Venting My parents are always fighting and I can't take it anymore

[cececinderella]

So, my parents are separated. One lives a state away, the other lives with me. Shared custody. I'm about to move up to the state my other parent lives in, but it's been stressful lately. The two argue in our family groupchat, in front of my 14 year old brother and I. It's becoming increasingly common, and I don't handle conflict very well. The two haven't gotten along well since their separation, but it's only gotten worse now that I'm about to move. I feel like my parents know that I see the messages, sooner or later, whether in my notification center or in the app, but they're too caught up in their own feelings to actually care. I'm too scared to tell them I don't like it and I want them to stop. Normally it would be easier for me to just ignore it, but I can't anymore. These two are my parents, and they nearly always fight whenever they talk. I feel like a burden on them. I feel like I just shouldn't exist, that things would get easier for both of them if I had never been born. I ended up on an alcoholic binge just watching them fight from my notifications. I muted them, but I can't help but think about it. I know that sooner or later, my mom will come up to my room talking about my dad. When I don't want to hear it. When I don't care. When I just want it all to stop. They hate each other, and I hate that they can't ever get along for the sake of their children. I'm so tired. What will it take to get them to stop?

 

[ex0cet]

): I'm sorry to hear. My parents were like that too and I also resorted to running away/substance use, they don't see how that sort of thing impacts you and your siblings. I wish yours would at least stick to their own chat instead of making everyone else subject to it. Hopefully when you move, there's less of that nonsense.

 

[enjoytheride]

I am sorry you are going through this. It must be really tough emotionally. What I would suggest, as an experiment, is to really tell them in the chat group that you and your brother are not okay with being a witness to their fighting. It's between them. Then you just see what happens. The worst that can happen is they carry on doing it. But I don't think either of them will dare to harm you in any way for saying what you feel. Also, you are not a burden to them. They chose to have you and your brother.

Best wishes!