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aespa

aespa

Member
Oct 23, 2024
51
I have been talking to a guy for about a year now, we are very close friends and we used to have mutual feelings for each other but never dated. he also liked another girl at the same time so he was struggling to choose. He eventually went with the other girl and distanced himself from all his friends including me, after some time and I tried to be supportive as much as I can, (he doesnt know i still like him) the girl broke up with him because she lost feelings after 3 months and he is heartbroken, which I would be too bc wtf. I want to give him time to heal of course but I'm scared he'll find somebody else and i'll lose my chance. at the end of the day it is his choice though so if he says no to me i wont be angry, but it might make things awkward. my feelings are all over the place at the moment and im not sure what to do especially because i chicken out easily when it comes to expressing my feelings. help? lol
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

In the Service of the Queen
Sep 19, 2023
1,900
It's been ~3 months since he knew you liked him? The only way he doesn't know there's still at least a little something is if he's thinking "man that girl was so bad for me I should've picked @aespa but now she probably doesn't even like me anymore!" The timeline of 1 year is not very long. If telling him feelings are still there would mess up the friendship it isn't that strong to begin with.

I always like a matter-of-fact approach when you are nervous. The temptation is to picture saying "oh, how I love you, you are the only one I could ever be with! I think about you all the time!" That is putting a lot of pressure on the situation. (Not making fun of anyone but myself. I'm overly romantic and that's how I think.)

Much better, imo, is to say something like "hey, I'm really sorry about what happened with ____, and I want you to have space, but I also want to let you know that when you're ready I'd like to ask you on a date." You can just go on a date without committing to a new relationship.
 
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aespa

aespa

Member
Oct 23, 2024
51
It's been ~3 months since he knew you liked him? The only way he doesn't know there's still at least a little something is if he's thinking "man that girl was so bad for me I should've picked @aespa but now she probably doesn't even like me anymore!" The timeline of 1 year is not very long. If telling him feelings are still there would mess up the friendship it isn't that strong to begin with.

I always like a matter-of-fact approach when you are nervous. The temptation is to picture saying "oh, how I love you, you are the only one I could ever be with! I think about you all the time!" That is putting a lot of pressure on the situation. (Not making fun of anyone but myself. I'm overly romantic and that's how I think.)

Much better, imo, is to say something like "hey, I'm really sorry about what happened with ____, and I want you to have space, but I also want to let you know that when you're ready I'd like to ask you on a date." You can just go on a date without committing to a new relationship.
Aaa ty I'm bad at wordings things right I appreciate it :)
 
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