UninformedLover
"We will fight this together...as a family."
- Nov 12, 2019
- 304
Title. My mother does this in a few different ways whether it be disregarding whatever it is I say or well..literally. Most times its the latter. I don't have any friends and since I am home a great deal I often(end up) talk(ing) to my mother about most things. I'm not a talkative person actually quite the opposite so her disinterest baffles me.
For example - Earlier today I was talking to my mom about how I can go about getting a new laptop (since I broke my new one) and instead of paying attention all she did was stand there on her phone watching a blogger-eqsue youtuber as I talked to her :(.
This happens all the time . She's so invested in other people's lives that she can't even give me 1 minute of her own time. If she's not watching blogger youtubers she's playing online spades. Then while I talk to her she just shells out whatever short witted reponse she thinks is fitting. (Mainly just oh why really? And wow that's crazy). Oftentimes I just leave mid sentence and go silently cry in my room. She doesn't even notice I am gone. I feel so foolish and dumb. I know I am boring and uninteresting but even so I wish she could pretend to care about anything I say.
I've even noticed that if I happen to catch her at a time where she is not on her phone she will actually PULL out her phone and use it while I am talking to her.
We have gotten into many arguments about this and each time all she says is that she does listen to me. Which is a lie of course. I think I might actually lose my mind. I tend to over think things so sometimes my judgement is skewed, but anyone with a functioning brain cell can see the disinterest in my mother's replies when I speak to her. I'm just so hurt. Nobody ever listens to anything I say. It always just falls on deaf ears. What is wrong with me?
I remember one time I was spilling my heart and soul to my high school guidance counselor when she got a phone call and just silence her phone and continued to listen to me attentively. That small gesture really touched me deeply. I think about it often and it makes me cry. I've never experienced such basic respect before.
For example - Earlier today I was talking to my mom about how I can go about getting a new laptop (since I broke my new one) and instead of paying attention all she did was stand there on her phone watching a blogger-eqsue youtuber as I talked to her :(.
This happens all the time . She's so invested in other people's lives that she can't even give me 1 minute of her own time. If she's not watching blogger youtubers she's playing online spades. Then while I talk to her she just shells out whatever short witted reponse she thinks is fitting. (Mainly just oh why really? And wow that's crazy). Oftentimes I just leave mid sentence and go silently cry in my room. She doesn't even notice I am gone. I feel so foolish and dumb. I know I am boring and uninteresting but even so I wish she could pretend to care about anything I say.
I've even noticed that if I happen to catch her at a time where she is not on her phone she will actually PULL out her phone and use it while I am talking to her.
We have gotten into many arguments about this and each time all she says is that she does listen to me. Which is a lie of course. I think I might actually lose my mind. I tend to over think things so sometimes my judgement is skewed, but anyone with a functioning brain cell can see the disinterest in my mother's replies when I speak to her. I'm just so hurt. Nobody ever listens to anything I say. It always just falls on deaf ears. What is wrong with me?
I remember one time I was spilling my heart and soul to my high school guidance counselor when she got a phone call and just silence her phone and continued to listen to me attentively. That small gesture really touched me deeply. I think about it often and it makes me cry. I've never experienced such basic respect before.
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