Story Life is so hard...but I’m pushing forward

[Inferdan]

Life is hard :/ I'm doing a course in university (not an actual course, it's the equivalent of secondary education, and I'm doing it because the material and classmates I feel is much better than high-school), I'm keeping my life in check, noticing the change from the life of an independent teen into the in-between of that and adulthood, and it's putting a lot of pressure on me. I'm making my way forward and doing what I can to pull myself to do things; life won't give up however. The reality of everything continues to push me down, alongside doubts and the tendrils and traces of my recent low point and close call (lucky I even got out of there), and ugh, it makes everything difficult. I'm dealing with it ok, but it's rising as falling steadily and constantly, and I'm hoping it's just me, but it's rising a tiny bit higher each time.

Don't worry, I won't let it get to me as easily as last time. I managed to get out, and I plan on doing something with myself, for me and everyone else, so I'm fighting it back again. Despite all the pain and horrible reality of the world and the people in it, the sweet, cool beckoning of death can wait. I've got some things I'd rather do first.

I'll win this stupid game of life, if it's the last thing I do.

 

[Sensei]

It's always inspirational to read your posts. I can tell that you really struggle, but you never surrender. I'm sure your determination and perseverance are going to pay off in the end.

It pisses me off to no end that we have to play this game of life instead of focusing on just living, which is difficult enough, but I guess it's the price we have to pay for being alive.

 

[Inferdan]

I feel touched. To be inspirational? That's amazing. I'm glad you find it to be that way. Hopefully it does pay off, I'm putting a lot into this :p

Being alive will always bring discomfort. The world as it is today, however, is twisted and corrupted in such a way that it's a lot more than just that. We live with what we have, and do our best to make it at least worthwhile. It's a tedious balance, however, with not two, not three, not four ends, but many, and if one tips, things get very difficult. Life is hard and painful, but for me, I'm just keeping my eyes on the small things that matter, and the hope I manage to become someone who can change everything for the better in whatever way I can...

God, it's late, sorry if something here makes no sense :/
Also, most of this applies for me, so it may or may not work for others...hope it does help somehow.

 

[Sensei]

Words of truth. I wonder if life has to be as painful as it is, though. What it all comes down to is the prevailing mindset in society. There's too much consumption and narcissism and too little contemplation and compassion. Far from all problems stem from this, but it sure as hell doesn't help when you struggle. This, in turn, all comes down to the fact the people don't know how to raise their children anymore.

Sorry, I'm probably derailing your thread now. It was just a thought.

 

[Inferdan]

No, no, that's alright :) I'm glad you shared your thoughts. I'm completely agree with you. With how everything is set up, right down to poor parenting and raising in the ways of what's right and wrong, people develop a mindset that makes anyone who isn't the same "weird", and therefore inferior in a sense. I understand what you mean, and again, completely agree with it.

Another thing are the mothers and fathers who give devices to kids tv shows to distract them and keep them quiet. That messes with them in so many ways...

 

[Sensei]

Yes, I believe we're creating a dysfunctional generation with this new technology. I can sort of understand parents who give their children iPads, though, as they get occupied and stay silent. Lazy, but effective.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Education is a real battle when you're struggling; I am trying to get my A levels and go to uni but it is hurting me trying to live. You're doing a good job being able to take on a mentally challenging task while already under pressure. Keep it up boyo.