Story Life hugs me but death calls me

[theboy]

I spent 3 days looking down from the 25th floor. On the terrace, I saw the gray buildings while I went up and down from the railing. My vision was clouded by nerves. I sighed and went ahead with the plan. The blindfold, the music in my ears and the heart beating like a needle in a sewing machine.
This does not end here.
Since I couldn't jump, I decided to put a bag on my head tied around my neck. After a couple of minutes, I started to get desperate and took out the bag due to the lack of oxygen.
It started this week, and only the mental pressures continue to mount. I can not stop thinking. I feel a lot of energy of happiness from time to time and then a great sadness comes down on me. My appetite is strange. I have not slept a lot. Sometimes I even think I lose touch with reality. Sometimes I say to myself! Live, you can! And other times! Better not, give up!

I hope not to disturb with my mini story
Thank you for reading! a virtual hug

 

[Hiraeth Grimoire]

Hugs to you also fellow sufferer. I am sorry life has brought you enough misery to end up here. Jumping sounds terrifying. I hope that you are able to find peace shortly in whatever you end up deciding

 

[theboy]

Hugs to you also fellow sufferer. I am sorry life has brought you enough misery to end up here. Jumping sounds terrifying. I hope that you are able to find peace shortly in whatever you end up deciding

Thanks! I hope you find peace too

 

[FuneralCry]

Dying really is so difficult. I doubt that I would ever be able to ctb by jumping as that method sounds so scary, but I do envy those who have the courage. Those gone are lucky as they cannot suffer anymore. I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from what you are going through, it really is such a cruel existence. Best wishes.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I am sorry for your torment

 

[rationaltake]

Hello. I'm sorry you're torn like this. I hope you can resolve things. You seem artistic - poetic. So up and down! Do you feel you have possibilities?

 

[notlongnow]

Dare I ask have you seeked medical prognosis? Sounds almost like bipolar disorder. A roller-coaster of a ride

Worth investigating as im sure you know when high and positive you have a lot to be grateful for! Remember that

 

[theboy]

Dare I ask have you seeked medical prognosis? Sounds almost like bipolar disorder. A roller-coaster of a ride

Worth investigating as im sure you know when high and positive you have a lot to be grateful for! Remember that

I try to stay conscious as best I can since the pills I take make me groggy. I was almost diagnosed with that once but no conclusion was reached. I have a medical diagnosis but I feel that there is "something more" sometimes I am excited to die or to do an activity and then I fall into sadness. Sometimes I briefly lose touch with reality and it scares me. I have some irrational anxieties that I haven't been able to get out.
I guess another diagnosis wouldn't hurt.
Thank you for your words of support, friend.

Hello. I'm sorry you're torn like this. I hope you can resolve things. You seem artistic - poetic. So up and down! Do you feel you have possibilities?

oh thanks for the compliment
Do you mean chances of recovery or CTB?

 

[notlongnow]

I try to stay conscious as best I can since the pills I take make me groggy. I was almost diagnosed with that once but no conclusion was reached. I have a medical diagnosis but I feel that there is "something more" sometimes I am excited to die or to do an activity and then I fall into sadness. Sometimes I briefly lose touch with reality and it scares me. I have some irrational anxieties that I haven't been able to get out.
I guess another diagnosis wouldn't hurt.
Thank you for your words of support, friend.

oh thanks for the compliment
Do you mean chances of recovery or CTB?

Sounds like a real struggle. Sending you strength amigo