We already talk about stuff like a relationship. She signals me pretty strongly that she wants that. The only problem I have with her is that our needs for interactions are very imbalanced. But I think I will give this relationship a chance. I hope she will do the same.
We had 3 dates thus far, yesterday we phoned for the fourth time. We consider to meet her for the fourth date at her home. We have not kissed thus far. I am a little bit shy and inexperienced. Yesterday I admitted to her that I never was in a relationship thus far. I am in my mid/end twenties. She was a little bit stunned. Is this a good sign? She seemingly did not suspect it. I have hidden it well. She knows I texted with a lot of women with sexual traumata and that the connection I had with these women was sort of relationship like. It gave me at least somewhat of experience. I asked her whether that's a problem for her (that I never was in one). And she told me no. She was in foreign country for vacation for six week straight recently. And she told me she will be pretty busy the next weeks. I emphasized to her that I really want to see her again after such a long break. And I told her it does not have to at her home. I don't want to pressure her in this instance
I think one thing she likes about me that I never pressured her to have sex with me. I know her from a dating app. And from what I have read this is a common behavior from men on those sides. But we come to a point where she wants intimacy and this makes me nervous. I hope I can deliver. I once had a boner because of her and I think she noticed that and she had no problem with it. It was so hot and we lied next to each other. Yes this should not qualify as enough for getting a boner but it seems like I am severely touch depraved. I am pretty scared to get hypomanic when we get intimate.
Things that I already admitted: (sort of chronolically)
I have a mental illness and have to take a break of college because of it. I told her that I was in a daycare clinic
She had no problem with it and told me it is good that I am reaching out for help. She seems be very tolerant and that's defnitly something positive.
I told her I have bipolar disorder. Some weeks ago. And that I am scared to get hypomanic if we get close.
Yesterday I told her I never was in a relationship
Things I have to admit yet: Which order will depend on what will happen if I get paranoid I will have to tell her I had psychosis
I had psychosis and struggle sometimes with paranoia. I even alluded to that once. I have a condition that leads to severe overthinking. This is what I told her.
I have to tell her that I struggle with suicidal thoughts.
I might never be able to work and maybe I cannot continue with college. I might play down the first fact a little bit.
What do you think about it?
We had 3 dates thus far, yesterday we phoned for the fourth time. We consider to meet her for the fourth date at her home. We have not kissed thus far. I am a little bit shy and inexperienced. Yesterday I admitted to her that I never was in a relationship thus far. I am in my mid/end twenties. She was a little bit stunned. Is this a good sign? She seemingly did not suspect it. I have hidden it well. She knows I texted with a lot of women with sexual traumata and that the connection I had with these women was sort of relationship like. It gave me at least somewhat of experience. I asked her whether that's a problem for her (that I never was in one). And she told me no. She was in foreign country for vacation for six week straight recently. And she told me she will be pretty busy the next weeks. I emphasized to her that I really want to see her again after such a long break. And I told her it does not have to at her home. I don't want to pressure her in this instance
I think one thing she likes about me that I never pressured her to have sex with me. I know her from a dating app. And from what I have read this is a common behavior from men on those sides. But we come to a point where she wants intimacy and this makes me nervous. I hope I can deliver. I once had a boner because of her and I think she noticed that and she had no problem with it. It was so hot and we lied next to each other. Yes this should not qualify as enough for getting a boner but it seems like I am severely touch depraved. I am pretty scared to get hypomanic when we get intimate.
Things that I already admitted: (sort of chronolically)
I have a mental illness and have to take a break of college because of it. I told her that I was in a daycare clinic
She had no problem with it and told me it is good that I am reaching out for help. She seems be very tolerant and that's defnitly something positive.
I told her I have bipolar disorder. Some weeks ago. And that I am scared to get hypomanic if we get close.
Yesterday I told her I never was in a relationship
Things I have to admit yet: Which order will depend on what will happen if I get paranoid I will have to tell her I had psychosis
I had psychosis and struggle sometimes with paranoia. I even alluded to that once. I have a condition that leads to severe overthinking. This is what I told her.
I have to tell her that I struggle with suicidal thoughts.
I might never be able to work and maybe I cannot continue with college. I might play down the first fact a little bit.
What do you think about it?
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