Venting My life is falling apart

[jellymomo]

I fucking hate my life. Half of the time I don't feel like i'm there for some reason. My parents don't care about me, my friends don't care about me, and the majority of my day I just spend time in my room bed-rotting. I feel so bored with my life and no one likes me. I feel so pathetic for still being alive while my life is so bad right now. I feel like everyone in my life is waiting for me to die and is making fun of me for still living

Today, my dad pointed out my weight gain which triggered me to relapse SH which i haven't done in a year. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself yet I obviously deserve it because of how much of a failure I am. The fact they pointed out my hugest flaw just made me realize how much my life is falling apart. Usually I distract myself from the real world when I'm depressed but fuck, this really brought me back to reality. I wanna ctb I wanna disappear so fucking bad.

 

[Ichigo]

I fucking hate my life. Half of the time I don't feel like i'm there for some reason. My parents don't care about me, my friends don't care about me, and the majority of my day I just spend time in my room bed-rotting. I feel so bored with my life and no one likes me. I feel so pathetic for still being alive while my life is so bad right now. I feel like everyone in my life is waiting for me to die and is making fun of me for still living

Today, my dad pointed out my weight gain which triggered me to relapse SH which i haven't done in a year. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself yet I obviously deserve it because of how much of a failure I am. The fact they pointed out my hugest flaw just made me realize how much my life is falling apart. Usually I distract myself from the real world when I'm depressed but fuck, this really brought me back to reality. I wanna ctb I wanna disappear so fucking bad.

Why do you feel not cared for?

 

[jellymomo]

Why do you feel not cared for?

Nobody checks up on me so I feel that way

 

[Ichigo]

Nobody checks up on me so I feel that way

Yeah I understand. Actually, as someone whos always have to be the one to check up on my friends first but never has them do that for me in return I can relate to not feeling cared for. It's really heartbreaking to realize that nobody cares about you or that they care about you but not in the way you want them to. It feels really lonely... Even if you're supposedly surrounded by friends and family.

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

Do you have a fav part of Girl, Interrupted?

 

[jellymomo]

Yeah I understand. Actually, as someone whos always have to be the one to check up on my friends first but never has them do that for me in return I can relate to not feeling cared for. It's really heartbreaking to realize that nobody cares about you or that they care about you but not in the way you want them to. It feels really lonely... Even if you're supposedly surrounded by friends and family.

Exactly, it sucks having friends that don't care about you. It's like I don't have friends at all...aren't friends supposed to care? like lol

 

[Ichigo]

Do you have a fav part of Girl, Interrupted?

Lol I noticed her profile was of Daisy from girl interrupted but I didn't say anything about it cuz I didn't wanna derail

 

[jellymomo]

Do you have a fav part of Girl, Interrupted?

Yes!! I loved that part the girls at that ice cream shop I thought it was funny and sweet haha

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

Yes!! I loved that part the girls at that ice cream shop I thought it was funny and sweet haha

"Get that out of my FACE ASSHOLE!!"
I think that is everyone's favorite scene lol.
Don't know where you got your pfp but it was a nice surprise :)
Idk if it's appropriate or not, but that was a childhood staple for me lol. Good to see other generations are appreciating it. I didn't like the book all that much though.

 

[Ichigo]

"Get that out of my FACE ASSHOLE!!"
I think that is everyone's favorite scene lol.
Don't know where you got your pfp but it was a nice surprise :)
Idk if it's appropriate or not, but that was a childhood staple for me lol. Good to see other generations are appreciating it. I didn't like the book all that much though.

So many Hollywood movies are adaptation of books and I don't even know, lol. Guess it makes sense?

 

[ms_beaverhousen]

So many Hollywood movies are adaptation of books and I don't even know, lol. Guess it makes sense?

It happens, especially now as I guess it's hard (even though it's not) to write an original screenplay without it being based on someone/something. But yeah there really is a Susanna Kaysen who wrote about her experience. Just don't expect much of it though.
Sorry Jelly, besides chat, there wasn't a place to inquire about your pfp. My tired eyes are calling you "jellymoms" btw.