Help Leaving partners

[Breadbfra]

Anyone here leaving partners?
I was just wondering what to do. I've been slowly pushing my girlfriend away and told her repeatedly to find someone else and replace me but it's a bit hard you know.
I want to have her prepared but don't know how.
Thanks.

 

[Forveleth]

That is honestly the worst thing to do to someone. I had a boyfriend do this to me once and I just wish he would have cut me loose. I did not understand why he was suddenly being so distant and I thought I was doing something wrong in the relationship. I was puzzled and felt bad for weeks until he finally just came out with it and broke up with me.

Pushing her away will not make her more "prepared". I have seen a lot of interviews from loved ones left behind after a suicide. Many times they will say something like "they had started being so distant lately, I should have known." It is not going to make her feel better, if anything it might make her feel worse as she could blame herself for not reaching out to you when you clearly were struggling.

If you truly want her to move on without you, cut her loose and let her move on.

 

[Breadbfra]

That is honestly the worst thing to do to someone. I had a boyfriend do this to me once and I just wish he would have cut me loose. I did not understand why he was suddenly being so distant and I thought I was doing something wrong in the relationship. I was puzzled and felt bad for weeks until he finally just came out with it and broke up with me.

Pushing her away will not make her more "prepared". I have seen a lot of interviews from loved ones left behind after a suicide. Many times they will say something like "they had started being so distant lately, I should have known." It is not going to make her feel better, if anything it might make her feel worse as she could blame herself for not reaching out to you when you clearly were struggling.

If you truly want her to move on without you, cut her loose and let her move on.

Should i straight up break up with her?

 

[Forveleth]

Should i straight up break up with her?

I am going to phrase this another way. Being an asshole to her in order to soften the blow of your suicide does not actually work. So, you either treat her right, up until the point you kill yourself, or you break up with her and let her find happiness elsewhere. Right now you are keeping her in relationship limbo which is not a nice thing to do.

I can not tell you which choice to make as it is your relationship, not mine. I am just telling you as someone who was the one being pushed away, I really wish he would have had the courtesy to just end it.

 

[3ngel]

im sorry for this question... why are u breaking up with her? is there any specific reason?

 

[encore]

best thing you can do is be honest. completely honest. unless it sabotages your plans, in which case, be as honest as you can without putting yourself at risk.

losing a partner to suicide is bad enough, it's even worse when you feel lied to/pushed away/like you could've done more if only you saw through it in addition to grief.

 

[Pipsqueak!]

You should probably just break up with her, I honestly think pushing her away would do the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish.

 

[Subhumano]

Ive never had a partner