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T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
This is a cautionary tale. Do your research!

Bought a tank online, a regulator, hose etc. Made the bag as per instructions. Tried 3 times but SI kicked in each time. Finally got a grasp on controlling the urge to rip the bag off my head and... abject failure.

I did so much wrong it's embarrassing.

Definitely needed a bigger tank. Definitely screwed up the initial process. Definitely have no idea how to correctly use a regulator (or I do, but didn't know I need other parts to make the flow more accurate, and better maths to figure it out)

Nothing describes the crushing, hollow despair you feel when you finally resign yourself to going all the way only to find yourself very much not on the bus when it's all over.

Won't try the exit bag again. No way I can get a bigger tank without major headaches and more money down the drain.

Either SN or CO next. Azide sounds too dodgy and I can't afford a trip to Bolivia on the off chance I might score some gold standard.
 
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requiemforadream

requiemforadream

This little fellow is getting tired
Jan 1, 2025
48
I feel you are brave to share this with us. I feel scared that I would have similar experience and that's holding me back.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
1,531
Do not beat yourself up. Killing yourself is difficult and you picked one of the most technically difficult methods. I tried something with chloroform a year ago and royally fucked it up. Now the mere smell of chloroform makes me nauseated so there goes that. I feel you!
 
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T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
The problem is, I did minimal research first because I just so desperately wanted to be gone asap. Stupid. I now know exactly why it didn't work and physics doesn't care about my stupidity or my pain. It's doubly upsetting as I now know this method, which I was convinced would be my ticket out, isn't feasible for me. The size of the tank I'd need compared with the one I got online, means industrial grade and convincing some seasoned welding supplier that I have an air conditioning business or laboratory and thats before I try to explain why I'm bypassing their strict regulations on transporting gas canisters by shoving the thing in the back of my car. It's laughable or tragic, probably both.
 
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justwannadip

justwannadip

it's still raining
May 27, 2024
292
The problem is, I did minimal research first because I just so desperately wanted to be gone asap. Stupid. I now know exactly why it didn't work and physics doesn't care about my stupidity or my pain. It's doubly upsetting as I now know this method, which I was convinced would be my ticket out, isn't feasible for me. The size of the tank I'd need compared with the one I got online, means industrial grade and convincing some seasoned welding supplier that I have an air conditioning business or laboratory and thats before I try to explain why I'm bypassing their strict regulations on transporting gas canisters by shoving the thing in the back of my car. It's laughable or tragic, probably both.
What size tank did you get? Shouldn't you be able to acquire 40cuft tanks online?
 
NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
This is a cautionary tale. Do your research!

Bought a tank online, a regulator, hose etc. Made the bag as per instructions. Tried 3 times but SI kicked in each time. Finally got a grasp on controlling the urge to rip the bag off my head and... abject failure.

I did so much wrong it's embarrassing.

Definitely needed a bigger tank. Definitely screwed up the initial process. Definitely have no idea how to correctly use a regulator (or I do, but didn't know I need other parts to make the flow more accurate, and better maths to figure it out)

Nothing describes the crushing, hollow despair you feel when you finally resign yourself to going all the way only to find yourself very much not on the bus when it's all over.

Won't try the exit bag again. No way I can get a bigger tank without major headaches and more money down the drain.

Either SN or CO next. Azide sounds too dodgy and I can't afford a trip to Bolivia on the off chance I might score some gold standard.
I'm considering this method my self. Got an N2 tank and regulator + flow meter. Can you share how you constructed the exit bag? Was the N2 not pure enough?
 
T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
I'm considering this method my self. Got an N2 tank and regulator + flow meter. Can you share how you constructed the exit bag? Was the N2 not pure enough?
A painters scuttle liner which is waterproof but don't know if it was airtight. It was all I had and it already had a drawstring.

Mistakes I made: needed more N2, at least 600 litres, but can't get that easily from regular suppliers. I had 2.2 litres (220 litres N2) which ran out too quickly.

I didn't empty the bag of air then fill with N2 before pulling it down over my head so there was too much oxygen inside.

I didn't use elastic around my neck, I drew the drawstring after. You want the elastic to be tight around your neck then raise the bag/stretch the elastic to your forehead, squeeze out all air from the bag, fill with N2 at a rate the bag inflated in no less than 30 seconds, then pull down over head and take deep breaths.

Next time I will tape the tube to the back of my head (which is shaved) so it enters the bag but isn't attached to the bag. Less chance it will dislodge. I will use more gas and I will use a turkey roasting bag so no oxygen gets in.

A solution I'm toying with is several smaller 2.2 tanks, available online, inflating the bag together so the flow of each is low but they all contribute to the steady flow of gas. 2.2 litre tanks = 220 litres each of compressed N2 so would need three tanks for 660 litres, three regulators and three tubes all dispensing at 5 litres per minute instead of 15 for 44 minutes. This is tricky as would need to figure out regulator settings for inflating the bag in 30 seconds with three tanks and I don't understand the bar and psi settings on the regulator so I'd get a fourth test tank, inflate the bag and divide the setting (whatever it is) by 3. That extra 4 minutes should give me time to turn the three valves to the right setting then plenty of gas left to ensure no chance of survival and brain damage.

Big tanks can only be rented from industrial sources that ask too many questions and require too many forms and transportation regulations. Honestly I'm amazed even 2.2 tanks are shipped in the mail as they represent potential missiles if the valves got damaged in transit regardless of the amount of gas inside.

Potential problem: the ones available online at the 2.2 litre size are not pure so contain oxygen. Not sure if this is an issue over 40 minutes but might be.
 
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NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
A painters scuttle liner which is waterproof but don't know if it was airtight. It was all I had and it already had a drawstring.

Mistakes I made: needed more N2, at least 600 litres, but can't get that easily from regular suppliers. I had 2.2 litres (220 litres N2) which ran out too quickly.

I didn't empty the bag of air then fill with N2 before pulling it down over my head so there was too much oxygen inside.

I didn't use elastic around my neck, I drew the drawstring after. You want the elastic to be tight around your neck then raise the bag/stretch the elastic to your forehead, squeeze out all air from the bag, fill with N2 at a rate the bag inflated in no less than 30 seconds, then pull down over head and take deep breaths.

Next time I will tape the tube to the back of my head (which is shaved) so it enters the bag but isn't attached to the bag. Less chance it will dislodge. I will use more gas and I will use a turkey roasting bag so no oxygen gets in.

A solution I'm toying with is several smaller 2.2 tanks, available online, inflating the bag together so the flow of each is low but they all contribute to the steady flow of gas. 2.2 litre tanks = 220 litres each of compressed N2 so would need three tanks for 660 litres, three regulators and three tubes all dispensing at 5 litres per minute instead of 15 for 44 minutes. This is tricky as would need to figure out regulator settings for inflating the bag in 30 seconds with three tanks and I don't understand the bar and psi settings on the regulator so I'd get a fourth test tank, inflate the bag and divide the setting (whatever it is) by 3. That extra 4 minutes should give me time to turn the three valves to the right setting then plenty of gas left to ensure no chance of survival and brain damage.

Big tanks can only be rented from industrial sources that ask too many questions and require too many forms and transportation regulations. Honestly I'm amazed even 2.2 tanks are shipped in the mail as they represent potential missiles if the valves got damaged in transit regardless of the amount of gas inside.

Potential problem: the ones available online at the 2.2 litre size are not pure so contain oxygen. Not sure if this is an issue over 40 minutes but might be.
I've made one out of a vacuum bag used fro storing clothes. Hope that will work. I thought of taping the tube to the bag since the bag is very robust.
Where I live it was no problem to buy a 5 Liter tank. That should be enough for a little testing and attempting.
 
NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
A painters scuttle liner which is waterproof but don't know if it was airtight. It was all I had and it already had a drawstring.

Mistakes I made: needed more N2, at least 600 litres, but can't get that easily from regular suppliers. I had 2.2 litres (220 litres N2) which ran out too quickly.
Did you lose consciousness? Suffer from any damage?
 
T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
Did you lose consciousness? Suffer from any damage?
Yes, I passed out. I have reduced abilities in talking and slur my words. I'm still capable of coherence when I write but when I speak I pause a lot and struggle to find the right words.

I called the Samaritans the next day as I was distressed by the failure and alone in my despair. They noted me slurring and urged me to call 111 for advice, which I did. 111 immediately called an ambulance and I spent 2 days under Obs in hospital and am now under the care of my local MH crisis team, seeing them daily and my doctor regularly. Doc thinks the slurring and such will fade over time as the brain is resilient and relearns and forms new connections. Haven't had an MRI or anything like that.
 
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NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
Yes, I passed out. I have reduced abilities in talking and slur my words. I'm still capable of coherence when I write but when I speak I pause a lot and struggle to find the right words.

I called the Samaritans the next day as I was distressed by the failure and alone in my despair. They noted me slurring and urged me to call 111 for advice, which I did. 111 immediately called an ambulance and I spent 2 days under Obs in hospital and am now under the care of my local MH crisis team, seeing them daily and my doctor regularly. Doc thinks the slurring and such will fade over time as the brain is resilient and relearns and forms new connections. Haven't had an MRI or anything like that.
Sorry for the bad experiance you had. Wish you better luck next time.
If you dont mind me asking, Was SI hard to get over? Was passing out pleasant? I want to attempt within the next few days and wandering how to get trough it. Do you need to secure your self to the seat because of convolutions or it does not cause you sudden movements. Can i do it in a car and fasten my seat belt?
 
SomewhereAlongThe

SomewhereAlongThe

Student
May 17, 2024
194
Sorry for the bad experiance you had. Wish you better luck next time.
If you dont mind me asking, Was SI hard to get over? Was passing out pleasant? I want to attempt within the next few days and wandering how to get trough it. Do you need to secure your self to the seat because of convolutions or it does not cause you sudden movements. Can i do it in a car and fasten my seat belt?
I'm curious about this too
 
parasite_eve

parasite_eve

Between life and death; a secret third thing.
Jan 3, 2025
150
Thank you for sharing and highlighting need for close research and directions - hope you are moving always towards peace and sorry for the bad exp :(
 
T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
Sorry for the bad experiance you had. Wish you better luck next time.
If you dont mind me asking, Was SI hard to get over? Was passing out pleasant? I want to attempt within the next few days and wandering how to get trough it. Do you need to secure your self to the seat because of convolutions or it does not cause you sudden movements. Can i do it in a car and fasten my seat belt?
No convulsions as far as I know. It's like fainting, no discomfort at all. It's as close to N as you can get I imagine.

SI was the hardest. If you're not absolutely desperate you'll back out at some point.
 
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A

*AzRaEl*

Member
Dec 27, 2024
26
Sorry for the bad experiance you had. Wish you better luck next time.
If you dont mind me asking, Was SI hard to get over? Was passing out pleasant? I want to attempt within the next few days and wandering how to get trough it. Do you need to secure your self to the seat because of convolutions or it does not cause you sudden movements. Can i do it in a car and fasten my seat belt?
I have seen (first hand) many people unconscious from hypoxia and a few who CTB. Convulsions do occur but it's not like an epileptic seizure. I would be securing myself to a chair, including arms, because I wouldn't want to leave anything to chance.
 
T

theshund

Student
Jan 1, 2025
107
I have seen (first hand) many people unconscious from hypoxia and a few who CTB. Convulsions do occur but it's not like an epileptic seizure. I would be securing myself to a chair, including arms, because I wouldn't want to leave anything to chance.
Someone else mentioned doing it in the car so a seatbelt would make a decent restraint I suppose.
 
NegevChina

NegevChina

I've done the best I could
Sep 5, 2024
441
I have seen (first hand) many people unconscious from hypoxia and a few who CTB. Convulsions do occur but it's not like an epileptic seizure. I would be securing myself to a chair, including arms, because I wouldn't want to leave anything to chance.
I'm thinking of sitting in the car and placing the Nitrogen tank in the rear behind the seat. The tube will reach the exit bag from behind and that way my hands will have lower chance to reach the tank and the tube.
 
J

Jadeith

Experienced
Jan 14, 2025
264
I got standard body bag to a) avoid creating mess, should my body choose to empty itself upon departure b) limit involuntary limb movement.
 
K

k1w1

Experienced
Feb 16, 2022
279
Is there such variability in buying a large Nitrogen tank in different countries? I simply went online, found a local welding store that sells tanks of the required size, paid cash and put it in the car and drove home. I have heard the above scenario several times here, where a buyer purchases one of those small microbrewing cylinders which are approx 18 inches tall and finds that this is by no means sufficient. Nitrogen has several applications but most frequently welding. It is best to look like you mean business, but passing chat about motorcycle parts fabrication as I handed over the loot was more than sufficient. The regulator was even easier as theyre on the shelf.
 
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N

Notaname

Member
Jul 28, 2024
61
The problem is, I did minimal research first because I just so desperately wanted to be gone asap. Stupid. I now know exactly why it didn't work and physics doesn't care about my stupidity or my pain. It's doubly upsetting as I now know this method, which I was convinced would be my ticket out, isn't feasible for me. The size of the tank I'd need compared with the one I got online, means industrial grade and convincing some seasoned welding supplier that I have an air conditioning business or laboratory and thats before I try to explain why I'm bypassing their strict regulations on transporting gas canisters by shoving the thing in the back of my car. It's laughable or tragic, probably both.
The airgas guy near me just made me sign a liability form to transport my 40 cf tank in my sedan. Didn't question or anything.
 
A

Athina_99

Member
Mar 3, 2025
50
The problem is, I did minimal research first because I just so desperately wanted to be gone asap. Stupid. I now know exactly why it didn't work and physics doesn't care about my stupidity or my pain. It's doubly upsetting as I now know this method, which I was convinced would be my ticket out, isn't feasible for me. The size of the tank I'd need compared with the one I got online, means industrial grade and convincing some seasoned welding supplier that I have an air conditioning business or laboratory and thats before I try to explain why I'm bypassing their strict regulations on transporting gas canisters by shoving the thing in the back of my car. It's laughable or tragic, probably both.
What size did you get..they said 20cubic feet..
 
tpboy

tpboy

No Karma Cafe
Aug 4, 2023
379
i have viewed 15 dead people online after the gas method with a bag. many of their setups were very basic. just a bag with a ton of duct tape. around the neck and hose coming in. no regulator.
 

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