The Lotto Machine beeps. There is over DKK 5,000 on the piece of paper the clerk hands me. My heart is pounding. Could it be 7 right numbers ? DKK 7,000,000? Almost 1,000,000 euros. I am told to contact the game provider. I'm shaking. Goes to the cold counter and takes a pint of golden beer and goes up to the till again. Says I probably have something I need to check. The clerk smiles. I go out in the car. Turn off the radio. There must be complete silence. Drive to the water. Sitting in the car. Checking the numbers nervously. The probability has never been higher. The truth if it is not right. There are 7 correct ones. DKK 7,000,000 Looking out over the water. Sitting in my own thoughts. Damn, this is beyond the wildest imagination. Checking one more time. Once more. It doesn't make it any less true if I check several times. Have won. I remember that for God's sake (or Satan's sake), I must take good care of that piece of paper. I know I'm busy now. Without stress of course. Overjoyed to have life again. And also a bit nervous. It can go wrong. But I know it's will not. It is a decision you make yourself. I know I have to be careful. And should keep it a secret. But should I choose life back, now that I have the opportunity, it will be obvious from the outside. Fortunately, I'm in a different place mentally than I was 5 years ago. Only money could fix my situation. Now I have the money to live on, rather than commit suicide. Drive home to try to sleep. A restless night's sleep.
Going to work the next day. Everything seems to fly. Like drugs or love. The little bumps that may hit me, I see as indifference. Calls the game provider. Know which bank I should talk to and we will arrange a meeting.
DKK 200,000 in advance ticks in the following days. It's starting to feel real, despite everything feeling sickly realistic. Will be careful not to tell about it to fast. Get it out slowly, instead of advertising it too much. Looking at the account one more time. It is good enough. Now I just have to put cold water in my blood. Starting with paying off all my debts. Sending "a little" money to my sister who get in and out of psychiatry. Tell her I won't tell anything now and it will be best if she doesn't talk about it out loud. Quickly got the last 2 teeth pulled out, as the dentist wanted. Ha ha
Been to the counsellor. Have created new accounts in the bank I want. Where the remaining DKK 6,800,000 must be deposited. A few other accounts with some other banks. Make sure to divide the fortune up a bit in the first place. Of course, I've been out to pamper myself a little. New clothes. Not expensive clothes, but the same style as I usually wear. A climbing rope too. I've had suicidal thoughts for 25 years, so it feels a bit like extra security. Now the truth that I am a millionaire. Now action is needed to fix my life.
I am fully aware that I have to bite into many sour apples. And if it wasn't because I had 2-3 months notice, I would have waited a bit with what I have done now. Had a talk with my boss. Narcissist yes. But know that I won't be working there anymore. Only have to work for myself, the six months after I have stopped at my workplace. Tells it like it is. Is driven to death in my work . Has a far too long notice. So now is the time. Of course he asks what I want with my life. Says a little discreetly that my childhood was probably not the best because of my father. They knew each other. Discreetly tells him that my life will change significantly and asks if he won't stop talking too loudly. People will probably find out when a new employee is being sought. Could walk away from the workplace. But don't want to burn any more bridges. In the worst case scenario, it's nice to be able to come back. This time it is on my terms, otherwise I can live a few years without work in the worst case. By now people are beginning to be able to sense that something has happened. I'm in a good mood and it takes a lot to ruin me now. The first sour apple has been taken care of.
My car needs a renovation. Don't know if I can bear to part with it. Do what I can do myself. And for a mechanic for the rest. Could of course start by buying the Volvo xc 60 I own in the future. It will have to wait. Discretion, discretion, discretion. People have probably figured it out by now. I keep a lot to myself, as I have already done in recent years. However, had decided in advance to buy a very cheap used car with towbar. Will probably have to use it for a maximum of a year, because I know I will be driving a lot with a trailer for the next time. Don't want to wear out my dear Opel Astra for that. Got a friend to help pick it up. It has to be him exactly. Still not saying anything directly. "I need an extra car", I laugh at him.
Going out to buy a 750 kg trailer. As it is the maximum for my driving licence. Must have the trailer driver's license, but that will have to wait. Have to prioritize. Gotta get started on something most important. It's been about a week now. Cleaning out my old home. The last money is on its way soon. Need to think about a new home. But first I have to have a chat with a friend. Something to do with a woman.
Calls him and asks if he wants to go out and drink a few beers on a drive. Only two. Yes, you can drive on 2 beers. Have determined the route in advance. Saying it like it is, without saying too much, I've been feeling really bad for a long time. Not that he could probably figure it out. I was completely in the coal cellar. Without telling about my previous suicide plans. Maybe he knows. Then tell him my old self is coming back. However, in a much improved version. We drive past 3 houses I could potentially like. Although I have already decided which one I want. Talking about the houses when we drive by, and cheekily asking him if I shouldn't buy it. "Think the bank gives the green light for it."
But to get to the most important part of this drive, I'll tell him about December 25 last year. Where she, the lovely woman I've known for a long time, asked if she could come home with me, while we were holding each other in the middle of the street at night. And I just went my way because I couldn't take her home. Tells about this summer when me and him were out to get some beers. Where we stood on the street at 5 in the morning waiting for a lift. Him my mate would stay back. She was also standing outside. I didn't even dare to look at her. Didn't even dare to ask if she wanted a ride home. I made it really awkward for myself again. Just running away from someone I'm in love with. Damn it hurts inside. It still does as a millionaire. But now I can work towards a better life and one day run into her again. Third time is a charm. Tell her I need to have a talk with her. Say sorry 1000 times for being an idiot. Explain to her a bit wrapped up why I've fucked up the last two times we met. And tell her that I am in a different place in my life, than the last time we saw each other. Yes, she must have heard about that by then. Tell her I really like her. Assessing her. Assessing whether it is wise to tell her that I love her. Who knows what it leads to? Just coming out and being honest about how I feel.
Yes speaking out about her, with my mate in the car. He might be able to give some information about the status of what she thought of me that night.
We drive past the last house. Tell him that I intend to buy it. And that we will probably soon have a party again in that particular house. Cook. Watch a movie. Just like the old days. Soon my old self will be back, I say. With a nice house. Customize with extensions. And an okay reason. Don't need more.
Buying the house and just waiting to move in. Some time passes. Had a friend out to look at it. He has a farm and butcher shop with his father. I also take him out for a drive, and we have a very long talk. Tell him as the first that I suddenly have a lot of money in my hands. Not directly but he understands. He has some sense of economics, and offers some good advice. Says he doesn't need to say it to anyone directly. Although we know that people have probably calculated it
Then there is the worst problem I have solved. That's the reason I found this forum. Yes, it kind of came naturally. Him my "nemesis" or whatever you want to call him now, asked a lot of questions. Told him that now it was getting close that we had to have an important talk. He is a narcissist. So, of course, deep down he probably didn't want to be an accomplice. I explained how it was. That we are together on this. Its also his fault. And we must have a solution to the problem, without more talk in town than absolutely necessary. Had a few tricks up his sleeve. If he thought it was entirely my fault, I would have told him how the country lays. Said that if I were to be pressured into suicide because he wanted to give me a bad name, it would probably backfire on him. That I could quickly donate the money away so that he was in the same situation as before. Was willing to lie about buying a sawn off shotgun and would rip my head off if he tried anything. And I would probably have to make sure that he was the one who had nightmares about my splattered head. Of course, I don't have any sawed-off shotguns. And luckily, that threat wasn't necessary. But it was a relief to have more cards in hand. Even more of a relief that we solved the problem. Fuck the cost. Have plenty left.
In the run up to having to move into my new home, I had enough to look after. Should help my health. Talk to some people who understand people. Understanding of mental disorders. Didn't have much free time. A job that had to be taken care of. Houses to be bought for letting. Won enough to buy houses to rent out. They don't cost much where I live. Fixed the easiest ones first, to get them rented out, so that there was more income. Earn enough to pay the fixed expenses.
Stopped smoking what can be smoked. Stopped drinking for over a month. Both for the sake of health, but also to be clear in the head. No drinking in the nightlife until I could move into my new house. Drove many kilometers during that period.
Ordered a new bed. Couch. So it was ready for when I had to take over the house. Had rented a garage and storage space temporarily. Filled my old trailer with the tools I was missing and there was room for. Filled the storage room with cookware and other necessities. So I didn't have to spend time on it when I got the keys to the house.
Got the keys to the house. Spent all my free time in the following days decorating my new home. Buy the last furniture. Some also used. With a little help of course. Started getting visits from my friends again. Started cooking again. Something I hadn't had the money for in 3 years.
I finally stopped working at my workplace. Still had a few houses to fix. Got my teeth fixed. Wanted to finish decorating my outbuildings. Workshop with lift and banquet hall. Was good with my plans.
Now is the time. Take a week off. Of course do some small projects. Have fun with family and friends. And now it's time to bump into her my crush. Fortunately, I talk well with her brother, before in time. And now again. Hes a good guy. That maybe an advantage. Met her by chance in town. Maybe with a little help from an friend so I know she's there. I'm sure she'll forgive me. If I play my cards right. Ask if I can talk to her privately. Apologize. Explain why I was so cold to her. Sorry I was an idiot. Here a year after I fucked it up the first time. See her reaction. Tell her what I feel.
I feel good now. The old traumas never go away. But have my life under control now. Can handle the old traumas. Soon it will be time to find a good job. You have to keep going. It's so amazing. Delicious.
"Everyone can be bribed. Otherwise we wouldn't be living in this sick world the way we do. I never talk about 'conspiracy theories' anymore. It can be dangerous. If they feel you are a threat they will kill you. A hundred wish-blowers could sign that, if they were still among us. They have won. The elite. Just want to enjoy the last time on the sinking ship with youre all. Without having to look over my shoulder every time I take a step. Enjoy that we are among the last generations with freedom before they take the last of our freedom. Let them have their way. Have a thought that they press the nuclear bomb button if they are pressed. Just a thought. But they have won. I have won. Will pretend I know nothing and just enjoy it. Yes, maybe I sounds
selfish. But we have no other options."
Going to work the next day. Everything seems to fly. Like drugs or love. The little bumps that may hit me, I see as indifference. Calls the game provider. Know which bank I should talk to and we will arrange a meeting.
DKK 200,000 in advance ticks in the following days. It's starting to feel real, despite everything feeling sickly realistic. Will be careful not to tell about it to fast. Get it out slowly, instead of advertising it too much. Looking at the account one more time. It is good enough. Now I just have to put cold water in my blood. Starting with paying off all my debts. Sending "a little" money to my sister who get in and out of psychiatry. Tell her I won't tell anything now and it will be best if she doesn't talk about it out loud. Quickly got the last 2 teeth pulled out, as the dentist wanted. Ha ha
Been to the counsellor. Have created new accounts in the bank I want. Where the remaining DKK 6,800,000 must be deposited. A few other accounts with some other banks. Make sure to divide the fortune up a bit in the first place. Of course, I've been out to pamper myself a little. New clothes. Not expensive clothes, but the same style as I usually wear. A climbing rope too. I've had suicidal thoughts for 25 years, so it feels a bit like extra security. Now the truth that I am a millionaire. Now action is needed to fix my life.
I am fully aware that I have to bite into many sour apples. And if it wasn't because I had 2-3 months notice, I would have waited a bit with what I have done now. Had a talk with my boss. Narcissist yes. But know that I won't be working there anymore. Only have to work for myself, the six months after I have stopped at my workplace. Tells it like it is. Is driven to death in my work . Has a far too long notice. So now is the time. Of course he asks what I want with my life. Says a little discreetly that my childhood was probably not the best because of my father. They knew each other. Discreetly tells him that my life will change significantly and asks if he won't stop talking too loudly. People will probably find out when a new employee is being sought. Could walk away from the workplace. But don't want to burn any more bridges. In the worst case scenario, it's nice to be able to come back. This time it is on my terms, otherwise I can live a few years without work in the worst case. By now people are beginning to be able to sense that something has happened. I'm in a good mood and it takes a lot to ruin me now. The first sour apple has been taken care of.
My car needs a renovation. Don't know if I can bear to part with it. Do what I can do myself. And for a mechanic for the rest. Could of course start by buying the Volvo xc 60 I own in the future. It will have to wait. Discretion, discretion, discretion. People have probably figured it out by now. I keep a lot to myself, as I have already done in recent years. However, had decided in advance to buy a very cheap used car with towbar. Will probably have to use it for a maximum of a year, because I know I will be driving a lot with a trailer for the next time. Don't want to wear out my dear Opel Astra for that. Got a friend to help pick it up. It has to be him exactly. Still not saying anything directly. "I need an extra car", I laugh at him.
Going out to buy a 750 kg trailer. As it is the maximum for my driving licence. Must have the trailer driver's license, but that will have to wait. Have to prioritize. Gotta get started on something most important. It's been about a week now. Cleaning out my old home. The last money is on its way soon. Need to think about a new home. But first I have to have a chat with a friend. Something to do with a woman.
Calls him and asks if he wants to go out and drink a few beers on a drive. Only two. Yes, you can drive on 2 beers. Have determined the route in advance. Saying it like it is, without saying too much, I've been feeling really bad for a long time. Not that he could probably figure it out. I was completely in the coal cellar. Without telling about my previous suicide plans. Maybe he knows. Then tell him my old self is coming back. However, in a much improved version. We drive past 3 houses I could potentially like. Although I have already decided which one I want. Talking about the houses when we drive by, and cheekily asking him if I shouldn't buy it. "Think the bank gives the green light for it."
But to get to the most important part of this drive, I'll tell him about December 25 last year. Where she, the lovely woman I've known for a long time, asked if she could come home with me, while we were holding each other in the middle of the street at night. And I just went my way because I couldn't take her home. Tells about this summer when me and him were out to get some beers. Where we stood on the street at 5 in the morning waiting for a lift. Him my mate would stay back. She was also standing outside. I didn't even dare to look at her. Didn't even dare to ask if she wanted a ride home. I made it really awkward for myself again. Just running away from someone I'm in love with. Damn it hurts inside. It still does as a millionaire. But now I can work towards a better life and one day run into her again. Third time is a charm. Tell her I need to have a talk with her. Say sorry 1000 times for being an idiot. Explain to her a bit wrapped up why I've fucked up the last two times we met. And tell her that I am in a different place in my life, than the last time we saw each other. Yes, she must have heard about that by then. Tell her I really like her. Assessing her. Assessing whether it is wise to tell her that I love her. Who knows what it leads to? Just coming out and being honest about how I feel.
Yes speaking out about her, with my mate in the car. He might be able to give some information about the status of what she thought of me that night.
We drive past the last house. Tell him that I intend to buy it. And that we will probably soon have a party again in that particular house. Cook. Watch a movie. Just like the old days. Soon my old self will be back, I say. With a nice house. Customize with extensions. And an okay reason. Don't need more.
Buying the house and just waiting to move in. Some time passes. Had a friend out to look at it. He has a farm and butcher shop with his father. I also take him out for a drive, and we have a very long talk. Tell him as the first that I suddenly have a lot of money in my hands. Not directly but he understands. He has some sense of economics, and offers some good advice. Says he doesn't need to say it to anyone directly. Although we know that people have probably calculated it
Then there is the worst problem I have solved. That's the reason I found this forum. Yes, it kind of came naturally. Him my "nemesis" or whatever you want to call him now, asked a lot of questions. Told him that now it was getting close that we had to have an important talk. He is a narcissist. So, of course, deep down he probably didn't want to be an accomplice. I explained how it was. That we are together on this. Its also his fault. And we must have a solution to the problem, without more talk in town than absolutely necessary. Had a few tricks up his sleeve. If he thought it was entirely my fault, I would have told him how the country lays. Said that if I were to be pressured into suicide because he wanted to give me a bad name, it would probably backfire on him. That I could quickly donate the money away so that he was in the same situation as before. Was willing to lie about buying a sawn off shotgun and would rip my head off if he tried anything. And I would probably have to make sure that he was the one who had nightmares about my splattered head. Of course, I don't have any sawed-off shotguns. And luckily, that threat wasn't necessary. But it was a relief to have more cards in hand. Even more of a relief that we solved the problem. Fuck the cost. Have plenty left.
In the run up to having to move into my new home, I had enough to look after. Should help my health. Talk to some people who understand people. Understanding of mental disorders. Didn't have much free time. A job that had to be taken care of. Houses to be bought for letting. Won enough to buy houses to rent out. They don't cost much where I live. Fixed the easiest ones first, to get them rented out, so that there was more income. Earn enough to pay the fixed expenses.
Stopped smoking what can be smoked. Stopped drinking for over a month. Both for the sake of health, but also to be clear in the head. No drinking in the nightlife until I could move into my new house. Drove many kilometers during that period.
Ordered a new bed. Couch. So it was ready for when I had to take over the house. Had rented a garage and storage space temporarily. Filled my old trailer with the tools I was missing and there was room for. Filled the storage room with cookware and other necessities. So I didn't have to spend time on it when I got the keys to the house.
Got the keys to the house. Spent all my free time in the following days decorating my new home. Buy the last furniture. Some also used. With a little help of course. Started getting visits from my friends again. Started cooking again. Something I hadn't had the money for in 3 years.
I finally stopped working at my workplace. Still had a few houses to fix. Got my teeth fixed. Wanted to finish decorating my outbuildings. Workshop with lift and banquet hall. Was good with my plans.
Now is the time. Take a week off. Of course do some small projects. Have fun with family and friends. And now it's time to bump into her my crush. Fortunately, I talk well with her brother, before in time. And now again. Hes a good guy. That maybe an advantage. Met her by chance in town. Maybe with a little help from an friend so I know she's there. I'm sure she'll forgive me. If I play my cards right. Ask if I can talk to her privately. Apologize. Explain why I was so cold to her. Sorry I was an idiot. Here a year after I fucked it up the first time. See her reaction. Tell her what I feel.
I feel good now. The old traumas never go away. But have my life under control now. Can handle the old traumas. Soon it will be time to find a good job. You have to keep going. It's so amazing. Delicious.
"Everyone can be bribed. Otherwise we wouldn't be living in this sick world the way we do. I never talk about 'conspiracy theories' anymore. It can be dangerous. If they feel you are a threat they will kill you. A hundred wish-blowers could sign that, if they were still among us. They have won. The elite. Just want to enjoy the last time on the sinking ship with youre all. Without having to look over my shoulder every time I take a step. Enjoy that we are among the last generations with freedom before they take the last of our freedom. Let them have their way. Have a thought that they press the nuclear bomb button if they are pressed. Just a thought. But they have won. I have won. Will pretend I know nothing and just enjoy it. Yes, maybe I sounds
selfish. But we have no other options."
