Story Life is just a lot.

[LivingANDDying26]

Did a lot today on limited energy bc no sleep but just feel. Tired tbh. Too much to do and limited energy and resources. The usual. Just feel so alone.

Anyway... im too tired to write much tbh. Needa eat and just rest for a bit. Starting to feel a lil suicidal but gonna jus eat and rest for now.

Would like to go buy incense but too tired but shall see. Sighs. My life feels so... I dunno too much survival mode shit anyway... Anxiety med kicking in so needa eat now. Shall maybe update later but yeah im sad rn.

 

[thechamp]

Good lord treat yourself to some sleep (same goes for me ) God Bless

 

[Ferret77]

I know exactly how you feel....
Lately, everything is just more and more exhausting, even getting out of bed in the morning seems like an impossible task.
I only have a few friends, since I have severe social anxiety and any human interaction is scary and draining. But I feel lonely isolating at home, so I don't really know what to do, it seems like I can't win.
Anyways....Please try to take care of yourself in the capacity you are able to now. Small steps are important....
Wishing you good luck!

 

[LivingANDDying26]

Ate and feelin a lil better but very like deflated... wanna get a cat in general but especially times like this...

Even in.my deflated state im tryna book my eye exam.. Ik pacing ones self is important but Im not always like this well and stufff sooo.... I just go into survival mode bc gotta get it done.

Ugh my therapy bill is so high and I don't even wanna share it with my friend even tho she said she'd pay I just.... I hate myself tbh. I wish I could work. URGHH.


Def feelin a lil suicidal.

Something I did today was start mapping out some stuff regarding my suicidality. Like causes and then gonna start working on the solutions and stuff...

One of my biggest triggers is dealing with life without enough support/ the supports I need. But that's not... something that always has any solution.


But alas... still trying..and just gonna try to relax for rest of evening. Gonna work on gofundme post with brother soon. To make it shorter/better so people actually donate bc rn it's long without a tldr... If anyone even cares to donate bc rn its lookin pretty bleak.

But shall keep tryin till I can't so. Sighs.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I

Did a lot today on limited energy bc no sleep but just feel. Tired tbh. Too much to do and limited energy and resources. The usual. Just feel so alone.

Anyway... im too tired to write much tbh. Needa eat and just rest for a bit. Starting to feel a lil suicidal but gonna jus eat and rest for now.

Would like to go buy incense but too tired but shall see. Sighs. My life feels so... I dunno too much survival mode shit anyway... Anxiety med kicking in so needa eat now. Shall maybe update later but yeah im sad rn

Living in survival mode is all I have done for years now.
Yet the ironic thing is that I don't even want to survive.