Venting My girlfriend committed suicide a couple days ago. ( Questions also )

[resteasy3232]

My girlfriend passed away a few days ago after taking SN, and I didn't know what SN was at the time. I'd never heard of it before, so I was really confused when it was confirmed. After doing some research, I ended up on this site. She didn't want to die—she took the poison because she was trying to make herself throw up. Now that I think about it, I wish she had just tried to make herself vomit in a safer way. She was 18. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been on this site before. I have some questions, and I'd appreciate it if they could be answered.


1. What is SN?

2. Did she go out painless?

3. How much SN can kill you? My girlfriend took a teaspoon from what she told me before she passed.

4. How does one get SN?

5. How much does it cost?

Thank you. I'll be responding if i can.

 

[leavingsoonx]

I'll let someone else answer number 3 but do you know if she was suicidal at all?

1. people usually use to cure meats so it's not something that most people just have laying around.

2. I would think death was relatively peaceful for her. The death occurs within 30 minutes usually so her suffering wasn't too long and people lose consciousness before time of passing. I hope that gives you peace

4. Lab stores, meat curing stores, online.. it depends on your location. The substance is legal but sometimes restricted

5. Depends on location. You can buy it online multiple places. It's a cheap substance but is often marked up. Marked up because of people like this form, kinda sick but hey.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal and continue to move forward no matter what the answer is to her taking the SN. It is an odd thing to take just to commit but I don't know her or your story.

 

[resteasy3232]

I'll let someone else answer number 3 but do you know if she was suicidal at all?

1. people usually use to cure meats so it's not something that most people just have laying around.

2. I would think death was relatively peaceful for her. The death occurs within 30 minutes usually so her suffering wasn't too long and people lose consciousness before time of passing. I hope that gives you peace

4. Lab stores, meat curing stores, online.. it depends on your location. The substance is legal but sometimes restricted

5. Depends on location. You can buy it online multiple places. It's a cheap substance but is often marked up. Marked up because of people like this form, kinda sick but hey.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal and continue to move forward no matter what the answer is to her taking the SN. It is an odd thing to take just to commit but I don't know her or your story.

She had a difficult childhood and struggled with suicidal thoughts, but since we started dating, my support seemed to be helping her. She wasn't as suicidal anymore, and she was starting to feel a bit more hopeful about life. She told me she was scared and didn't want to die, and I understood that, given her being really small (90 pounds or so), even a small amount of harm could cause a lot of damage to her.


She bought the SN at the start of this year, she wanted to take it on her birthday (somehow i got her not too for this long lol) so I'm happy she got to live a little longer then she was expected too.

 

[Whale_bones]

She didn't want to die—she took the poison because she was trying to make herself throw up. Now that I think about it, I wish she had just tried to make herself vomit in a safer way.

She bought the SN at the start of this year, she wanted to take it on her birthday (somehow i got her not too for this long lol) so I'm happy she got to live a little longer then she was expected too.

I'm very sorry about the passing of your girlfriend, I hope you can find any answers that you seek. If you don't mind, I'm just confused by some of what you've said. She took SN because she was trying to throw up, but she bought it at the start of this year and planned to take it on her birthday? So she wanted to throw up on her birthday and planned for that far ahead of time?

 

[resteasy3232]

I'm very sorry about the passing of your girlfriend, I hope you can find any answers that you seek. If you don't mind, I'm just confused by some of what you've said. She took SN because she was trying to throw up, but she bought it at the start of this year and planned to take it on her birthday? So she wanted to throw up on her birthday and planned for that far ahead of time?

No, she wanted to die on her birthday, but I got her to last a bit longer though.

She originally bought the SN to die, as she was suicidal for a very long time.

She took the SN a couple days ago because she felt bad for eating, she didnt take the SN to die. she just wanted to throw up from it.

 

[Whale_bones]

No, she wanted to die on her birthday, but I got her to last a bit longer though.

She originally bought the SN to die, as she was suicidal for a very long time.

She took the SN a couple days ago because she felt bad for eating, she didnt take the SN to die. she just wanted to throw up from it.

Ah, okay. I apologize if I'm going to come off like a jerk here, it's the internet and you never know people's intentions. I'm still confused by this situation.
You said you'd never heard of SN until after your gf's passing. So she told you she bought something at the start of this year, something that she intended to use to die, but didn't say what it was? Then a few days ago, she told you she took something to make her throw up, but didn't say what it was?

 

[Galahad]

No, she wanted to die on her birthday, but I got her to last a bit longer though.

She originally bought the SN to die, as she was suicidal for a very long time.

She took the SN a couple days ago because she felt bad for eating, she didnt take the SN to die. she just wanted to throw up from it.

I'm sorry for you loss, we're all acutely aware that suicide is incredibly difficult for our loved ones. I hope you find your peace, we're certainly all here to help you at this time.

If your last paragraph is true then despite originally buying SN to take her own life she didn't commit suicide, this would be Death by Misadventure in the UK (accidental death knowing the risks involved). I know it doesn't change that she's passed away but it may be easier for you not thinking she purposely took her own life.

 

[resteasy3232]

Ah, okay. I apologize if I'm going to come off like a jerk here, it's the internet and you never know people's intentions. I'm still confused by this situation.
You said you'd never heard of SN until after your gf's passing. So she told you she bought something at the start of this year, something that she intended to use to die, but didn't say what it was? Then a few days ago, she told you she took something to make her throw up, but didn't say what it was?

She told me she bought the posion and showed me the bottle when she got it, I never kept the name or anything like that because I never thought i'd need it.

She told me she took the poison to throw up, but yes she didn't tell me as I was on the phone with her trying to get her to breathe and calling the ambulance to her house.

She told me she bought the posion and showed me the bottle when she got it, I never kept the name or anything like that because I never thought i'd need it.

She told me she took the poison to throw up, but yes she didn't tell me as I was on the phone with her trying to get her to breathe and calling the ambulance to her house.

Then again, i completely forgot about the poison because we didnt bring it up much after that.

 

[Whale_bones]

She told me she bought the posion and showed me the bottle when she got it, I never kept the name or anything like that because I never thought i'd need it.

She showed you the bottle, hm. You keep referring to it as "the poison", is that how she referred to it?

She told me she took the poison to throw up, but yes she didn't tell me as I was on the phone with her trying to get her to breathe and calling the ambulance to her house.

The emergency operator would have asked you what she took (that would have been one of the first questions they asked after getting name and address). As someone who's called emergency services to report an overdose multiple times in my life, I know this from experience.

As some comfort, if your girlfriend did visit this site, I can say with confidence that she didn't get the idea to take SN to throw up from here. I've seen many instances of users making it very clear that any amount of SN is dangerous and potentially lethal.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be a very distressing time for you. I hope you have friends/ family around that will support you. To answer your questions as best as I can:

SN is Sodium Nitrite. Most commonly used in the process of meat curing.

Reports vary on how peaceful it is. The consensus seems to be that it is more commonly uncomfortable rather than very painful. I expect most of us hope to be unconscious in 20-30 minutes though.

I believe people have died after ingesting as little as 2g. Sometimes accidentally even when too much has been added to food. Most people seem to attempt with around 25g. There have been several members here who have 'tested' small amounts to test the effects or, sipped at it but, it's highly dissuaded here. Most people try to follow a protocol including fasting and antiemetics for an actual attempt.

May I ask- was your girlfriend quite an impulsive person? Members have taken it on impulse before. It does commonly cause vomiting although, I've not personally heard of someone using it for that. It's very risky to do that I imagine.

Depending on where you live and when it was bought- it varies on how easy it was to get hold of and how much it cost. At one point, it was available on Amazon! It's much more restricted now. Companies often require proof that they are selling to a legitimate business rather than an individual. There are still individual sellers but, people tend not to want to share sources easily. The cost varies greatly.

Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure you brought a great deal of comfort to her life.

 

[resteasy3232]

She showed you the bottle, hm. You keep referring to it as "the poison", is that how she referred to it?



The emergency operator would have asked you what she took (that would have been one of the first questions they asked after getting name and address). As someone who's called emergency services to report an overdose multiple times in my life, I know this from experience.

As some comfort, if your girlfriend did visit this site, I can say with confidence that she didn't get the idea to take SN to throw up from here. I've seen many instances of users making it very clear that any amount of SN is dangerous and potentially lethal.

yea, she called it a poison but she never said what it was fully.

and i asked a couple of her friends and im sure she knew what it would do, as she did a test on her blood before and it turned brown. im sure she knew what it would do to her blood but she wasnt thinking at the time.

they did ask me what poison she took but i said i wasnt sure and i forget, as i was hectic and i wasnt thinking much, just trying to get them there.

sorry for the late reply, i just woke up lol

 

[resteasy3232]

I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be a very distressing time for you. I hope you have friends/ family around that will support you. To answer your questions as best as I can:

SN is Sodium Nitrite. Most commonly used in the process of meat curing.

Reports vary on how peaceful it is. The consensus seems to be that it is more commonly uncomfortable rather than very painful. I expect most of us hope to be unconscious in 20-30 minutes though.

I believe people have died after ingesting as little as 2g. Sometimes accidentally even when too much has been added to food. Most people seem to attempt with around 25g. There have been several members here who have 'tested' small amounts to test the effects or, sipped at it but, it's highly dissuaded here. Most people try to follow a protocol including fasting and antiemetics for an actual attempt.

May I ask- was your girlfriend quite an impulsive person? Members have taken it on impulse before. It does commonly cause vomiting although, I've not personally heard of someone using it for that. It's very risky to do that I imagine.

Depending on where you live and when it was bought- it varies on how easy it was to get hold of and how much it cost. At one point, it was available on Amazon! It's much more restricted now. Companies often require proof that they are selling to a legitimate business rather than an individual. There are still individual sellers but, people tend not to want to share sources easily. The cost varies greatly.

Again, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sure you brought a great deal of comfort to her life.

she was kinda impulsive, i know she wouldnt have taken it if i was awake ( i woke up pretty late ), but i was too late to get her not to take it. i didnt get to ask her about why she decided to take that and only that because well, she isnt with us anymore.

 

[Whale_bones]

yea, she called it a poison but she never said what it was fully.

and i asked a couple of her friends and im sure she knew what it would do, as she did a test on her blood before and it turned brown. im sure she knew what it would do to her blood but she wasnt thinking at the time.

they did ask me what poison she took but i said i wasnt sure and i forget, as i was hectic and i wasnt thinking much, just trying to get them there.

sorry for the late reply, i just woke up lol

Ah okay, makes sense. No worries on taking time to reply, and I apologize if I came off like a jerk while questioning you. It's the internet and we don't know anyone's intentions, but the fact is we're here for support and I shouldn't be questioning you like that, just providing support and answers if they can be helpful. I was having an off night last night and it's on me that I responded like that, but you've been gracious in your replies and I appreciate that. I hope the answers provided by this community can be helpful in your grieving process.

 

[resteasy3232]

Ah okay, makes sense. No worries on taking time to reply, and I apologize if I came off like a jerk while questioning you. It's the internet and we don't know anyone's intentions, but the fact is we're here for support and I shouldn't be questioning you like that, just providing support and answers if they can be helpful. I was having an off night last night and it's on me that I responded like that, but you've been gracious in your replies and I appreciate that. I hope the answers provided by this community can be helpful in your grieving process.

Thank you, and no dont worry you didnt come off as a jerk. i understand some people might be suspicious about it. thank you for the love

 

[Agon321]

The people above have already answered your questions, but if you want, this thread has a lot of information about SN:

SN Bible Sodium Nitrite Method (Comprehensive Guide SN Method)

Sodium Nitrite (SN) Method Introduction This document is a compilation of different sn information, members inputs, important posts related to sn, recorded suicide cases related to sn, different research on sn and so on. This document also give a full understanding of SN, what it is, how it...

sanctioned-suicide.net