My lithium journey

[Abandoned Character]

Knowing where I am at in my life, I decided to accept the responsibility of exploring psychiatric care for my bipolar/adhd/anxiety issues. Unfortunately, the psychiatrist I met with wants me to be on lithium because of my Type I diagnosis (very bad manic episode a couple years back). I say unfortunate because lithium does not play well with pretty much every recreational drug, many of which I find very fun to use (responsibly).

I am taking a very small dose for a week before getting bloodwork done, then if all is well my dose will slowly work up to a therapeautic level.

The symptoms I am looking to alleviate are things like feeling like something terrible is going to happen, my overthinking mind that causes a sense of paralysis and indecision, my tendency to catastrophize under stress, as well as reduce my tendency towards irritability and frustration. Ultimately, I want to be able to finish my college degree without debiltating fear and anxiety. I do not know if lithium will help me, but I cannot say until I do as the doctor says at least for a little while.

I asked the doctor if medication is something I will have to be on for my whole life, or if it is something I can use to get my life on track a little bit then go back to rawdogging my mental state. Much to my dismay, they said that, if lithium reduces my bipolar symptoms, I should probably expect to be on the medication for the rest of my life. I really want to reject the drug as a result, as being medicated for eternity is simply not something I want to commit to. However, I know I must take this as far as I can go in order to be the person I want to be, so I will commit to today.

In an attempt to compartmentalize my thoughts, I will use this thread to log my experiences with the medication and possibly even future psychiatric interventions, I am curious to hear others' experiences with lithium if they are willing to share, but to be clear I am not interested in hearing anyone's recommendation as to how I should be medicated--that is between me and my doctor.

 

[LittleJem]

Lithium is not good with shrooms and LSD as seizure risk.

It's fine with weed best of my knowledge

Okay with Ketamine I think

Other drugs - I don't know

My ex finds it very calming. My dad's friend had 40 good years on it
For me, hmm it just makes me wee more. Made me feel happier for about a week

I would give it a proper good shot. It's one of the least offensive meds IMO.

Also - for tripping - I wonder if you can take a week or two off the lithium to trip then go back on it

 

[Abandoned Character]

My relationship with medication is intimately related to my relationship with the western world. Is it my mental state that needs medication, or is it the external world that needs to become accustomed to my state of being? When one is in the throws of insanity, it truely feels like you are the sane one. I cannot say for certain how I feel about this until I give the standard expectation a good shot. I want to get the degree and explore options for establishing a 9-5 career, simply to see how it resonates with me.

My intuition is that how I want to spend my time and contribute to this world is far outside of the norm, but I cannot quite let myself explore that part of me fully until I understand what about the "normal" path I am turned off by. Hence, my exploring of lithium is an attempt to live life like a "normal person," whatever that means. We shall see.

Okay with Ketamine I think

My doctor plugged K and lithium into their interaction system and it came up with bad interaction, but I did not inquire what is informing their system. What makes you say it is okay? I haven't done too much research on things like K/Nitrous/MDMA, but cursory googles comes up with doctors saying don't feckin do it. It's hard to tell if they are saying that cause they're squares or if there is legit risk. WIll look into it deeper at some point. Ultimately, I can accept being sober for however long it takes.

 

[LittleJem]

Adding Lithium Might Enable Ketamine's Antidepressant Activity in Ketamine-Resistant Patients, Study Suggests

Researchers have published results of experiments in rodents suggesting that lithium, a widely prescribed mood stabilizer, may have value as an adjunct to ketamine therapy in people who suffer from treatment-resistant depression (TRD).

bbrfoundation.org

 

[Soupster]

I have Bipolar I as well. Congratulations on winning the lottery. Here's the deal with treating Bipolar with any medication. Once you get the right therapeutic balance and get your moods stabilized it is likely you will feel mostly 'normal'. You'll start doing 'normal' things again. And you'll likely feel like you're ok and don't need the meds anymore. There's the side effects, the blood work, the doctors visits. The medical costs. It's just a lot. So, you'll fall into the trap so, so many people with Bipolar do, and discontinue your meds.

Life will be okay for a bit and then you'll have another episode. Try as you might you will likely spiral until the moods are out of control. It will land you back at the doctors to get you back on meds, in the hospital, or possibly dead.

I can speak to this from personal experience. It also is a very common cycle in Bipolar patients from what all my pdocs have said. The man I was named after had Bipolar and went through this cycle until he lost everything and ctb (I was the lucky SOB to find him at age 8).

Tl;dr: Bipolar I is a lifetime condition. There is no cure. You don't just get over it or grow out of it. If you're committed to recovery, you must commit to a lifetime of treatment.

Edit: Just as a note, Lithium is often a first line treatment, but it is not the only treatment. If you have concerns with it, talk to your doc about other options. Lithium worked for me for several years, now it does nothing to help me even at maximum dosage.

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

The blood work isn't that big of a deal; I have mine tested twice a year.

 

[Soupster]

The blood work isn't that big of a deal; I have mine tested twice a year.

For sure. They tend to be more frequent in the beginning, but once your dosage is established its usually once a quarter or once every six months. Depakote is about the same frequency.

 

[Abandoned Character]

I'm currently taking 900mg Lithium carbonate nightly. I do not notice any affects. I was recently additionally prescribed seroquil, which I am not siked about. It took a lot for me to convince myself to give medication a try--throwing another pill into the mix doesn't help that anxiety. However, it is a very simple process to stop so its's worth a try.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Dosage now increased to 1200mg nightly, as bloodwork is only showing 0.4 mEq/L (therapeatic measure is 0.8). Additionally prescribed seroquel (quetiapine). Apparently seroquel's drowsy affects goes away at higher dosages and it is a safe medicine to ramp up in dosage quickly. So within a week I am expected to be taking 300mg seroquel nightly as well. Not too excited, but I am not ready to give up yet. We'll see where this goes.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

How's your water intake? My levels are therapeutic but I can never keep up with the water it seems like. At least I think that's why I'm so nauseous and vomit everyday.

 

[letmegetout]

I've just started lithium a few weeks ago, I'm now on 600mg, all I've noticed so far is being tired and constipated, my serum levels were clearly not therapeutic at 400mg so it's been increased but I'm yet to see any positive effects from it. I hope it helps you

 

[Abandoned Character]

My current medication is 1200mg lithium, 600mg seroquel, and 80mg atomoxetine (a non-stimulant norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) and my symptomology remains unchanged. I am on the same lithium dose as my last post because my damn hospital failed to send my psychiatrist my bloodwork so I have been slow to get that data. I anticipate I am still not at a therapuetic dose.

How's your water intake? My levels are therapeutic but I can never keep up with the water it seems like. At least I think that's why I'm so nauseous and vomit everyday.

The only time I am nauseous is when I take my medication at night, and even then it ranges from mild to intense and never lasts past bedtime. I've been on a couple multi-day backpacking trips and my water intake was good even then, but I don't think I'm at a therapeutic level so I will update that when I get there. Thank you for the responses. May your journeys be positive.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I hope it helps you.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Just got word from my psyhiatrist that 1200 mg of lithium has my levels at 0.8, which is the target thereaputic level. I feel no different than when I started about two months ago, maybe that is part of the goal. I still feel a resistance to sit down and do the work that needs to be done. Maybe it's a little bit easier to get over that resistance now, I am still not sure.

The pills make me drowsy and nauseous when I take them in the night.

 

[timf]

There was a guy named "Pete" in the UK who had a Youtube channel about his bipolar 2. He found using Lithium Orotate (as opposed to prescription Lithium) to be helpful.

 

[timf]

One additional thought. The comedian Steven Fry produced a documentary on bipolar that was interesting. One of the people he included as a gal who is a physician in the UK who is bipolar. She described being able to improve her functioning by taking large doses of Omega 3 (fish oil)

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

One additional thought. The comedian Steven Fry produced a documentary on bipolar that was interesting. One of the people he included as a gal who is a physician in the UK who is bipolar. She described being able to improve her functioning by taking large doses of Omega 3 (fish oil)

I'm remembering it somewhat different. She followed a fish diet (rich in omega-3). Japan has a tradition of eating fish and apparently there are less mood disorders hence why. (Correlation doesn't mean causality though.)

Another important factor: she cut down on her work, so there was less stress.

I take MorEPA+ every day, but it's in addition to my meds. I don't eat any fish at all, so I guess it can't hurt.

Stephen Fry's documentary can be found on YouTube. Simply search for:

the secret life of a manic depressive

(part 1 and 2)

 

[Abandoned Character]

Few months into this now at stable, therapeutic dosages and generally feeling the same. Honestly, as expected. Really wish I had a therapist for this. The nausea caused by the medication has actually gotten to me and I've stopped taking them for the past 3 days. Not sure if being off the meds for just three days is causing this but currently feeling intensely lethargic and apathetic. Emailed the doctor about it and meeting with them soon so will likely stabilize again.

The purpose of this update is to say that as of right now, in my personal experience, lithium, seroquel, and atomoxetine ain't doing much.

 

[Ashu]

Just got word from my psyhiatrist that 1200 mg of lithium has my levels at 0.8, which is the target thereaputic level. I feel no different than when I started about two months ago, maybe that is part of the goal. I still feel a resistance to sit down and do the work that needs to be done. Maybe it's a little bit easier to get over that resistance now, I am still not sure.

The pills make me drowsy and nauseous when I take them in the night.

Have they affected your sexuality? Psychiatric drugs generally do.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Have they affected your sexuality? Psychiatric drugs generally do.

I haven't really noticed any changes on that front. My poops the last couple months have been godtier though (not joking).

 

[Ashu]

I haven't really noticed any changes on that front. My poops the last couple months have been godtier though (not joking).

I can believe it. I know how it is.

 

[Abandoned Character]

Few months into this now at stable, therapeutic dosages and generally feeling the same. Honestly, as expected. Really wish I had a therapist for this. The nausea caused by the medication has actually gotten to me and I've stopped taking them for the past 3 days. Not sure if being off the meds for just three days is causing this but currently feeling intensely lethargic and apathetic. Emailed the doctor about it and meeting with them soon so will likely stabilize again.

The purpose of this update is to say that as of right now, in my personal experience, lithium, seroquel, and atomoxetine ain't doing much.

The evening of my last post where I mentioned I was off meds for 3 days, I decided to try to get back on the meds. That night I vomited about 2 hours after ingestion and struggling with intense nasuea. It was difficult to say if it was because I was off my meds for too long (just three days), or because I had a drink or two of alcohol roughly 4 hours prior to medication, or because I was getting pretty sick in general (cold and cough).

Since then I've vomitted once or twice more, honestly I can't really remember. After the second, my psychiatrist changed my dosage to 900mg LI, 600mg seroquel, and 40mg atomoxetine (previously went to 100mg right before the nights of vomitting). The higher dosage of atomexetine (straterra), definitely made the naseua a lot worse.

I am being weened off of the non-stimulan atomexetine and am starting 20mg of vyvanse (lisdexamphetamine), which is a stimulant useful for treating ADHD symptoms.

I am curious to see where this new stimulant medication goes, but I am resilient to accepting the lithium and seroquel, as it is not clear what they are doing for me. Ultimately, I still feel like the medication is not the issue, it is my own latent distaste to do anything beyond the minimum. I feel so lazy and apathetic about embodying my humanity. There is this voice that hates itself and everything it percieves and it's hard to not let that daily droll affect my sense of self. Like I am been exposed to pretty much every self-help type concept at this point in my life. Intellectually, I understand the usefulness of certain mindsets and I know exactly the actions to take to work towards independence and positively benefitting my community. Emotionally, I just want to play videogames and jerk off and travel.

When I say embodying my humanity I mean diving into what I intuitively know can fulfill me. I want to finish my degree (very little work left to do) and start substitute teaching and tutoring mathematics and physics. Something like that will expose me to the social aspect of work that I long for. I miss talking to people about difficult concepts and working through questions together. I want to plan a trip to the grand canyon. Beyond those desires, I want to learn how to sing, improve my dance, and study music. I have countless ambitions, so why is my routine day-to-day so boring and uninspiring? Right now my time is not spent the way I want it to, and it's been that way for a while--hence the psychiatric attempt to improve. So far, my inner fear feels validated in that the medication is not going to help me until I let go of whatever bullshit I am holding onto.

That's it, I don't want to let go of the bullshit, The neurosis feels like its at every corner, pulling myself away from action because it is terrified of all the options and consequences. I'm going to end this ramble for now, but riffing on these ideas brings me closer to understanding what all the bullshit is and where its coming from.