Venting Monotonous

[Solow]

My life isn't that bad from the outside. I'm married with a son, have a good job, and overall an pretty stable (looking from the outside). Yet everything just feels like going through the same motions everyday for years. Honestly the best I can sum up my feelings is I'm tired. I'm tired of the everyday motions of living. Most of the time I just pray I don't wake up in the morning. I've never had the courage to act on anything and that makes me feel even worse, pretty much cowardly. No one in my life understands and just says I need to get a grip and chill. Honestly I can't think of anything that would make me want to continue this life. I just feel like I'm in limbo. I hate living but don't have the courage to do anything about it.

 

[Deivis]

Was it different 1 year ago? 2 years? 5 ? Or the moment you decided to have children?
Sounds like a burnout situation. Can get better, can get not... :|

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hello brother, you are not alone here, I have feelings that are very similar.
I think I understand some measure of what it's like to not have the courage and end feeling trapped, not because there is no love for woman or child but the seemingly endless cycle of day to day humdrum.
I liken this to being in a train that just gets faster and faster and you know you need to be on it, but you see all the things fly by out of the window and you wish it would just slow down or you could get off, even if only for a bit?
I feel your pain brother and I hope you can make some sense of this riddle you have and can find what you're looking for.
Peace friend.
DBD

 

[Mybattle]

My opinion is, that if you have a child and you are not suffering extreme agony you have to do what is necessary to keep going.

I am pro choice but there has to be a certain level of suffering and/or you have no ties with anybody close.

Maybe not a popular opinion, and I am not here to cry about how bad my life is but I suffer immensly from the moment I open my eyes till I close them and still I cannot get over the guilt. Now at some point I probably will. But there is 0 relief for me, I cannot watch TV, I cannot read a book, cannot play a game, the only thing giving me some sort of distraction or relief is a forum about CBT. Now that is sad shit.

Remember that it could be much worse, CBT is not easy it is very scary even for people in extreme agony. And from what I can read u feel empty tired and bored and this sucks bad. But if you have anything that gives you any enjoyment hold on to that because many people dont have that. And you also have a child who did not ask for this life. Your life your choice but I think when u have kids your suffering must be on a certain level. Just an opinion.

 

[Solow]

Was it different 1 year ago? 2 years? 5 ? Or the moment you decided to have children?
Sounds like a burnout situation. Can get better, can get not... :|

It's been going on for many many years. As the years have gone by things have seemed more and more overwhelming. I just feel like I have been beaten down by life a little each day. And now I just don't have the energy or the will to keep it going. Not sure when I first started thinking about ctb but I've been in pain for a long time. I used to cut to relieve some of the pain but never was able to bring myself to make a deep enough cut to end the pain.

My opinion is, that if you have a child and you are not suffering extreme agony you have to do what is necessary to keep going.

I am pro choice but there has to be a certain level of suffering and/or you have no ties with anybody close.

Maybe not a popular opinion, and I am not here to cry about how bad my life is but I suffer immensly from the moment I open my eyes till I close them and still I cannot get over the guilt. Now at some point I probably will. But there is 0 relief for me, I cannot watch TV, I cannot read a book, cannot play a game, the only thing giving me some sort of distraction or relief is a forum about CBT. Now that is sad shit.

Remember that it could be much worse, CBT is not easy it is very scary even for people in extreme agony. And from what I can read u feel empty tired and bored and this sucks bad. But if you have anything that gives you any enjoyment hold on to that because many people dont have that. And you also have a child who did not ask for this life. Your life your choice but I think when u have kids your suffering must be on a certain level. Just an opinion.

My opinion is, that if you have a child and you are not suffering extreme agony you have to do what is necessary to keep going.

I am pro choice but there has to be a certain level of suffering and/or you have no ties with anybody close.

Maybe not a popular opinion, and I am not here to cry about how bad my life is but I suffer immensly from the moment I open my eyes till I close them and still I cannot get over the guilt. Now at some point I probably will. But there is 0 relief for me, I cannot watch TV, I cannot read a book, cannot play a game, the only thing giving me some sort of distraction or relief is a forum about CBT. Now that is sad shit.

Remember that it could be much worse, CBT is not easy it is very scary even for people in extreme agony. And from what I can read u feel empty tired and bored and this sucks bad. But if you have anything that gives you any enjoyment hold on to that because many people dont have that. And you also have a child who did not ask for this life. Your life your choice but I think when u have kids your suffering must be on a certain level. Just an opinion.

Ok, I guess I posted on the wrong site. Sorry this is my first time ever being on a site like this. I was just really looking for a place to vent and find people who wouldn't judge me, my situation, and my feelings. I wasn't looking to upset, I will find a different site.
What keeps you going day to day

 

[Jodes]

It's been going on for many many years. As the years have gone by things have seemed more and more overwhelming. I just feel like I have been beaten down by life a little each day. And now I just don't have the energy or the will to keep it going. Not sure when I first started thinking about ctb but I've been in pain for a long time. I used to cut to relieve some of the pain but never was able to bring myself to make a deep enough cut to end the pain.


Ok, I guess I posted on the wrong site. Sorry this is my first time ever being on a site like this. I was just really looking for a place to vent and find people who wouldn't judge me, my situation, and my feelings. I wasn't looking to upset, I will find a different site.
What keeps you going day to day

My opinion is, that if you have a child and you are not suffering extreme agony you have to do what is necessary to keep going.

I am pro choice but there has to be a certain level of suffering and/or you have no ties with anybody close.

Maybe not a popular opinion, and I am not here to cry about how bad my life is but I suffer immensly from the moment I open my eyes till I close them and still I cannot get over the guilt. Now at some point I probably will. But there is 0 relief for me, I cannot watch TV, I cannot read a book, cannot play a game, the only thing giving me some sort of distraction or relief is a forum about CBT. Now that is sad shit.

Remember that it could be much worse, CBT is not easy it is very scary even for people in extreme agony. And from what I can read u feel empty tired and bored and this sucks bad. But if you have anything that gives you any enjoyment hold on to that because many people dont have that. And you also have a child who did not ask for this life. Your life your choice but I think when u have kids your suffering must be on a certain level. Just an opinion.

fwiw I think both opinions are welcome on this site. I'm biased maybe though, venting is the only thing keeping me going and I'm beyond grateful anyone even reads my crap and I'm not banned yet

 

[GeorgeJL]

My life isn't that bad from the outside. I'm married with a son, have a good job, and overall an pretty stable (looking from the outside). Yet everything just feels like going through the same motions everyday for years. Honestly the best I can sum up my feelings is I'm tired. I'm tired of the everyday motions of living. Most of the time I just pray I don't wake up in the morning. I've never had the courage to act on anything and that makes me feel even worse, pretty much cowardly. No one in my life understands and just says I need to get a grip and chill. Honestly I can't think of anything that would make me want to continue this life. I just feel like I'm in limbo. I hate living but don't have the courage to do anything about it.

Sounds like you would benefit from some psychedelics. Have you tried shrooms?