JustHere1
In a way, in a shape, in a form.
- Dec 21, 2024
- 126
I posted a message on the megathread almost two weeks ago but there is no activity there currently. I'm getting antsy and want to go and need verification so I would appreciate any responses here.
Same post but some edits since it was a while ago:
I don't have a car, nor any physical support whatsoever. I have an apartment that is paid for right now. I have severe progressive physical medical issues that prevent me from working or going many places. Currently I have my affairs in order, rehomed my animals, donated most of my things, and I'm running off my CC and remaining funds for survival, so this has become very dire for me to get right.
In April I purchased a Jericho 941RS and 9mm Luger WIN hollow-point bullets. I am fortunate an officer offered to drive me home back in April as I was ignorant to the fact that Ubers do not allow firearms to be transported, even unloaded.
I want to do this to end my suffering - this is a conscious and pre-planned decision that I was firm about beginning last year, but truly I've been considering it for over a decade. I am turning 28 this year. I want to make sure that I CTB in a way that eases my mind in regards to pain and length of time alive, especially, as best as I can.
I wanted to verify the strength of this gun - it is brand new from the gun store and I have never shot it. What is its strength and velocity / speed data compared to other recommended handguns? How does it compare to more popularly used handguns for CTB, such as S&Ws?
It is loaded with one bullet and three in the hold. I am comfortable holding and using it and nearly CTB'd (resting on my tongue straight on, safety off - you can see how far it was in via the mouth mark on the front, please feel free to let me know if that is an appropriate distance to avoid the top of the mouth interfering) a few days ago, though thankfully I stopped as I had the wrong angle - initially 45* in the mouth. Now I know the angle should be around 10-15*. Please feel free to correct me on this. I am very stable and do not have any concern about flinch, my concern is remaining alive for a few minutes in pain.
I am not willing to watch videos or see gore as this death is simply a transition to me to a better life - I don't want to carry that kind of grief on me. I do ask for suggestions on any angle I can do to improve my chances at success, as exact as possible for all information. As soon as I'm comfortable with the info, I will CTB.
Secondarily, I MAY have the ability to purchase another stronger type of firearm if necessary to ensure a more sure pain-free experience. I can't do long-guns (length too intimidating to compound with safety) but are there mid sized ones that have more strength and are reliable? I want to do this without going to a range. But I also need to find a way to have the gun transported. So any ideas on that would also be appreciated - if I can't find transportation for this it won't be possible to obtain a second firearm.
I have also considered going to a high point somewhere discreet and letting my body topple post-shot from momentum to ensure the finality of death in case I am still somehow conscious. Please let me know if there's any info about this kind of suicide that I should know about. I heard anything higher than 60ft should be successful (or likely to be such) on its own, but I'd like to verify this.
I have included pictures of my gun and bullet type for identification and if there is need to point anything out regarding it. Depth into mouth is something I'm not sure of. I'm looking for as thorough an explanation as possible. I've reviewed the megathread fully and these are my remaining questions.
Thank you!
Same post but some edits since it was a while ago:
I don't have a car, nor any physical support whatsoever. I have an apartment that is paid for right now. I have severe progressive physical medical issues that prevent me from working or going many places. Currently I have my affairs in order, rehomed my animals, donated most of my things, and I'm running off my CC and remaining funds for survival, so this has become very dire for me to get right.
In April I purchased a Jericho 941RS and 9mm Luger WIN hollow-point bullets. I am fortunate an officer offered to drive me home back in April as I was ignorant to the fact that Ubers do not allow firearms to be transported, even unloaded.
I want to do this to end my suffering - this is a conscious and pre-planned decision that I was firm about beginning last year, but truly I've been considering it for over a decade. I am turning 28 this year. I want to make sure that I CTB in a way that eases my mind in regards to pain and length of time alive, especially, as best as I can.
I wanted to verify the strength of this gun - it is brand new from the gun store and I have never shot it. What is its strength and velocity / speed data compared to other recommended handguns? How does it compare to more popularly used handguns for CTB, such as S&Ws?
It is loaded with one bullet and three in the hold. I am comfortable holding and using it and nearly CTB'd (resting on my tongue straight on, safety off - you can see how far it was in via the mouth mark on the front, please feel free to let me know if that is an appropriate distance to avoid the top of the mouth interfering) a few days ago, though thankfully I stopped as I had the wrong angle - initially 45* in the mouth. Now I know the angle should be around 10-15*. Please feel free to correct me on this. I am very stable and do not have any concern about flinch, my concern is remaining alive for a few minutes in pain.
I am not willing to watch videos or see gore as this death is simply a transition to me to a better life - I don't want to carry that kind of grief on me. I do ask for suggestions on any angle I can do to improve my chances at success, as exact as possible for all information. As soon as I'm comfortable with the info, I will CTB.
Secondarily, I MAY have the ability to purchase another stronger type of firearm if necessary to ensure a more sure pain-free experience. I can't do long-guns (length too intimidating to compound with safety) but are there mid sized ones that have more strength and are reliable? I want to do this without going to a range. But I also need to find a way to have the gun transported. So any ideas on that would also be appreciated - if I can't find transportation for this it won't be possible to obtain a second firearm.
I have also considered going to a high point somewhere discreet and letting my body topple post-shot from momentum to ensure the finality of death in case I am still somehow conscious. Please let me know if there's any info about this kind of suicide that I should know about. I heard anything higher than 60ft should be successful (or likely to be such) on its own, but I'd like to verify this.
I have included pictures of my gun and bullet type for identification and if there is need to point anything out regarding it. Depth into mouth is something I'm not sure of. I'm looking for as thorough an explanation as possible. I've reviewed the megathread fully and these are my remaining questions.
Thank you!
