ForestLove
Jus wanna be a tree
- Oct 16, 2018
- 236
I came back from a failed OD attempt.
I was hospitalised for 4 days.
Vomited non-stop for 1 full day.
My husband told my family about it.
My parents visited me everyday and I was surprised they were non-judgemental at all.
They told me not to worry and they will take good care of me.
Had a good chat with the medical social worker for 2 days. I even made her cry. She seriously hoped I dun take my life again.
1 day post-discharge, I woke up brawling my eyes out. My parents came and visit me and cook porridge for me. They stayed with me for 5hrs. Told me not to worry. I was feeling "happy" for this short moment.
After they went back, I cried uncontrollably for few hours. Still feeling very suicidal and guilt.
Sent many texts to my husband wanting to go. He thought i have recovered after the hospital stay. He became depressed. It affects him too much until his boss asked him to take a break from work. He was very disappointed that we are back to square 1 again. I have given him no hopes again. Shouldn't have told him my wish.
I'm a lost cause.
I lost myself, again.
I dunno what to do with my Life anymore.
I wanna be happy.
But it seems like I cannot be happy anymore.
Yesterday was our 14th year Anniversary.
Should I let him go and kms OR stay with him even though I'm a lost cause?
To love is to let him go....
I was hospitalised for 4 days.
Vomited non-stop for 1 full day.
My husband told my family about it.
My parents visited me everyday and I was surprised they were non-judgemental at all.
They told me not to worry and they will take good care of me.
Had a good chat with the medical social worker for 2 days. I even made her cry. She seriously hoped I dun take my life again.
1 day post-discharge, I woke up brawling my eyes out. My parents came and visit me and cook porridge for me. They stayed with me for 5hrs. Told me not to worry. I was feeling "happy" for this short moment.
After they went back, I cried uncontrollably for few hours. Still feeling very suicidal and guilt.
Sent many texts to my husband wanting to go. He thought i have recovered after the hospital stay. He became depressed. It affects him too much until his boss asked him to take a break from work. He was very disappointed that we are back to square 1 again. I have given him no hopes again. Shouldn't have told him my wish.
I'm a lost cause.
I lost myself, again.
I dunno what to do with my Life anymore.
I wanna be happy.
But it seems like I cannot be happy anymore.
Yesterday was our 14th year Anniversary.
Should I let him go and kms OR stay with him even though I'm a lost cause?
To love is to let him go....
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