Story Maybe a month free of constant suicidal thoughts and being bedridden - thank you LSD

[LittleJem]

Dear all

First of all, thank you all for being here and being the wonderful community that you are. Thank you to Jean and Sensei for all your words of care and wisdom and the support you give others, and every single one of you who is being here with everyone on this forum.

I am not sure whether my time on this forum is over, because I have relapsed after things worked for me before. But I do want to report that I have been clear of constant suicidal thoughts (those of you who saw me on this forum know that I was on here all the time for days and months on end - as dying was all I could think about). I am able to get out of bed, brush my teeth, hair, walk down the road without exhaustion. I'm even having days without weed like today (and I was vaping all day, every day).

What happened was I took 450ug of LSD just before lockdown. I had read up on it extensively and knew it was a risk - as some people do have bad trips and long-term bad effects having read up on it. But I had a great experience. It was like my brain was cleared. I actually took it at home with my family in the house (as I'd been bedridden for two days and was so fed up). At the beginning of the LSD trip, I told my dad and his wife that I just wanted to die and end my suffering, and how much longer did I have to suffer for before they'd let me go. How many more pills did I have to try? I had not said this so clearly before, because I was so exhausted with the depression and agitation.

Then the day went on. For me, it wasn't visual (though I have had visual trips) though it was a bit like being in a computer game at first like you could imagine stars above peoples heads, animation, that kind of thing. I talked and talked all day, mainly to my (very patient!) boyfriend.

The next day, my dad's wife told me she'd heard me and gave me a notebook to write my will in. And I said, funny enough, I feel better.

Since then, my job has been going really well. I am cooking again (I love cooking, but with being bedridden and so miserable, had not been doing any), I can walk down the street without it being an effort. I am seeing London with fresh eyes.

I had one difficult weekend during my last period, where the suicidal thoughts came back, but incredibly, they went away again. This period now - has been relatively okay, a little low for a day, but nothing like last time. The difference is amazing.

I wanted to share this with you all because if you are at rock bottom, LSD is definitely worth investigating. It isn't suitable for everyone, so please do your research, but it has definitely saved my life for now. Likewise psilocybin, but I personally much prefer LSD.

Here are some articles on LSD for you - below.

I send all of you best wishes for recovery and am thinking of you all.

Jem

Cary Grant (film star) credits LSD with changing his life: https://www.theguardian.com/film/20...in-tinseltown-changed-my-life-lsd-documentary
LSD (and psilocybin) regrows brain cells in traumatised mice: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...y-lsd-dmt-amphetamines-ketamine-a8395511.html

Can magic mushrooms and LSD treat depression and anxiety? Scientists are optimistic.

When Marc Morgan tried lysergic acid diethylamide, better known as acid or LSD, for the first time as a teenager, he noticed that he could emotionally disconnect from traumatic memories of the sexual abuse he had suffered as a child.

medicalxpress.com

ps just noticed that I have posted so many times on here - I am a Wizard...so that shows how long I had been suffering for....

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I'm happy it helped you. If you don't mind answering a few questions:

1. Have you been suffering from classic major depression? Episodes of constant depression or more disthymic/ chronic depression?

2. Have you ever had bad experiences with Cannabis; paranoia, panic attacks, etc ?

3. Was this your first psychedelic trip?

4. Why LSD over Psilocybin?

 

[enjolras]

That's encouraging. Good for you. I just bought a course about microdosing LSD (and Psilocybin but LSD is recommended). The teacher from Holland in the videos seems in control of his personality but has a weird staring look, monotonous voice and appears sweaty. He falls into the drug abuser cliché ! ^^
The problem is to source unlawfully. Otherwise, it's a very affordable path if curing benefits are confirmed. Plus apparently on the very safe side compared to other ventures. Developing physical dependence is out of question, though a light psychological one could occur.
I'd like to educate myself at growing shrooms from spores. Any material info for novice welcomed.

 

[noaccount]

Nice. It seems like I'm somewhat a 'hardhead,' like several times a friend and I took the same dose of psychedelics and they got effects and I didn't.

But when I finally got a high enough dose to work on me, I'd say it seemed novel, not life-changing, mostly like a weird stimulant that let my body stay awake while my brain went to sleep and started dreaming. What I got just felt like what I'd experienced in dreams a thousand times before, but neat trick to be able to keep my eyes open during it and have the dream / external-reality overlaid on each other.

An aside, in those charts I wonder if the difference between powder and crack cocaine is just the difference in class/race status of the users, I don't think there's a huge difference in chemistry, but one is used by people who are more-policed, more-likely trauma survivors, less-likely to access healthcare.

Oh and did anyone else find that while they were on LSD it hurt to pee?

 

[I_love_to_bake]

The most dangerous part of all drugs is not the drugs themselves but the armed gangs fighting for control of the drugs. Whether those gangs are tax funded or not. Every dad in prison is another broken family.

 

[Fire&Ash]

Ok but where did you get it? Can you pm me? I feel like I need to get to this because I've tried 6 meds already

 

[LittleJem]

I'm happy it helped you. If you don't mind answering a few questions:

1. Have you been suffering from classic major depression? Episodes of constant depression or more disthymic/ chronic depression?

2. Have you ever had bad experiences with Cannabis; paranoia, panic attacks, etc ?

3. Was this your first psychedelic trip?

4. Why LSD over Psilocybin?

Hey, just saw the questions and gonna try and answer them:

1) I don't know what kind of depression I had. I still have it but it is currently still better than it was before the LSD. It was constant loud suicidal thoughts, misery, crying jags, agitation, anxiety then in the past few years (I'm in my 40s and suicidal thoughts for 20 years already) exhaustion, no appetite/upset tummy and bedridden. No pleasure in anything. I saw two psychiatrists but neither of them gave me a diagnosis. I did think maybe it was Bipolar Depression, but I don't have any diagnosis. I don't think they know that much.

2) For me, Cannabis is good to me. It's the only thing that has made life bearable. It eases my agitation and makes me think better. It has got me through bullying at work, years of depression.

3) I'd taken LSD before, the first time a half dose, then 150 ug maybe 10 times. It never helped my depression, just gave me a few hours off. When people said it was good for depression, I'd roll my eyes as it hadn't helped. That's why I raised the dose.

4)I have had one beautiful experience with mushrooms, then some that were freaky on synthetic psilocybin. Then when I took them more recently, I was trying to microdose, but they made me emotional like they were bringing up shame and grief from my marriage. I felt emotionally tortured by them. They also really upset my tummy. Saying that, since the LSD helped me, I took shrooms once and they were nice again. So maybe it was my depression in combination with them last time that was so horrible and I should give them another try. The unpleasant time on the shrooms was manageable and only for a few hours, but they also didn't help my depression. But I only tried the microdosing for a week. I give up quickly/the effect on my tummy was too unpleasant. I highly recommend trying microdosing. It seems very safe and low risk, and even though I didn't like it, it didn't make me worse.
You can buy magic truffles for microdosing online in Europe and get them shipped. There are legit websites as truffles are legal in Holland.

Im much better than I was (currently walking down street!) but still agitated and in a state today, so excuse me for writing at length.

We are all different, but the research in psilocybin and also microdosing is so promising. Have you tried it or are you thinking about it?

best wishes to you

Ok but where did you get it? Can you pm me? I feel like I need to get to this because I've tried 6 meds already

On the darknet, but via a tech friend. I hope to get on the darknet myself soon. In the meantime, in UK/Europe, look up magic truffles for microdosing. Legal in Holland and they ship discretely. Im happy to PM links to online shops if you PM me.