Sylveon
Unplugged
- Oct 10, 2023
- 496
Not sure why I felt like posting today, but I miss the feeling of knowing it was all coming to an end. Making plans, or even just thinking about the future, seems terrifying; I feel as though my brain has subconsciously created a sort of autopilot "bubble" that keeps me from getting anxious by dissociating all the time. Even so, getting up every morning has been harder than ever; I don't know if I'm actually depressed or just plain lazy; a part of me knows I'm not doing enough to get better, but then again, why should I even try when I'm not happy with my life in the first place? It's an almost painfully funny paradox to be in.
Sometimes it does feel kind of nice to have someone else drive for a while, but more often than not, I'm just left yearning for some semblance of control; it feels like a never-ending cycle. I wish I felt sick enough to justify not wanting to get out of bed every morning. I know that I can't die, and that makes everything feel more painful than it really is.
Sometimes it does feel kind of nice to have someone else drive for a while, but more often than not, I'm just left yearning for some semblance of control; it feels like a never-ending cycle. I wish I felt sick enough to justify not wanting to get out of bed every morning. I know that I can't die, and that makes everything feel more painful than it really is.
