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fishlover
in the end, nothing matters
- Sep 17, 2023
- 167
its so insane. of all things i never thought this would be something id have to deal with. i always imagined id die before anyone else in my family could.
i wasnt close to my dad at all, long story short but i never even saw him. my whole life he lived in another country, and never bothered to visit me. he only called occasionally when i was growing up. usually days after my birthday and drunk. the moment i turned 18 it was "the phone goes 2 ways" and i had to visit him. but its not so easy to just drop everything and go see him either, so i never did.
well he died suddenly a couple of days ago. from a heart condition or one of the drugs he was using we dont know yet. now theres this inheritance, and its worth a lot but it feels like everyone is tugging me in different directions. im so tired. i just found out today as well that my mom withheld information from me about this whole thing and shes trying to influence my decision based on her feelings. and yet how can i feel anything? my dad and his side of the family dont care about me. they never bothered with me. why should i care about them?
i wasnt close to my dad at all, long story short but i never even saw him. my whole life he lived in another country, and never bothered to visit me. he only called occasionally when i was growing up. usually days after my birthday and drunk. the moment i turned 18 it was "the phone goes 2 ways" and i had to visit him. but its not so easy to just drop everything and go see him either, so i never did.
well he died suddenly a couple of days ago. from a heart condition or one of the drugs he was using we dont know yet. now theres this inheritance, and its worth a lot but it feels like everyone is tugging me in different directions. im so tired. i just found out today as well that my mom withheld information from me about this whole thing and shes trying to influence my decision based on her feelings. and yet how can i feel anything? my dad and his side of the family dont care about me. they never bothered with me. why should i care about them?