Venting my best friend of 6 years has been continuously emotionally abusing me

[s1u9l0rd]

me and my best friend met in 2019 in a mental health group, she has autism, BPD, and is probably the most unstable person I've ever met, for the past 6 years she's been lashing out on me then coming back and blaming it on her autism and BPD, early on in our friendship she was very obsessively attached to me, if I had any other friends she'd have the most terrifying outbursts, if I introduced her to anyone she'd flip out on them and bully them and sometimes even stalk their social media and harass their family and friends over the tiniest AND I MEAN TINIEST things ever, she'd overthink every little thing, if I didn't respond fast enough to her calls or texts she'd flip out, she's terrifying, every few months she has a really bad outburst on me, she'll scream at the top of her lungs and tell me I deserve all of my trauma and I'm as bad as my abusers, telling me how much I should kill myself, and trying to convince me I'm a pedophile, abuser, prostitute, some kind of horrible criminal with no real reason just to try to make me feel horrible. three years ago I was a victim of some kind of sexual abuse group (some news articles say it's a cult but I wouldn't consider it one) and I was abused by multiple men, one man specifically targeted me the most, and my "best friend" loves to use that against me, telling me that I deserved all of it and how I'm just as bad as those men, my other friends try to step in and talk to her but it always makes things worse, I love her and we have so many good memories and she can be so sweet, but this cycle of her lashing out and saying horrible things to me than being my best friend it's so awful, she's been such a huge part of my life. today she lashed out on me for not responding in a group chat where she had an argument with one of my friends because he said he couldn't call tonight but she wanted to call, she said so many awful things to me but not anything she hasn't told me before, she blocked me and texted some awful things to my friends, I expect her to come running back to me in a few days saying how sorry she is, I'm so tired of this, my family has no idea about the way she treats me and my parents think she's the sweetest girl who treats me great but in reality she's so fucking terrifying.

 

[getoutgirl]

I had a friend like that. I've cut contact with all of my friends as of now cos of being suicidal, but she's the only one I'm glad I did really. I've been very close to do that a lot of times but always went back to her "cos she is my friend"
She also has a lot of mental struggles, which sucks for her, but she hurts people too. She'd say awful things too. Manipulate everyone. All the time. If you feel like you are always walking on eggshells, that every conversation is a minefield, that a slip of the tongue could "ruin" it and it would be your fault and it's a constant draining effort to have that person in your life. Just get out. I say that even if I've never managed to do it myself until now and for different reasons. But I feel you, both in the guilt of letting go and the exhaustion of staying in. Deep down you probably know which one is the better of the two. Lots of hugs, things like these just suck <3