Last week.....

[Markyv]

Long time watcher, first time poster.

In the last 9 weeks my life has been turned upside down. My wife of 15 years and best friend for 22 years has gone from needing space because i was too needy, caused by depression, to full put divorce and war over our girls who I've looked after whilst she climbed the corperate ladder.
My depression had been partly caused by her, trying to support her whilst I held down a full time teaching job. So i checked out by pension and life insurance, they would both payout on death, and i sourced sn and the various drugs to help.

So i dissolved the sn into some water, phoned her and drank as much as i could. She phoned an ambulance, and then everything goes blurry. I found out i was close, 63% of my haemoglobin were converted, 70% is fatal. The antidote is methylene blue, which made my piss and puke blue. 2 days in hospital in high dependency and i can say no damage done.

I still am depressed but somehow life is going to go on. It made me realise its a bit like when you leave a job, you think the world is going to stop if you go, but it won't, the world is going to keep turning.
I'm going to get better, i am going to be stronger, because f*** it, i've got another swing at life and i am going to take it.

 

[Subhuman]

I'm very happy for you and I wish you all the best going forward :)

 

[Soul]

I'm glad no longterm harm was done and wish you good things.

 

[LittleJem]

Pleased for you - and your precious girls - that you're hanging in there.

Hope you don't mind me asking, how was the SN? Did it hurt?

 

[Markyv]

Pleased for you - and your precious girls - that you're hanging in there.

Hope you don't mind me asking, how was the SN? Did it hurt?

No it didnt hurt as such, but my pulse spiked approx 140. Very confusing and i panicked, that was the worse bit. I assumed I would just get light headed and passout. I know i was only out when they 'knocked' me out briefly in hospital. Being that close to death has changed me so much. I woke up the next morning feeling like the narator at the end of fight club, when Tyler has gone.

 

[1234dave]

No it didnt hurt as such, but my pulse spiked approx 140. Very confusing and i panicked, that was the worse bit. I assumed I would just get light headed and passout. I know i was only out when they 'knocked' me out briefly in hospital. Being that close to death has changed me so much. I woke up the next morning feeling like the narator at the end of fight club, when Tyler has gone.

Did you not pass out before the ambulance came?

 

[Markyv]

Did you not pass out before the ambulance came?

No, was about 20 mins i think. Panic was unbearable though as was fully aware of what was going on.

 

[1234dave]

No, was about 20 mins i think. Panic was unbearable though as was fully aware of what was going on.

Did you take anti emetics?

 

[Roger]

No, was about 20 mins i think. Panic was unbearable though as was fully aware of what was going on.

Fully aware ? Not trying to catch you out, but didn't you say earlier that "everything went blurry" ?

Have you any idea what dosage you took ? As you don't say how much you prepared, and that you only drank "as much as I could.

Really sorry if this comes across like a cross examination, but your experience and its fine details are of great significance to many of us here. so thanks in advance.

 

[Markyv]

Fully aware ? Not trying to catch you out, but didn't you say earlier that "everything went blurry" ?

Have you any idea what dosage you took ? As you don't say how much you prepared, and that you only drank "as much as I could.

Really sorry if this comes across like a cross examination, but your experience and its fine details are of great significance to many of us here. so thanks in advance.

Absolutely no problem.
So you know background, have chemistry degree and 20 years teaching science.

Didnt weigh out sn, but guess from previous use about 20g. Dissolved it in a 3/4 pint of water and drank about 3/4 which tasted like sea water. So probably consumed 15g ish (i threw the rest of it away 2 days leter) My phone log tells me this was about 17:25, aborted 999 call at 17:38. Redialled wife who then called ambulance. This was when panic set in, watch measured pulse at 140. Remember bits of ambulance ride, i only live 1 mile from hospital and then being in resus. Had 5 canulas put in and dont rememebr any, including one in to artery.

Did you not pass out before the ambulance came?

No, live too close to hospital and had a failed attempt to suffocate so they were quick.

Did you take anti emetics?

OTC ones, but they are dopomine blockers, vomiting in ambulance but not as much as i had drank.