Lowkey shocking how mean people are

[tonyspitstain]

Anyone else find it shocking how mean people are unprovoked? I guess I naively grew up not really thinking about people's motives which left me in several shitty situations. I realized as an adult that my mom did not have good intentions when she was raising me.
Being young, naive, and dependent on others makes you the easiest target and it's insane how people take advantage of that. Someone could just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and decide you are their target and bully you mercilessly and make you feel like a waste of space on this earth.
Even more so, it is scary to see domestic violence cases or murder suicide where a spouse will try to do everything for the perp and they still get brutally beaten, stabbed, shot, etc. And being the children in a murder suicide is even worse. When I think of things in that lens I feel like I'm def already in hell.

 

[yellowjester]

Yeah, kinda. But when you consider that the chimp is our closest relative in the animal kingdom, it is not all that surprising.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Anyone else find it shocking how mean people are unprovoked? I guess I naively grew up not really thinking about people's motives which left me in several shitty situations. I realized as an adult that my mom did not have good intentions when she was raising me.
Being young, naive, and dependent on others makes you the easiest target and it's insane how people take advantage of that. Someone could just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and decide you are their target and bully you mercilessly and make you feel like a waste of space on this earth.
Even more so, it is scary to see domestic violence cases or murder suicide where a spouse will try to do everything for the perp and they still get brutally beaten, stabbed, shot, etc. And being the children in a murder suicide is even worse. When I think of things in that lens I feel like I'm def already in hell.

Yes. But there are genuinely kind people also and whilst it's important to decide on your boundaries and stick to them, it's important to remember the people who are good, not the other people. That's my mission for today. Because until I became unwell, I didn't realise what amazing people there are in the world. Since my breakdown I've come across a few and I'm going to list them so if I'm in a dark place because of mean people, I can read my list of the better ones.

 

[tonyspitstain]

Yes. But there are genuinely kind people also and whilst it's important to decide on your boundaries and stick to them, it's important to remember the people who are good, not the other people. That's my mission for today. Because until I became unwell, I didn't realise what amazing people there are in the world. Since my breakdown I've come across a few and I'm going to list them so if I'm in a dark place because of mean people, I can read my list of the better ones.

That's true! I like to consider myself as one of them! I try to avoid low vibrational evil people as an adult but it's difficult to look around and realize it's everywhere

 

[L'absent]

Yes, it's not uncommon at all. I have examples everywhere. In life you have to learn to make space for yourself and be merciless like them, otherwise it's better to abandon.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I try to avoid low vibrational evil people as an adult but it's difficult to look around and realize it's everywhere

The thing is, there is no such thing as an "evil person". Even the nicest people out there can be guilty of doing horrible things. People are complex. Why we act the way we do can be as simple as waking up on the wrong side of bed or as complex as something that stems from a mixture of emotional trauma, neurological issues, group think, and other factors. Hell, most people will hurt others and not even realize it because they didn't view their actions as being that big of a deal in that moment.

Funnily enough, I can even use a post on here that actually highlights my point:

some1 anonymously wrote 'you're mean!!' once in my yearbook. so yes, i'm guessing i'd qualify as having bullied some1 severely if they bothered doing that. it was in middle school though, & i wasn't mean then bc i enjoyed itit was a defense mechanism i'd learned after being bullied my entire 6th grade year.

There's a good chance that even you have hurt people in ways that will stick with them for the rest of their lives without even realizing it. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if turns out that we have a tendency to unconsciously manipulate our memories in such a way that it makes us look better, especially in the case of those with high self-esteem, but that's something I would need to look into.

It also doesn't help that we tend to rationalize or justify our awful behaviour in order to preserve the image we have of ourselves (as is also demonstrated in the post I used as an example. This is also isn't to shit on this person as everyone is guilty of it). Sometimes, it feels like people tend to feel more guilty about the things that clearly aren't their fault compared to the things that they actually should feel guilty for.

Anyway, I guess my main point here is that people are complicated. Even the most "evil" of us have people out there who view them in a good light and usually have their own good aspects. Trying to avoid evil people is useless because evil people don't actually exist. It's an arbitrary label that can change depending on who you are talking to, what part of the world you are in, and what period of history you live in. You are essentially just trying to fight a losing battle.

 

[h78272]

reflecting on my past, i wonder what caused my mom to be so mean and abusive to me at such a young age, i was only a kid and id be beaten and yelled at over pointless things. i dont understand how someone can be so mean to a child. ive even had primary school teachers who had no chill, theyd yell at and insult me and my other classmates. i dont even deal with people in real life anymore, i think there are alot more mean people online since its easier to not have empathy or face any kind of consequence behind a screen.
and repeated bullying and harassment is so pointless. i dont understand why people will waste their time and energy on being mean to others they dont even like. i think alot of times when people are mean to others, its to uplift themselves and show off to everyone else. ive been in cases where id be picked on by someone within a group so that they could get the approval of others, its so lame. each time i recognize this kind of behavior going on, i call it out because its bad on their part and theyre faced with reflecting on their behavior that they didnt think people could catch on to. mean people are often insecure.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

A lot of people are looking to take their anger out on an easy target, or maybe just go after an easy target as part of a power trip. What's shocking to me is how easy it is for some of these people to get other people on board and convince them to hate on the target. There's a definitely mob mentality that's in vogue right now.

 

[alivebutnotliving]

I truly believe empathy is dead, not like it was ever "thriving" in the first place. it just was nice when huge numbers of people would come together disregarding background for one cause with so. much. passion. I wish we saw that more.

 

[ShatteredShards]

Anyone else find it shocking how mean people are unprovoked? I guess I naively grew up not really thinking about people's motives which left me in several shitty situations. I realized as an adult that my mom did not have good intentions when she was raising me.
Being young, naive, and dependent on others makes you the easiest target and it's insane how people take advantage of that. Someone could just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and decide you are their target and bully you mercilessly and make you feel like a waste of space on this earth.
Even more so, it is scary to see domestic violence cases or murder suicide where a spouse will try to do everything for the perp and they still get brutally beaten, stabbed, shot, etc. And being the children in a murder suicide is even worse. When I think of things in that lens I feel like I'm def already in hell.

Well, it's not very surprising if you really think about it. There's going to be a lot of people out in the world who are evil or retain such bad retain traits. Just like that pure light inside, we'll also always have that little dark spark sat in the pit of our 'souls' waiting to sap at the right time, it could be through anger or passion, by throwing an insult due to a personal belief, might be also be taking the something that wasn't theirs to begin with, even a small piece of food or taking attention away from someone is speaking, there's many ways it can manifest.

Though regardless of the severity, that evil inside us WILL creep out from time to time, it's just all a matter of how we handle it. People are capable of great things, as they are capable of horrific acts. Yeah, it's depressing to hear, see and experience. We can't control the world around us, but we can most certainly control how we go about responding.

 

[Cavalcade]

Yes, it's always pretty shocking when it comes out of the left field. I recently left a community after one user viciously attacked me, completely unprovoked- and the moderation action was wholly inadequate. The most disturbing thing was the realization that this user had developed a parasocial fixation and seething hatred for me, based off of my post history of literal years- we had never once spoken, but they lashed out and made it out to be as if I was personally attacking them by sheer virtue of... existing?

It really scared and baffled people proximal to the situation as well, so it wasn't a matter of my distorted perception: it was just vile, vehement, loathing for me as a person. It was kind of frightening to see how they had painted me out to be some monstrous freak who was going out of their way to deliberately hurt them, when I had again, never spoken to them, ever... I had gathered a little popularity in that circle, and some people posited it may have been due to jealousy, but it was really frightening.

What's really disappointing is some of the people I considered friends in the community wound up siding with allowing the person to barge into spaces I had helped co-create and facilitate, because 'they really liked the people there' and they didn't feel as if my safety was a valid concern. They felt it wasn't worth the disturbance of 'rocking the boat' and even after I had implemented measures to protect my safety, this person continually attacked me on and off platform, and tried to make it out as if I was the one being damaging or ostracizing, even with multiple third parties protesting that they didn't feel that how I had been treated was right, and that the situation was wildly getting out of hand.

It was kind of an eye opener into how it's not just people who decide to act badly that can be dangerous, but also cowards who choose to enable harassment and attacks because they don't want to 'rock the boat' and that if 'you speak about the problem, you are the problem- not the actual problem, because no one had a problem with it up until you spoke about it!' Like, ordinary, every day people, who I had thought and found to be perfectly nice- were totally willing to enable evil ass behaviour because they just... didn't feel like intervening, or saying anything. And it was easier to paint me as the villain, because if I just shut up and left, then no one would have to address the issue...

If it were only unprovoked meanness, that would be one thing. It was even more distressing to see how many people are willing to passively enable an unprovoked mean person, just for the sake of making things easier for themselves.