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C

ChangeWaiter

Member
Oct 23, 2023
50
Tldr: there are time frames that serve as a proof that normal life experience is possible. Do you also have them sometimes despite being very suicidal otherwise?

I just went to a few hours of trial work and you know what, I felt almost normal, although the entire day before i was super suicidal again and actively researched methods. It feels unfair, it tells me that under the right conditions i don't even have much to complain about y mental illness. It's only when I do nothing or otherwise super underutilized, that I go down a hole. There is this glimpse of hope, once I'm able to restructure my life all together and have a little bit of luck along the way, I could actually live a normal life. It seems very far fetched though, so many things need to change one by one, who knows how long is it going to take. I only know one thing : with the right environment, like a proper job that doesn't give me anxieties, it's possible.
 
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Reactions: milquetoast, penguinl0v3s, Abandoned Character and 1 other person
Ksmиda

Ksmиda

Have I died too soon or lived too long?
Oct 23, 2023
187
Do you also have them sometimes despite being very suicidal otherwise?
Yes, it's one of the best feelings ever, it gives me hope that I can complete my goals in life.
 
Abandoned Character

Abandoned Character

(he./him)
Mar 24, 2023
269
Like all things, the feelings come and go. Recovery for me is getting used to that flow, and trying to maintain the positive ebbs moreso than the negative. It is unfortunate that many users here see recovery as a binary choice they failed to achieve and therefore feel doomed to an lifetime of suffering. Recovery is not one thing. We can all access these moments that you describe, only if we are receptive.