Help My parents really ruined my life

[fenty]

since I was a child it seems my parents loved to sabotage me in infinite ways. They are the sort of parents where they treat me like a doll or pet they just have this certain idea in their head of how I should be and any time I deviate from thtt they fresak out because they realise I;m my own person with opinions. For example, before my parents had even met, they had decided what school I will go to, my GCSES, my A-levels, what university and degree I will do. Anytime I want to make my own education choice they threaten to kick me out.

I applied for uni and got denied for Dentistry but I was offered any stem courses of my choice at ~3 unis. I wanted to accept these offers as it is better to have a few offers of any course than none at all. My dad screamed his fucking head off when I got an interview. Not an offer. An interview. I said I would do the interview anyway (not course he wanted) and he threatened to kick me out. He locked me outside in the rain in February at night. And my Mum or brother didnt do anythign. about it. I didn't get an offer HE wanted so I turned down all my offers and now Im taking a gap year. I wish i didnt listen.

I got AAB in my alevels and was two marks off AAA. I need at least AAA to do dentistry/medicine. I wish I chose my own alevels instead of listening to my paretns and doing Biology, Chemistry and MAths.

So here I am, taking a gap year, with no university offers and shit grades. Retaking takes a whole year. He set me up for sabotage so he can continue abusing me.

To top it off, my Dad just suggeested I choose choose a stem degree then do dentistry. WHICH HE FORCED ME TO WITHDRAW FROM ALL MY OFFERS??? I cant even explain how miserable i FEEL. Its so unfair, Im at risk of being homeless everyday,all the work I did was for nothing. Evert education option takes at least a year, if not two. I can;t stay at home for two years Im miserable. My dad is so abusive. I never realised until recently. I thought because "he doesnt hit my mum that much" it doesnt count. i only have nightmares and for a week straight I have a dream where he tortures me and witha a different instrument every night. while everyone watches. He trips me up, pushes me down the stairs and throws things at me "as a joke". I just wish I listened to my intuition because uni is my onlty way out. I would count down the days until I was 18 so I could get out of this nightmare and Im stuck here and im never going to get out and if i get kicked out i have no one because i dont have any friends because my parents socially isoalted me as well so the abuse can continue.

I dont knwo what to do but I feel I have no choice but to ctb becauseI cant stay home any longer. If i get a 9-5 and spend the rest of the time volunteering it will be ookay but only one year and I dont have any offers. I have 3000 pounds. Hopefully I have enough money to ctb or od on fentanyl or something because i just want to be by myself anf I cant take it anymore and I dont have any advice or support i just feel like i have no other choice.
Sorry this doesn't even make sense. The point is I don't want to kill myself, but I feel I have no choice. If there was any way out I would take it. BUT, if I run away I need to think about my future. I don't have a job or any qualifications and no support system. So I feel that the only way out of my house is through death.

since I was a child it seems my parents loved to sabotage me in infinite ways. They are the sort of parents where they treat me like a doll or pet they just have this certain idea in their head of how I should be and any time I deviate from thtt they fresak out because they realise I;m my own person with opinions. For example, before my parents had even met, they had decided what school I will go to, my GCSES, my A-levels, what university and degree I will do. Anytime I want to make my own education choice they threaten to kick me out.

I applied for uni and got denied for Dentistry but I was offered any stem courses of my choice at ~3 unis. I wanted to accept these offers as it is better to have a few offers of any course than none at all. My dad screamed his fucking head off when I got an interview. Not an offer. An interview. I said I would do the interview anyway (not course he wanted) and he threatened to kick me out. He locked me outside in the rain in February at night. And my Mum or brother didnt do anythign. about it. I didn't get an offer HE wanted so I turned down all my offers and now Im taking a gap year. I wish i didnt listen.

I got AAB in my alevels and was two marks off AAA. I need at least AAA to do dentistry/medicine. I wish I chose my own alevels instead of listening to my paretns and doing Biology, Chemistry and MAths.

So here I am, taking a gap year, with no university offers and shit grades. Retaking takes a whole year. He set me up for sabotage so he can continue abusing me.

To top it off, my Dad just suggeested I choose choose a stem degree then do dentistry. WHICH HE FORCED ME TO WITHDRAW FROM ALL MY OFFERS??? I cant even explain how miserable i FEEL. Its so unfair, Im at risk of being homeless everyday,all the work I did was for nothing. Evert education option takes at least a year, if not two. I can;t stay at home for two years Im miserable. My dad is so abusive. I never realised until recently. I thought because "he doesnt hit my mum that much" it doesnt count. i only have nightmares and for a week straight I have a dream where he tortures me and witha a different instrument every night. while everyone watches. He trips me up, pushes me down the stairs and throws things at me "as a joke". I just wish I listened to my intuition because uni is my onlty way out. I would count down the days until I was 18 so I could get out of this nightmare and Im stuck here and im never going to get out and if i get kicked out i have no one because i dont have any friends because my parents socially isoalted me as well so the abuse can continue.

I dont knwo what to do but I feel I have no choice but to ctb becauseI cant stay home any longer. If i get a 9-5 and spend the rest of the time volunteering it will be ookay but only one year and I dont have any offers. I have 3000 pounds. Hopefully I have enough money to ctb or od on fentanyl or something because i just want to be by myself anf I cant take it anymore and I dont have any advice or support i just feel like i have no other choice.
Sorry this doesn't even make sense. The point is I don't want to kill myself, but I feel I have no choice. If there was any way out I would take it. BUT, if I run away I need to think about my future. I don't have a job or any qualifications and no support system. So I feel that the only way out of my house is through death.

Simplified: I have no qualifications, job or support system so I can't just leave or run away (without being forced to come back/coming back out of desperation) . I don't want to kill myself but I feel the only way out of my household is through death.

 

[Hellis]

It's crazy how some people bring new humans into the world then proceed to be upset about it being its own being. It's horrible that there's nothing to be done about it either. We live in a day and age where it's hard to get away from family where it wasn't before (depending on where you live) and the world feels against us.

You say you don't want to die, I really hope you get to live in comfort away from your family without ever changing your mind on that.

 

[Brew]

Do you work? Could or should you? Maybe other distant family who could take you in a while?

 

[fenty]

since I was a child it seems my parents loved to sabotage me in infinite ways. They are the sort of parents where they treat me like a doll or pet they just have this certain idea in their head of how I should be and any time I deviate from thtt they fresak out because they realise I;m my own person with opinions. For example, before my parents had even met, they had decided what school I will go to, my GCSES, my A-levels, what university and degree I will do. Anytime I want to make my own education choice they threaten to kick me out.

I applied for uni and got denied for Dentistry but I was offered any stem courses of my choice at ~3 unis. I wanted to accept these offers as it is better to have a few offers of any course than none at all. My dad screamed his fucking head off when I got an interview. Not an offer. An interview. I said I would do the interview anyway (not course he wanted) and he threatened to kick me out. He locked me outside in the rain in February at night. And my Mum or brother didnt do anythign. about it. I didn't get an offer HE wanted so I turned down all my offers and now Im taking a gap year. I wish i didnt listen.

I got AAB in my alevels and was two marks off AAA. I need at least AAA to do dentistry/medicine. I wish I chose my own alevels instead of listening to my paretns and doing Biology, Chemistry and MAths.

So here I am, taking a gap year, with no university offers and shit grades. Retaking takes a whole year. He set me up for sabotage so he can continue abusing me.

To top it off, my Dad just suggeested I choose choose a stem degree then do dentistry. WHICH HE FORCED ME TO WITHDRAW FROM ALL MY OFFERS??? I cant even explain how miserable i FEEL. Its so unfair, Im at risk of being homeless everyday,all the work I did was for nothing. Evert education option takes at least a year, if not two. I can;t stay at home for two years Im miserable. My dad is so abusive. I never realised until recently. I thought because "he doesnt hit my mum that much" it doesnt count. i only have nightmares and for a week straight I have a dream where he tortures me and witha a different instrument every night. while everyone watches. He trips me up, pushes me down the stairs and throws things at me "as a joke". I just wish I listened to my intuition because uni is my onlty way out. I would count down the days until I was 18 so I could get out of this nightmare and Im stuck here and im never going to get out and if i get kicked out i have no one because i dont have any friends because my parents socially isoalted me as well so the abuse can continue.

I dont knwo what to do but I feel I have no choice but to ctb becauseI cant stay home any longer. If i get a 9-5 and spend the rest of the time volunteering it will be ookay but only one year and I dont have any offers. I have 3000 pounds. Hopefully I have enough money to ctb or od on fentanyl or something because i just want to be by myself anf I cant take it anymore and I dont have any advice or support i just feel like i have no other choice.
Sorry this doesn't even make sense. The point is I don't want to kill myself, but I feel I have no choice. If there was any way out I would take it. BUT, if I run away I need to think about my future. I don't have a job or any qualifications and no support system. So I feel that the only way out of my house is through death.

Simplified: I have no qualifications, job or support system so I can't just leave or run away (without being forced to come back/coming back out of desperation) . I don't want to kill myself but I feel the only way out of my household is through death.

This is the first night i've gone to bed early in weeks and they woke me up at midnight, made me strip naked and pray then made me drink a fuckton of milk even though im allergic since i was a child. the first night i went to bed early. i think they do this shit for the love of the game

Do you work? Could or should you? Maybe other distant family who could take you in a while?

All my distant family are in different countries like america or canada and i've been trying to get a job for months but the job market is soooo bad in england.

 

[katara]

My mom did by moving me to an area I hate living in, knowing it would make me miserable.
I understand not having a support system. That's why sometimes I wonder if I'm actually suicidal or not, I just want to be happy. But people are mean and this world is cruel. It's hard to find any help.
I'm sorry ur dad locked u out of the house, sounds like a complicated situation. My mom did that before to me. My mom did that when I tried going out by myself. She's been doing a lot of stuff that made me feel like she wants me to die. I don't know why