one!' She says inbetween puffs of smoke. She's on her fifth cigarette already. 'I make sure to text her and go to her silly cartoon presentations every quarter, yet she still can't make time to even call me? Bless. Her. Heart.'

Having had enough, Jane gets in her car and instead of driving home, she drives all the way to the opposite side of town in order to see Jill. She gets to her apartment, knocks and as soon as Jill opens the door, Jane doesn't miss a beat:

'Why aren't you talking to me? At least texting me? I haven't seen you in three whole weeks, what in the world is going on, Jill?'

Jill, shook from the sudden visit at first, regains her compossure and begins to speak.

'How many dogs did we have to cremate over the years, Jane?'
'Pardon?'
'How many dogs, Jane? And how many cats above that, huh? Not to mention the gerbels, guinea pigs, and that 6 foot long snake you came back with when you went with the PeaceCorps to Somalia that one time!'
'Technically, Roosevelt was a rock python-'
'That doesn't change the fact that Roosevelt sits in my living room, along with all of the other animals you gave mom over the years. And when they finally catch the bus, who do you always pass the ashes back to? Me, Jane, that's who!'
'Me, mom, dad and everybody else i know is a practicing Methodist, Jill, we can't just hold the ashes of friends long-gone in our own houses!'
'Oh, so, because i'm the Agnostic of the family, i gotta be the one with the urn collection, yeah? Everyday, i inhale Roosevelt dust, Jane! Roosevelt dust!'
'Well, you could've told me! Not avoided me like you did over these weeks, making me come straight at your door step just so i could get a word with you!
'Tch, like you would've listened - i have this exact conversation with you everytime you give me a new one for th ecollection - and you never listen! You know why? Because you have a problem, Jane. You know what normal people do with their dead pets? They bury them in the back yard. You make me hoard them. Mom even sent me both mine and your urn necklace and when i called her, she told me it's because you told her to!'
'Aww, don't take mom so seriously, she probably just made a mistake, she's 67, dementia's well on her way.'
'They literally had 'Jill' written on both of them. You fucking twat.'

Jill moved to close her door, but decided to get another word in:

'I'm sending you the urns. All of them. You deal with it, throw the ashes in a lake like a normal person, but if i see them back in my post, i'm spreading them all around your house.'

Again, Jill began pushing the door closed, but stopped again, one final time.

'Also One Piece is the magnusopus of storytelling and animation and if you don't agree, you can suck it.'

Slam! The door closed in Jane's face.

Finis.

So, what's our moral from this overly-dragged out example? Well, we analyze Jane and Jill's dynamic. In the family setting, the members of the family usually start by being loving, respectful and even speak fondly of each other as they are tied by well, family ties. Siblings, to be more exact, grow up together and are familiar with each other and more often that not, manage to nourish a positive relationship into adulthood. The peace is maintained, until a conflict arise, and a long-living conflict that built up over a long time that is. We can hold one party as the offender, in this case Jane, who makes her sister hoard all of their family's dead pets' ashes. Jill here, tried communicating to her sister that she does not like having to inhale the ashes dead pets in her own apartment. Jane makes the excuse that since Jill is only person from her circle that is not religious in any particular way, she should be the one to hold the urns.
Let's break the story beats next - they both praise each other whenever they come up in conversation. After being notified that she'll be receiving an urn necklace, Jill stops attending Jane's stand-up's. This irks Jane. Though it is not shown, we can assume that when speaking to her collegues at work, Jill is either not talking about her sister anymore or she's ranting to them, which is natural to her new perception of Jane as an individual, though it is still clear that it was something that was built up, over years presumably. Jane too, starts ranting about Jill. Now they both speak badly about each other. We can see the whole process and the change that occured as the story progressed.

Now, finally we return to my previous stament. "I wouldn't call my family ' family' if they didn't love or respect me or i didn't love or respect them."

In this case, we see a lack of respect on Jane's part. Surely the statement above seems harsh - to not call your own family 'family' anymore. But

apologies for such a long post, but also i accidentally published the unfinished version. I see a lot o f confusion in the comments, so i have already put together tthe finished version. it offers way more detail and i promise you it has a point. please ignore this post and maybe check out the most recent finished one. if anyoen has any idea on how i can delete a post, please inform me.

 

[Death is my goal]

holy wall of text