Story Knowing When You’re Too Far Gone

[almaranthine]

It's looking at old pictures of yourself, feeling pure heartbreak for that young person whom you cannot even recognize as part of you any longer, feeling inherently responsible for his/her miserable downfall- that person could have been okay if he/she hadn't turned into you.

You can't feel pity for yourself, because you hate yourself, for good reason... you made terrible fucking choices, but you feel so bad for that person in that photo. They could have turned out alright.

Worse, if and when you do kill yourself, your friends and family will feel that they lost the version of you long gone, and they will mourn that ghost instead of the person you really were.

 

[Overnoutofhere]

Having experienced death of my spouse and others, people tend to only see the great and the best of the person who died. I think this is because we really love that person and it's the best of the times that made them who they were it's not the last or the worst.

 

[faust]

"Worse, if and when you do kill yourself, your friends and family will feel that they lost the version of you long gone, and they will mourn that ghost instead of the person you really were. "

That is so true! Even after a breakup we miss the people who they were but not who they are.
Or even worse - try to wait until the moment when a person will become who he used to be before, the thing that never happens.

 

[pole]

when you're so far gone that:

nothing effects or hurts you anymore, like it use to.

you're emotionally numb, emotionless and empty.

you're just numb. filled with emptiness and living a life of nothingness.

 

[Timetodie90]

It's looking at old pictures of yourself, feeling pure heartbreak for that young person whom you cannot even recognize as part of you any longer, feeling inherently responsible for his/her miserable downfall- that person could have been okay if he/she hadn't turned into you.

You can't feel pity for yourself, because you hate yourself, for good reason... you made terrible fucking choices, but you feel so bad for that person in that photo. They could have turned out alright.

Worse, if and when you do kill yourself, your friends and family will feel that they lost the version of you long gone, and they will mourn that ghost instead of the person you really were.

I can so relate to this post.

 

[Brink]

It's looking at old pictures of yourself, feeling pure heartbreak for that young person whom you cannot even recognize as part of you any longer, feeling inherently responsible for his/her miserable downfall- that person could have been okay if he/she hadn't turned into you.

You can't feel pity for yourself, because you hate yourself, for good reason... you made terrible fucking choices, but you feel so bad for that person in that photo. They could have turned out alright.

Worse, if and when you do kill yourself, your friends and family will feel that they lost the version of you long gone, and they will mourn that ghost instead of the person you really were.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Very well said. I recently looked at some old pics of me and it breaks my heart because the woman in the pics has been dead for years now. Who I was, my hopes and dreams all dead. I cried looking at the pics because I was so innocent and had no idea of the horrors that would happen just a few years later. When I die people will be mourning a ghost of me...who I was.

 

[Mr2005]

It's looking at old pictures of yourself, feeling pure heartbreak for that young person whom you cannot even recognize as part of you any longer, feeling inherently responsible for his/her miserable downfall- that person could have been okay if he/she hadn't turned into you.

You can't feel pity for yourself, because you hate yourself, for good reason... you made terrible fucking choices, but you feel so bad for that person in that photo. They could have turned out alright.

Worse, if and when you do kill yourself, your friends and family will feel that they lost the version of you long gone, and they will mourn that ghost instead of the person you really were.

It's different for me. That twat ruined my life. It's still incredibly difficult to look back on because he didn't realise how good he had it

 

[I screwed up]

Every thing the OP said struck a chord. Got tears in my eyes as it automatically got me thinking of the possibilities I had open and how I managed to screw them every single time

 

[a_strange_day]

I used to feel like that and couldn't stand it, so I erased all the pictures of myself and deleted every vestige of my online/offline existence. Nothing left. Honestly it's really not any better, that ghost is still haunting me.

 

[almaranthine]

I used to feel like that and couldn't stand it, so I erased all the pictures of myself and deleted every vestige of my online/offline existence. Nothing left. Honestly it's really not any better, that ghost is still haunting me.

Even without photos to remind you, it's easy to catch a glimpse of them behind your eyes in a mirror reflection... that ghost is still trapped inside you with nowhere to go.

It's different for me. That twat ruined my life. It's still incredibly difficult to look back on because he didn't realise how good he had it

Stupid bitch ruined my life too, but I still like her more than my current self.