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Ko9

Ko9

Student
Jun 30, 2019
159
I think I should leave this forum since last night I broke my current self hate complex. Over the last months I was taking this complex apart but I feel very empty now but also revealed. Like how I broke through a wall or a plastic bag that just emptied all the water inside. I just talked to a person who I will not name and I trusted and said and admitted everything I fucked up for 2 hours while crying. My self hate is mostly gone now, I am just very empty. I do not know if it will return and I will keep this account and it might come back but I think I just saved my own life by doing what I did. I felt the need to share this, I am not saying talk to someone and everything will be okay, I think confessing everything can maybe help for people who are fortunate enough. So I am going to leave this forum, not delete the account like I said. I wish so many people on here the best, if that is recovery or if that is ending it is not for me to decide, suicide is a fundamental human right after all. Maybe nobody cares but thanks for all the love. -Ko9
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Best of luck with trying to move forward with your life, I hope it all works out for you.
 
MissNietzsche

MissNietzsche

Specialist
Aug 1, 2019
343
Teach us HOW
 
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Ko9

Ko9

Student
Jun 30, 2019
159
Teach us HOW
(Sorry I just wanted to lurk if anyone saw what I posted.
What I did is trying my fucking hardest to find the exact core on why I used to fucking hate myself.
After that just find someone who you can trust and loves you and know for a while.
Just say everything, if you're suicidal you don't have much to lose, so just throw everything on the table.
After that, have something to eat, have something to drink and if the dust settles and it worked you'll know.
This works for me, I ain't a self help dude this costed much effort even to find why I hated myself.
I hope this works for you as well.
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
Good for you! It's always encouraging to see someone break a vicious circle. I desperately hope that I will be able to do the same thing, but I don't know how.
 

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