Let's chat

[CutePrincess]

I need to chat with someone pro-choice. I need to open up to someone who wouldn't dismisse my feeling with their pro-life views. I'm currently at the mental hospital I'm planning on doing sn method when I get out. I was supposed to leave today but I told the psychologist that I'm suicadal and they decided to keep me. I think about lieing to them that I'm no longer suicadal so I can spend my birthday with my family and some time after that cbt in hotel room so my family wouldn't suffer additional trauma by finding the body. I'm not someone who is in a crisis and want to end life because of it. I struggle with mental health for years and it got worse despite attending group therapy. I couldn't hold a job longer then a month or finish university due to my mental health. I'm supposed to start attending group therapy again after living hospital. It's annoying that people try to convince me that I am able to work and will be cured despite years of life proving otherwise. My mom seems to be in denial about me being suicada despite dealing with my previous attempts and believe everything will be fine after therapy. I'm afraid she will be broken by my cbt by I can't live for her. I told the psychologist at mental to talk with her and adapt her to the though that I may live. I don't know how it will go on one hand I want to be open to my family that I'm going to unalive myslef to prapare then for this on the other I'm afraid the may somehow stop me. My father kinda understands me because he's schizophrenic and also suicadal but it's not like he will support my decision. I don't have hope that I will be cured and living like that is hell, I'm at mental hospital like 6th times and I'm only 22 living like that is hell. I want to share my journey with someone and get support in my decision.

 

[58Alice85]

If you keep using the forum you should be able to use the chat. Im only using it for a little while and i can use it.
I dont think you will find anyone with antisuicide opinions here.

 

[boondoon]

Your mother is probably trying to convince herself that things aren't as bad as they feel, but it could help to be brutally honest with her about how you're feeling. You don't have to tell her about wanting to end your life yet, but you could share how empty or dead you feel inside, something she might not have fully realized (somehow). Whatever choice you make, i really hope you find peace.

 

[CutePrincess]

It's hard. My family is very supportive but it feels delusional to me. Like they hope that therapy (my mother) or religion (my father) could cure me but I think they invest in the lost cose. I just realised there's no point in trying anymore. I think I would be a burden to them if I keep living and still will have mental health issues and be financially dependent. I was homeless for some time. I'm tired of that live.