Venting Joking on serious threads

[aneurysm]

read till the end before replying

Me: joke
SS: wait, that's illegal

Sometimes, I feel like I can't be myself on here. I'm often fighting with my urge to joke in serious threads of suicidal people (I know it sounds bad, but let me explain).

I understand that people here need compassion first, but why is it that we always take ourselves so seriously on here?


i get it, it's suicide, it's serious. I respect that but isn't life also a joke? It seems like dark humor is forbidden on here. So it's true what they say, that joking became officially illegal in 2019?

I recently wrote a comment that was meant to be interpreted with humor on here and it bothered some people. I felt like I was being unfairly reprimanded and was afraid to honestly express my thoughts because the people who were mad are more loved by this community than me ( reaction score).


To be honest, I often feel compassion fatigue on here. Like, I get annoyed at the abundance of overly compassionate comments, but I don't slam people for it. I understand that some people are just different.

As for me, sometimes I feel like responding lovingly and with warmth and other times, I feel like using dark humor.
it might sound weird to you, but I don't get why it's not okay. I genuinely don't get it.
View attachment 59948

what inspired me to write this is this thread, https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ten-threads-we-havent-seen-yet-but-probably-will-soon.34371/

I discovered this thread this morning and was pleasantly surprised, I often have similar threads ideas but then I remember how annoying people can be on here (for context, you can follow this link https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/god-is-making-me-suffer-i-swear.60482/).

Of course, if the person I am joking with tell me to stop, I will, and in the future, I will avoid joking with that specific person because he doesn't like it. However, I don't think it's the place of other members to tell me what I can and can't say, specifically when I am not talking to them and when the person I am talking to didn't say anything.

I feel like we live in a weird world now where freedom of expression is under threat, and everyone feels like telling others what they can and can't say. I can proudly say that I have never done that. Ever.

It could also be a cultural clash. I am more of a French heritage so maybe I don't understand stuff about how American think. Idk. Either way.

I feel better after expressing my thoughts, I am not mad at anyone. It's normal to disagree with people sometimes, and it's normal to want to talk about it (which is what I am doing right now).

I am really curious to hear your thoughts about all this. Feel free to say anything on your mind, only one thing: please be honest. I am always open to the eventuality that I might be wrong.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think it is possible to joke on serious threads but that's without making fun of the OPs or people commenting there.
I mean, you can laugh at certain situations.
For instance, I suck so much at partial hanging that I'm probably better at mastering japanese, chinese and korean! lol

 

[PrettyMoose]

Maybe try the chat function more often then? Lots of us use dark humor in there and no one gets pissed about it. I've never had this problem in the forum either but then again I use the chat more often than I use the forum.

 

[aneurysm]

Lots of us use dark humor in there and no one gets pissed about it.

oh really?

I think it is possible to joke on serious threads but that's without making fun of the OPs

I honestly never made fun of anyone. I feel like you'd really have to overthink my joke to feel like I'm making fun. The problem is, on that thread, OP himself remained silent to my joke so I guess I'll never know if it bothered him or not. It was just meant to be a cute little reply, in all honesty and sincerity. I don't get how that got people mad. Specially when OP himself didn't say anything.

 

[PrettyMoose]

Yeah it's easier to joke with people once you get to know them better and once they know how you are. I don't know what the context of the joke was that this thread was started over. I just thought it was a generalized thing. I'd have to see the thread in question to get more of a clue on the specific thing you're talking about. All I know is that it can be difficult to come across in the way you intend to when you're dealing with people who don't know you all that well, especially dealing with text on a screen with the emotions of faces and voices removed.

 

[LastFlowers]

It was because you said "I knew it :p" in response to someone's failed attempt.
I use dark humor all the time, even about my own situation, but it's not humor born from joy, I really am in excruciating pain and if I really attempted to CTB-but failed or couldn't manage it- that wouldn't be amusing in the slightest to me.
It doesn't really even make sense as a joke to be honest, but hey, I've made jokes that are no less unfitting.
You're not an anomaly, don't worry yourself sick over it.
I believe compassion fatigue and restrictions on expression of thought have nothing to do with this situation.

To be safe, I think you should maybe reserve most of that for the off-topic threads, some of which have plenty of joking and meme-ing going on, even in regards to the serious topic at hand.
Also, in cases such as this, I think it's best to wait for direction from the OP, if they start to poke fun at their own situation, then and only then, would it be understandable to follow their lead.
But in the thread where I already responded to you about this, I don't think the OP was going in that direction. Sometimes we fail to read the room, you're not the only one guilty of this. I know how it feels to have the finger pointed at you for one miss-step.
It's okay if you messed up and made a statement or a joke that fell on deaf ears. You can still edit your comment within a certain amount of time (I think that's what some of us were waiting for you to do), and personally, I had already forgotten about this before you brought it up again.
I would not hold it against you.

As far as people siding with certain members over you because they are "more loved by the community"...We all started off with zero reactions, and honestly, some people put a lot of effort into their posts and don't get nearly as high of a reaction score as those who shit post. You can't even see the score anymore without clicking on the username (at least on mobile), nor can you discern it from the previous color coding for post count (we can all choose any color now). So I assure you, plenty of people are not on the side of those with a higher reaction score. In fact, some of those people probably get the ignore button slammed on them over those who are less prolific posters.

 

[aneurysm]

Yeah it's easier to joke with people once you get to know them better and once they know how you are. I don't know what the context of the joke was that this thread was started over. I just thought it was a generalized thing. I'd have to see the thread in question to get more of a clue on the specific thing you're talking about. All I know is that it can be difficult to come across in the way you intend to when you're dealing with people who don't know you all that well, especially dealing with text on a screen with the emotions of faces and voices removed.

I totally agree with you.
you're right, there kind of is a context, but I guess I was the only one to know it.

I kept seing that person's thread about killing himself by guns and another person was talking about getting hit by a train. But from experience, people who make this type of thread never end up doing it and keep on creating more threads about even more gore methods (someone talked about putting his dick in a cake...).

that was the context. But I understand that it might not be obvious to everyone.

 

[Despondent]

I don't see anything wrong with using dark humor but just be careful with how you use it -- depending on the context of the thread. If somebody's looking for sympathy, maybe try to avoid it. Dark humor is used by many people as a way of coping so there's nothing wrong with it (you're not wrong for using it). It can help to lighten the mood.

As for the reaction score thing, I wouldn't go as far to say that members with higher reaction scores are more loved in this community. Maybe there's some members here who think the same thing, but we're all equals.

Don't forget that you're just as welcome here as anyone else

 

[aneurysm]

It was because you said "I knew it :p" in response to someone's failed attempt.
I use dark humor all the time, even about my own situation, but it's not humor born from joy, I really am in excruciating pain and if I really attempted to CTB-but failed or couldn't manage it- that wouldn't be amusing in the slightest to me.
It doesn't really even make sense as a joke to be honest, but hey, I've made jokes that are no less unfitting.
You're not an anomaly, don't worry yourself sick over it.
I believe compassion fatigue and restrictions on expression of thought have nothing to do with this situation.

To be safe, I think you should maybe reserve most of that for the off-topic threads, some of which have plenty of joking and meme-ing going on, even in regards to the serious topic at hand.
Also, in cases such as this, I think it's best to wait for direction from the OP, if they start to poke fun at their own situation, then and only then, would it be understandable to follow their lead.
But in the thread where I already responded to you about this, I don't think the OP was going in that direction. Sometimes we fail to read the room, you're not the only one guilty of this. I know how it feels to have the finger pointed at you for one miss-step.
It's okay if you messed up and made a statement or a joke that fell on deaf ears. You can still edit your comment within a certain amount of time (I think that's what some of us were waiting for you to do), and personally, I had already forgotten about this before you brought it up again.
I would not hold it against you.

As far as people siding with certain members over you because they are "more loved by the community"...We all started off with zero reactions, and honestly, some people put a lot of effort into their posts and don't get nearly as high of a reaction score as those who shit post. You can't even see the score anymore without clicking on the username (at least on mobile), nor can you discern it from the previous color coding for post count (we can all choose any color now). So I assure you, plenty of people are not on the side of those with a higher reaction score. In fact, some of those people probably get the ignore button slammed on them over those who are less prolific posters.

Thank you for taking the time to address this. I understand your perspective. To be honest, I made this post because this is not the first time I feel like this. It's a recurring feeling and so that's why I wanted to discuss this particular post. It's the overall feeling that I can't be myself. It's of course not a big deal, I just thought this could make an interesting opportunity to talk and understand others perspective. To me, it's not that serious, just wanted to talk about it :).

I honestly appreciate everyone here, including you. But sometimes, I also find you fucking annoying. It's normal, just part of life. I just wanted to express something that was weighting on me a bit

 

[Makko]

I kept seing that person's thread about killing himself by guns and another person was talking about getting hit by a train. But from experience, people who make this type of thread never end up doing it and keep on creating more threads about even more gore methods (someone talked about putting his dick in a cake...).

Wait, the @StateOfMind tiramisu topic wasn't a joke? It was documenting a serious suicide method? We need a megathread.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Only one of my jokes I feel was regrettable. But I have received some complaints from people that want to have an anxiety-ridden, depressive hellscape of a forum.

 

[aneurysm]

@GenesAndEnvironment you following me after this post is everything xD

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

@GenesAndEnvironment you following me after this post is everything xD

Joker squad

 

[PrettyMoose]

Some of these high reaction scores, like mine, are from goofing off in chat a lot with other regulars and we like each other's comments a bunch sometimes to the point of absurdity. So it doesn't necessarily mean that someone is well respected across the entire site. Even if it did mean that, appeal to popularity is a logical fallacy anyway. Just because something/someone is popular doesn't mean it is right or correct. That's just my little side comment to all of this.

 

[signifying nothing]

I kept seing that person's thread about killing himself by guns and another person was talking about getting hit by a train. But from experience, people who make this type of thread never end up doing it and keep on creating more threads about even more gore methods (someone talked about putting his dick in a cake...).

that was the context. But I understand that it might not be obvious to everyone.

I think that on this site you probably need to allow them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Mentalmick]

Someone jumping of a building shouting "so long suckers" is going to be funny no matter what their perspective.

 

[StateOfMind]

I totally agree with you.
you're right, there kind of is a context, but I guess I was the only one to know it.

I kept seing that person's thread about killing himself by guns and another person was talking about getting hit by a train. But from experience, people who make this type of thread never end up doing it and keep on creating more threads about even more gore methods (someone talked about putting his dick in a cake...).

that was the context. But I understand that it might not be obvious to everyone.

At least put a link if you're gonna reference my dick in a cake lol

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ng-to-stick-my-dick-into-this-tiramisu.59882/

 

[aneurysm]

Someone jumping of a building shouting "so long suckers" is going to be funny no matter what their perspective.

I don't get it cuz I have the perspective of someone with a bad English, so you're wrong :p

At least put a link if you're gonna reference my dick in a cake lol

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ng-to-stick-my-dick-into-this-tiramisu.59882/

ah, here you are. You weirdo
lol

 

[Brick In The Wall]

This subject is not a new one here. As a good rule of thumb I try not to joke around in the main Suicide Discussion sub. Unless the thread is either absurdly ridiculous or warrants it. Anywhere else on the forum is fair play if you ask me.

 

[Gonjoolie]

Joking around with people you don't personally know, especially about suicide, can be a very fine line. Some people are very fine with any jokes at their expense while others can't handle it. I personally wouldn't be able to handle jokes at my expense from what is essentially a stranger. It's basically just right time and right place kind of thing. I'm fine with my best friends joking about suicide and death, but not people I barely know ya feel me?

 

[Makko]

This subject is not a new one here. As a good rule of thumb I try not to joke around in the main Suicide Discussion sub. Unless the thread is either absurdly ridiculous or warrants it. Anywhere else on the forum is fair play if you ask me.

Is it strange that I find the most "jokeable" content nowhere but in Suicide Discussion?

 

[Life_and_Death]

as someone thats had to deal with a lot of bs and trolling comments, i can understand why some people might not want humor on their threads.

 

[aneurysm]

Joking around with people you don't personally know, especially about suicide, can be a very fine line. Some people are very fine with any jokes at their expense while others can't handle it. I personally wouldn't be able to handle jokes at my expense from what is essentially a stranger. It's basically just right time and right place kind of thing. I'm fine with my best friends joking about suicide and death, but not people I barely know ya feel me?

Yeah, I get it but. Like, I don't joke with everyone to be honest. There are some people that I feel like it's okay with. You can get a feel of someone's mentality from his posts and you can also feel an alchemy with someone (from a combination of factors) even if his is anonymous on a forum. I mostly trust myself to know when there is someone I can joke with or can't (thought I accept my judgement might be flawed sometimes).
For example, someone can make a racist joke to someone else on a forum, and people on the forum can get mad. But if it turns out that the person making the joke is black, of racism himself, and intimately understand the experience, then that person is talking from a "special" place that makes it okay and that makes the joke welcome (it might not be a good example tho).

for example, there are a lot of people here that I would feel uncomfortable joking with. Despite them being anonymous. And there are people I feel comfortable joking with. Even if they anonymous, even if I don't know them personally. The brain has it's way of sorting people out even on a forum and my main point was that it wasn't the place of third parties to intervene, especially when the person I was talking to initially didn't say anything

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Is it strange that I find the most "jokeable" content nowhere but in Suicide Discussion?

I wouldn't say it's strange, not much passes for strange around here

 

[aneurysm]

as someone thats had to deal with a lot of bs and trolling comments, i can understand why some people might not want humor on their threads.

Nobody ever told me my jokes were offensive. I can sense when someone is gonna be offended by my joke. However, some people reply for others and get offended on behalf of others. that's when things get confusing. I also do not joke with everyone, only with some people.

Is it strange that I find the most "jokeable" content nowhere but in Suicide Discussion?

same :(

 

[LastFlowers]

Thank you for taking the time to address this. I understand your perspective. To be honest, I made this post because this is not the first time I feel like this. It's a recurring feeling and so that's why I wanted to discuss this particular post. It's the overall feeling that I can't be myself. It's of course not a big deal, I just thought this could make an interesting opportunity to talk and understand others perspective. To me, it's not that serious, just wanted to talk about it :).

I honestly appreciate everyone here, including you. But sometimes, I also find you fucking annoying. It's normal, just part of life. I just wanted to express something that was weighting on me a bit

Understood, and no problem...maybe just don't end it with saying you find me "fucking annoying" lol
I don't think I've really said anything to deserve that. I don't think we have interacted enough to come to that conclusion on either side. And yes, I see that it was weighing on you, I didn't want you to worry yourself silly for something a lot of us are guilty of at one time or another (even if it's not exactly the same type of comment). I hope you were able to get it all out, I think you were able to express yourself a lot more in this post than in the joke that started it all. So clearly, you can be yourself, this post and you opening a discussion about it is good.
Sorry if you have felt this way prior to the thread I, as well as others, first replied to you on.

 

[aneurysm]

end it with saying you find me "fucking annoying" lol
I don't think I've really said anything to deserve that. I don't think we have interacted enough to come to that conclusion on either side

By "you" I meant people here in general, not just you haha. that's why english sucks, in French, we have plural you and singular you so it's clear

 

[Mm80]

As long as you know in your heart that you mean no harm you should keep with it imo.humour for many people myself included is a coping mechanism. Use your judgement for the mood of the thread and joke where possible. It often lightens the mood and ive noticed on here that just below the surface so many on here have really good sense of humours x

 

[LastFlowers]

By "you" I meant people here in general, not just you haha. that's why english sucks, in French, we have plural you and singular you so it's clear

Lol I was wondering if that might be the case, but I didn't want to let myself off the hook that easy! :D

 

[aneurysm]

As long as you know in your heart that you mean no harm you should keep with it imo.humour for many people myself included is a coping mechanism. Use your judgement for the mood of the thread and joke where possible. It often lightens the mood and ive noticed on here that just below the surface so many on here have really good sense of humours x

amen.