Story MDMA/Ketamine last weekend - helped for a week....(and beautiful experience)

[LittleJem]

This is as requested by @Secrets1 and also I would like to know anyone else's experience with MDMA for PTSD etc. It is in the process of being licensed by the DEA to treat PTSD, and is one of the only substances that can help both war veterans and rape survivors with PTSD. Here's an article on the topic: https://www.medicaldaily.com/could-mdma-be-cure-ptsd-and-depression-242571
And here are some anecdotes on Reddit:

TLDR:
Question 1: how often you can safely take a) Ketamine and b) MDMA.
Q2: MDMA can stop working for people - generally after how many times of use does MDMA stop working?
Positives: most beautiful, heart-opening experience. Seeing everything differently and in a more loving way. Understanding my boyfriend better after a row.
Negatives: none, wish it could last forever. I know some people get comedowns with MDMA, but I do not get them. No idea why.

Here is the longer story for anyone who wants to read more:

So last weekend, my depression wsa getting really horrendous again, and (after one day trying meth, never again cos I didn't like it that much and also don't want to get into it) the next day was snorting lines of Ketamine and MDMA. I don't know how many lines maybe 3 or 4 of each.

I began with the Ketamine, and went into a big exploration of my attitude to suffering. The suffering in the world profoundly upsets me, and I tend to focus on it too. On the Ketamine and in discussion with my sitter, I realised that I believed I could not be both happy and a good person because there is so much suffering in the world. My sitter guided me, and I agreed, that actually when I am suffering I am not able to do anyting to help the suffering in the world, and also that I do not need to suffer to be a good person. It felt like a breakthrough moment for me, like I was getting to the belief at the centre of my depression. Then I instinctively wanted to take MDMA, because for me this was all a spiritual experience, and I wanted to get into my heart with it, and find a way to return to love (yes I used to be a hippie).

I also had a sense that to go back into my childhood trauma while on MDMA and look at all my beliefs and memories would be really really helpful - so I definitely would like to take MDMA again and try this exploration. I'm not sure whether by itself or with Ketamine too - they feel like a powerful combination to me, but maybe by itself as it is used in PTSD therapy would be more strong or last longer, I don't know.

I was with my bf and the MDMA was really helpful as we started communicating much better. We had been stressing and rowing all day, and the MDMA made me see his point of view and also mine, and I understand him so much better now. It was so helpful.

In the past when I tried MDMA it did nothing for me, but this time it was sooo beautiful. It got into my heart and opened my heart, and I had a big journey in my mind about love. I truly felt that MDMA could change the world entire, and my heart and mind showed me how to live from a place of greater love. It was one of the top and most beautiful experiences of my life so far. I did then have a little DMT also at the end of the trip, but it did not have much effect - other than I decided to go back to therapy as my friend hsa recommended a particular type of therapy, to see if I can find compassion.

Anyway, it is now one week later and my depression came back this morning and I have been in tears and agitated all day. I wish that the afterglow from this beautiful trip had lasted longer.

I would like to work with both substances again, but don't want to damage my bladder with the Ketamine, and with the MDMA I would like to be able to use it forever! so don't want to use it too often. I am trying to find an every-day helper for my depression. I don't know if I will get so lucky, but that is the wish.

@Secrets1 I would recommend a normal dose and not a microdose though in any case. It is a very beautiful experience. Will you have a companion with you? I thikn I would also take it by myself, but it was great to have someone else with me.
Here is an article advising on frequency and doseage https://rollsafe.org/page/how-often-can-you-take-mdma-molly-ecstasy-and-roll/

 

[Quarky00]

This was lovely written. And I'm glad you've had that beautiful experience, being able to feel the pain -- with compassion
I wish you could hold on to that feeling of peace , maybe try to get yourself mentally back to that place (it's really hard).

In the past when I tried MDMA it did nothing for me, but this time it was sooo beautiful.

Maybe the addition of K helped. While MDMA is associated with love, Ketamine is associated with a reflective spiritual journey (as you wrote). MDMA being a stimulant could raise anxiety (if a person is inclined to) - so Ketamine being a sedative may help with that. It's quite a good idea actually..
But most of all it's YOU You focused or managed the direction with a certain goal, and processed things, with great company. That makes a difference.

It's really rare to read that here -- not many people come back after therapy or taking their meds with that sort of experience I really hope this will work. A week is actually long for something (one session/dosage) to be that effective..So I'm hopeful.

 

[MsMaudlin]

The world would be a nicer place if everyone took MDMA all the time ❤

 

[LittleJem]

The world would be a nicer place if everyone took MDMA all the time ❤

If only everyone could! That there was no tolerance or side effects to take it all the time!

I did have an inkling to practice heartmath meditation when I was on the MDMA. I've heard of it but not tried it - so gonna look it up now
I was just reading about a few places in USA with Ketamine assisted psychotherapy. Not in my country, but hopeful stuff.

 

[chrijo]

The world would be a nicer place if everyone took MDMA all the time ❤

Agree.

I have never been so happy and satisfied as I was on MDMA. I even got scared of the overwhelming euphoria and warm feeling - like my first true love...

...and music sounds so damn good on MDMA :D

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I think I inadvertently did this in my twenties and was arguably less depressed. Except after the weekend I slept until Wednesday. I only had to get through Weds and Thurs to repeat the cycle.

 

[Secrets1]

Thank you sooooo much LittleJem, awesome!!!! I love how you broke all that down. Kudos to you for stepping outside the box I'm glad + encouraged it was a good experience.

I would take it solo with my dogs but someone would be on standby. The only thing I'm worried about after reading is excessive neuroexcitation in combination with my TBI that could cause more damage. Don't know if I could handle more than a micro dose because of this. Interestingly enough if I was rolling during my accident it would have protected my brain from damage in a big way but that changes as the brain readjusts after the trauma.

The mdma plan is now on hold though... this morning I sporadically saw a specialist in TBI for the 1st time, it was unlike any other doctor I've discussed the brain with. I am hesitant to take extra prescriptions but agreed to depakote which is already helping + it makes sense why. We are also doing some cool neuro imaging techniques that will tell more about the state of my brain + what I'm able to do. Am super excited to get those back and will bring up the mdma to get his thoughts during my next appointment. Am a little less desperate for the time being.

on Netflix Goop's 1st episode is about therapeutic administration of mdma + mushrooms. It just came out, I think you find some of the other topics interesting too. If you have any future experiences and want to share I'd love to read about it. Thank you

 

[terry_a_davis]

Mdma is indeed a fantastic drug. But the unique magical experience of it will eventually greatly reduce and it arguably damages you if abused. I liked it so much i became addicted to it and took it many times over several years. I'd still recommend it as long as you have the willpower to only take it very infrequently.

 

[L-L]

Anyone got any information on the effect of MDMA with Venlafaxine?

I know that the pre-synaptic receptor sites have a higher affinity for traditional SSRIs than it does MDMA meaning the effects are 'muted', but I've not come across anything regarding the interaction with MDMA if anyone would care to share.

In the past when I was just taking Citalopram I could not take it for a few days prior to rolling but I don't think I'm going to be able to do this with Venlafaxine due to the discontinuation syndrome.

 

[LittleJem]

Anyone got any information on the effect of MDMA with Venlafaxine?

I know that the pre-synaptic receptor sites have a higher affinity for traditional SSRIs than it does MDMA meaning the effects are 'muted', but I've not come across anything regarding the interaction with MDMA if anyone would care to share.

In the past when I was just taking Citalopram I could not take it for a few days prior to rolling but I don't think I'm going to be able to do this with Venlafaxine due to the discontinuation syndrome.

could be worth looking on Erowid/Bluelight. helpful for trip reports. I don't know myself about the combo.

 

[SettOne1994]

mdma withdrawal is a road to hell trip if u cant manage it

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

Anyone got any information on the effect of MDMA with Venlafaxine?

I know that the pre-synaptic receptor sites have a higher affinity for traditional SSRIs than it does MDMA meaning the effects are 'muted', but I've not come across anything regarding the interaction with MDMA if anyone would care to share.

In the past when I was just taking Citalopram I could not take it for a few days prior to rolling but I don't think I'm going to be able to do this with Venlafaxine due to the discontinuation syndrome.

Hi, I would check out serotonin syndrome. I think taking an anti d thats an ssri with mdma can be dangerous. I know effexor is similar to an ssri but idk enough abt it. Demerol, an opiate oddly enough is also a drug that can raise serotonin. I remember reading that somewhere.

 

[L-L]

Hi, I would check out serotonin syndrome. I think taking an anti d thats an ssri with mdma can be dangerous. I know effexor is similar to an ssri but idk enough abt it. Demerol, an opiate oddly enough is also a drug that can raise serotonin. I remember reading that somewhere.

I did a bit of research on this when I was on Citalopram, which is a traditional SSRI. It's a risk, but a relatively low risk from what I can see.

 

[Pink Magic Archon]

I have no experience with MDMA or true hallucinogens, but I have done medical ketamine treatment for treating depression, both IV and nasal. The latter was with Spravato, which is a new prescription ketamine specifically approved for treatment-resistant depression.

It didn't help. If anything, it made things worse. The trips were very, very pleasant. Medical grade ketamine on an IV drip is a crazy experience even if you're familiar with K holes; I was in another (and very wonderful) universe for what felt like months, but the "spiritual" component of the trips just made me feel even more nihilistic and that life really is completely pointless and devoid of meaning.

But that was just me. IV ketamine and nasal have about a 70% and 40% response rate, respectively, and, for those whom it works, it might as well be a cure for their depression. If your insurance will cover Spravato, I highly recommend trying it for that reason. Just don't be surprised if you're the 60%. Spravato can be very expensive, even with insurance, so I can't recommend it if you have any significant copay given those odds.

 

[FrailPaleStaleMaleSS]

I've never used either as a remedy for anything but I hear there's research going into it. For me ket has always been a student drug. Students were the biggest customers for me tbh. They practically lived off the stuff. It does its job though. MD was probably their second or third favourite food but the market for that was more varied anyway. Feels good apart from the odd crash

 

[Sayo]

Negatives: none, wish it could last forever. I know some people get comedowns with MDMA, but I do not get them. No idea why.

Do you find yourself actively sad it doesn't last?

Thank you for sharing, by the way.

 

[Arnar]

I got extremely pissed at my self on MDMA and self harmed. I think its because you become 100% honest with yourself, honest about how much you suck too.

 

[LittleJem]

It's only worked for me once. Last time I took it, it did nothing for me (again). I was gutted.

But I have come to the conclusion that my brain on drugs lies to me - it tells me to work for world peace. So when I sober up now, I just feel a bit dirty!