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athiestjoe

athiestjoe

Passenger
Sep 24, 2024
410
Hey you amazing creatures,

I am getting my self-deliverance!

During my time here at SaSu, I've tried to make this community a little better by sharing what I know, hoping it might help someone else, just as others have helped me. Along the way, I've had the privilege of making some incredible friends here—though I always knew these friendships were at arm's length and destined to be long-term given either they or I would depart this cruel world at some point. One of my buddy's here already got their peace. Now is my turn. I have had the honor of making some real friends here and you know who you are, I cherish y'all.

I wanted to take a moment to say my heartfelt goodbye and share what my plan looks like. To be clear, every decision I've made has been mine and mine alone. I do welcome good luck, finding peace and messages of those sorts but please do not use this post to try to tell me to think it over me as I have done plenty of that already, I am sure.

SN: My SN is from a very popular retailer, using a business account. YT brand.

Testing Results: Bartovation Nitrite test strip shows high nitrite (note, one user error was I used 500ml water bottles and they were not quite filled up all the way which should explain the higher concentration results). Results exceed 10 PPM with flying colors. The Nitrate also tests high but as you all recall Vizzy and others explained this is normal. Used distilled water.

Distilled Water: did turn a little bit of color so also factoring this into the end result (I used old purified water bottles so the inside was not fully dry, regardless I want to be as detailed in my reporting as possible for educational purposes)
1729962419569

I re-did a test in just the distilled water bottle which yielded the result it should be, so the test strips appear fine:
1729965080892


Bottle 1 with 2.5g SN in 500ml water:

1729962433974


Bottle 2 (with 1ml from Bottle 1 added):
`
1729962627084


Protocol:
  • 10 hours before SN, final light snack, begin food fast
  • 10 hours before SN, 10mg Norco
  • 3 hours before SN, 10mg Norco
  • 2.5 hours before SN, water fast begins
  • 1 hour before SN, 750mg Tylenol (acetaminophen) + 50mg Benadryl (Diphenhydramine) + 8mg Zofran (ondansetron) (small sip water)
  • 45 minutes before SN, 30mg Reglan (Metoclopramide) Stat Dose (I got my meto through a telehealth visit and filled at my local pharmacy (small sip water)
  • 25 minutes before SN, prepare three 50-ml cups of water + 25g weighed out SN (each cup)
  • 20 minutes before SN – 4mg Ativan (Lorazepam), 1.5mg Klonopin (Clonazepam), 2mg Xanax (alprazolam) *TBD May incorporate 40mg (four-10mg tabs) Ambien (zolpidem)* >> all pulverized into a small slurry or taken with small sip of water.
  • Have an email scheduled for 12 hours after SN ingestion to family so they know to alert authorities to get my body. I live alone so no one would find me for a very, very long time otherwise.
  • Drink SN, lay back in bed
About my med choices: (1) Norco - I live with chronic pain and have been prescribed this medication for over a decade. I have significant tolerance. I do not suggest others who do not have a tolerance incorporate opioids into protocols as they increase a risk of vomiting but for me, I tolerate it very well. I do not wish to be in pain from not taking my usually scheduled medication, and is also why the Tylenol dose is lower than 1000mg as Norco has acetaminophen in it; (2) Benadryl - I am adding this for it's mild sedation since I do not have a ton of benzos and I may end up swapping the Tylenol for Tylenol PM which has the Benadryl already added to avoid extra pills; (3) Zofran - although this is not a D2 dopamine antagonist thus has no prokinetic effect, it works well with Reglan (metoclopramide) and is not a bad addition and since I have it I plan to use it; (4) random benzo mix because it is just what I have on hand, it is not very much at all and nowhere near what would be taken for a proper dose in a protocol but it can't hurt to have them; and, (5) Ambien, because I have a decent tolerance to it, it is not going to knock me out in those 20 minutes hard so it is not going to cause me to just fall asleep but Ambien does have a mildly sedating effect and in light of not many benzos I am contemplating adding them to my meds although am not positive I will quite yet.

If this is successful, it can also be a vouch for the YT brand SN as I believe we only have one user here who also used it. Wish me luck.

Timeline: I plan to carry out my self-deliverance on Sunday, October 27, 2024 or Monday, October 28, 2024; not positive on the date right now as I am going to have someone here document it so need to make sure our schedules align well enough. This was a difficult decision, but my suffering has become overwhelming, and I need peace now, not later.

My reasons are straightforward and only briefly sharing this so everyone is aware this is well thought throw and I have evaluated all options carefully before coming to this decision: I've done all I can in this painful, unforgiving world, and I've thought this through for a long time. I have given every other option a valid, wholehearted try. I've reached this decision with a clear and calm mind. I want to sincerely thank everyone who made my time here memorable. You are truly incredible people who've shown wit, compassion, understanding, and grace. I'm deeply sorry for anyone who's struggling in this world. Please know that no one else needs to follow the path I've chosen—take the time you need for yourself. I've had the time to reflect and make my decision.

While I could name some of you that "I'll miss", stepping into nothingness means I won't have the capacity to miss anyone—but for sentiment's sake, I'll say it's been a pleasure knowing you. I genuinely wish each and every one of you the very best. It's been incredible getting to know all of you truly badass people. I've built some amazing relationships here, and I am grateful to have met you and for providing me a safe place to just be myself. You've brought me more joy in my final days more than you'll ever know. Truly, thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I feel genuinely happy and so ready for the nothingness ahead. This is the right path for me. Be kind to one another on this site, this is a truly special place, a real community. I'm thankful to each of you being part of my journey.

Looking forward to my peace & serenity at last.
 
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nihilistic_dragon

nihilistic_dragon

Dead already. Just need to dispose of my body now.
Aug 6, 2024
741
Safe travels, stranger. Wishing you a peaceful and vomitless journey!
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Eating Disordered Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
1,392
You already know <3 Will miss your amazing contributions and presence here, but we'll make sure they live on for you. Thinking of you.
 
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Chaosire

Chaosire

Literally insane, legally speaking
Sep 23, 2024
127
Thank you for your contributions.
I hope that everything goes accordingly to plan, if you execute it.
Safe travels, my friend. I hope you find the rest and peace you deserve. But sad to hear you're not going to be around to celebrate Halloween...
 
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vanillamilkshakes

vanillamilkshakes

Aspiring Corpse
Aug 26, 2024
435
Thank you for your help in the SS community! Hope you find peace, godspeed
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
39,131
I hope that you find the peace you search for, I wish you the best.
 
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T

Tony24

Member
Jun 16, 2024
67
You've contributed a lot to this site. You will be missed here, Joe.
 
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B

Bear1234

Student
Jul 8, 2024
137
Safe travels friend <3
 
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ChaoticMind

ChaoticMind

Member
May 10, 2024
15
Farwell my friend i hope to meet you in the afterlife one day, planning my own farwell as well
 
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ezziiooo678

ezziiooo678

Member
Oct 11, 2024
23
I always see your comments under others posts always contributing so much to others, I wish you the absolute best and hope you're able to finally rest.
 
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Tombs_in_your_eyes

Tombs_in_your_eyes

Member
Oct 18, 2024
64
We will miss you! You have been such a supportive, informative, eloquent, compassionate presence on this site - always putting so much effort into your posts - we have benefitted tremendously from having you here.
 
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legoshi

legoshi

Member
Sep 3, 2024
76
Hope you find peace.

Reading these threads makes me realize I don't know how to get all these other drugs for the SN method. I'm so lost. Also when it comes to testing SN. I have a water ppm reader can the alone suffice to tell me if it's good since the person mentioned a reading of more than 10 ppm?
 
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A

a_tired_autist

Member
Oct 5, 2024
24
You have been one of the many amazing members of this community. Your interactions were always amazing. May you rest in peace.
 
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S

ssspadbye

Member
Oct 21, 2024
55
All the very best.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
978
I'm happy for you!
I hope you have a smooth transition & are able to find a place of eternal peace & love🌹💔
 
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Thisisnotaname

Thisisnotaname

Freedom or death
Aug 27, 2024
415
I love you

Th 3468151161
 
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U

Unspoken7612

Specialist
Jul 14, 2024
367
Thanks for what you have done for this site. Hopefully someone else will do an equally good job of informing people about successes and failures with SN. I'm thinking of you and I know other people will be as well.

Hope you don't suffer any unnecessary pain.
 
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euphoric_freak

euphoric_freak

Member
Oct 16, 2024
13
Thank you for all you've done for others and also, for all you've done for me.

I hope you find peace.
 
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DeadNotSleeping

DeadNotSleeping

Eternally Internally Screaming
Oct 7, 2024
144
Just like any of your other posts I know this is something you've thought out to the fullest. I appreciate you going through your protocol and reasoning for everything. I haven't known you long, but I'll cherish our chats forever or until my own time comes for self deliverance.

I truly hope this brings you the peace you're looking for. You're a good person and don't deserve to hurt any longer.
 
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S

SA1994EC

Student
Jan 28, 2021
142
Thank you very much for your contribution to this community. You will be missed tremendously.
I wish you smooth peaceful sailing to the world you deserve to be.
 
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C

Canteventhinktoday

Member
Oct 26, 2024
5
I hope you find peace and you ctb with serenity
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,799
I wish you a peaceful and smooth journey. Thank you for all your kindness. I hope you find your peace.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,883
I hope you are able to have a peaceful exit. :heart:
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,338
I'm happy for your pain to becoming to an end. Thank you for your kindness and contributions
 
Last edited:
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T

tara44

Member
Oct 17, 2024
62
I hope you find peace wherever you go. Thank you for all your support throughout your time here
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
9,553
Wishing you a peaceful journey. May you find what you couldn't find here on this world. :heart::hug::heart::hug::heart:
Sorry to hear you are leaving. 😥 I will say goodbye now in case I don't get to later. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
 
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DeathSleep

DeathSleep

Unstable Potato
May 25, 2023
239
I hope you find your peace.
 
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Tuonetar_

Tuonetar_

Member
Sep 18, 2024
74
Thank you for your contributions here. Regardless of what the outcome may be, I hope you recognize that you have made a lasting impact on so many people on our little corner of the internet.
 
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L

LostSoul1965

Mage
Apr 15, 2024
558
Until we meet again my friend. Your tireless efforts to educate and support the wonderful people here will never be forgotten. You are an amazing person and deserve the peace and serenity you desire. Safe travels my friend. ❤️
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,237
I'll miss seeing your posts on here, Joe. Thank you for being such a great guy
 
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