HeartThatFeeds
Fixed in one determined flash
- Aug 19, 2023
- 101
Just ordered my SN from DMC and the payment is sure to go through in about 10 minutes, honestly I feel nothing. I had felt excited to finally die up until now but now I just feel empty, I'm not sure what I'll even tell my parents what I bought when it arrives, just some stupid lie so they won't worry.
I don't even feel suicidal right now, I did about half an hour ago but now I just feel sad. My partner passed away two months ago and day after day I just learn more things about him that he kept from me, it make me feel disgusted within myself and everything just hurts much more, at first I just wanted to be with him again, or if the afterlife doesn't exist at least feel peace but now I just hope to be gone from existence entirely, the worst thing for me right now would be an afterlife.
I'm tired of everyone, I feel constantly let down and unlovable, I don't think I could ever be happy again even if I tried. The thing that hurts the most is I still love him despite everything, I'm still grieving him like I did before. I understand why he felt that way he felt but it still hurts to hear the truth.
I'm just glad this will be over soon.
I don't even feel suicidal right now, I did about half an hour ago but now I just feel sad. My partner passed away two months ago and day after day I just learn more things about him that he kept from me, it make me feel disgusted within myself and everything just hurts much more, at first I just wanted to be with him again, or if the afterlife doesn't exist at least feel peace but now I just hope to be gone from existence entirely, the worst thing for me right now would be an afterlife.
I'm tired of everyone, I feel constantly let down and unlovable, I don't think I could ever be happy again even if I tried. The thing that hurts the most is I still love him despite everything, I'm still grieving him like I did before. I understand why he felt that way he felt but it still hurts to hear the truth.
I'm just glad this will be over soon.