my last christmas

[meltskelt]

weird rigth? It is gonna be the last time I have christmas and new year.
Sometimes I ask myself if I'm doing the right choice, but tbh I really cannot take a whole year of college again... This the end.
I kind of wanted to find someone to ctb with me even if by call, yeah? Who knows

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of suffering in this existence but anyway I wish you the best, I hope you find the relief you search for.

 

[VigilanteWithViolin]

In the last few months, I've been thinking the same thing: this is my last new year. I could celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas properly to enjoy, but I don't even have the energy for that. Try to limit the various triggers and find at least one thing that gives you peace to relax. I hope that your suffering will be alleviated at least in some way so that you feel better....

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

weird rigth? It is gonna be the last time I have christmas and new year.

Yeah I've been going through this too, it feels weird. I think evolution has wired our brains to assume we'll keep living year after year, so taking death into our own hands breaks that assumption and leaves the brain in uncharted territory. At least that's how it feels for me, it leaves me in a bit of a daze.

Sometimes I ask myself if I'm doing the right choice, but tbh I really cannot take a whole year of college again... This the end.

No shame in questioning your decision and backing out if you're not sure that the time is right. I almost committed suicide in college, but I decided to wait and soon afterwards everything started changing for the better.

 

[meltskelt]

Yeah I've been going through this too, it feels weird. I think evolution has wired our brains to assume we'll keep living year after year, so taking death into our own hands breaks that assumption and leaves the brain in uncharted territory. At least that's how it feels for me, it leaves me in a bit of a daze.


No shame in questioning your decision and backing out if you're not sure that the time is right. I almost committed suicide in college, but I decided to wait and soon afterwards everything started changing for the better.

i just dont want to keep moving foward with my college life, somehow it feels pointless.... But a part of me says that I could get better one day ( probably just lies) Thx for the message

 

[TheHolySword]

weird rigth? It is gonna be the last time I have christmas and new year.
Sometimes I ask myself if I'm doing the right choice, but tbh I really cannot take a whole year of college again... This the end.
I kind of wanted to find someone to ctb with me even if by call, yeah? Who knows

it's been on my mind for a long time now. as it gets closer, it gets so much harder to accept. im doing everything i can to make it a good last christmas with my family. im spending new years with my friends. i want everyone to have one good last memory of this special time. it's a bit sad, knowing this will be my last christmas. but i don't have the strength or the will or the want to see another.

 

[foreverlanguish]

I get that for sure. This'll probably be my last Christmas and New Year spent on this planet, too. It's a little scary to think about, but it's not all that bad. To me, missing several decades of Christmases and New Years are well worth taking than several decades long of pain and suffering.

 

[meltskelt]

I get that for sure. This'll probably be my last Christmas and New Year spent on this planet, too. It's a little scary to think about, but it's not all that bad. To me, missing several decades of Christmases and New Years are well worth taking than several decades long of pain and suffering.

u are right... If we keep going just for some holidays we will only be sufferig more and more. It is worth the pain.

 

[HereWeGo!]

I could really hope this would be my last Christmas. If I had the the guts to, I would probably be gone even before Christmas. I feel so bad right now that I almost wouldn't care about ruining Christmas for my family and friend's. I really would like to have the guts to CTB.

 

[meltskelt]

I could really hope this would be my last Christmas. If I had the the guts to, I would probably be gone even before Christmas. I feel so bad right now that I almost wouldn't care about ruining Christmas for my family and friend's. I really would like to have the guts to CTB.

you usually just dont think too much, better if your method isn't much gory

 

[HereWeGo!]

My preferred method would be jumping or most likely hanging. But I'm still too worried there will be some kind of failure thru an undone noose or with rope coming undone from attachment point. There are also risk of being discovered.
I really wish I had a gun.

 

[meltskelt]

My preferred method would be jumping or most likely hanging. But I'm still too worried there will be some kind of failure thru an undone noose or with rope coming undone from attachment point. There are also risk of being discovered.
I really wish I had a gun.

yeah, that kind of method aren't very kind to your mental health... Mine is SN, so it helps having more control on " am I gonna die without pain?" kind of thoughts

 

[HereWeGo!]

yeah, that kind of method aren't very kind to your mental health... Mine is SN, so it helps having more control on " am I gonna die without pain?" kind of thoughts

I've never considered SN because I don't think I would be able to get it, because the lack of knowledge about how to get it unfortunately. But SN seems like a pretty good method according to beating the SI.

 

[alivebutnotliving]

same here. It's ironic because the Christmas spirit feels weaker than ever this time around. I wish you the most comfortable and warm holiday possible, you deserve it