My plan is foiled.

[Unleashtherain]

So, this is my first post but I've been lurking for months. I have treatment resistant schizoaffective disorder, brain damage, nerve damage, diabetes, hydradenitis supporativa, dysphagia, and drug induced parkinsonism. I was voluntarily hospitalized a few months back and they took me off 4mgs of Ativan so now I'm going through hellish withdrawals on top of it, throwing up nonstop. I've tried using a plastic bag to CTB but SI was ridiculous. Thinking about attempting partial again if I can get it right but worry about failure with that. I have access to a Taurus Judge with .410 shells. I thought I could finally make a departure but everything I've read about the gun and that ammo makes it seem like it's only good at taking out small rodents/animals. So I'm out of luck again. Why does life have to be so cruel? I stopped taking my diabetes medication due to side effects and hope that a sugar coma or something finally takes me out. Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read this.

 

[maniac116]

Welcome to the SaSu forum. I'm sorry the date has brought you here.
God that's so much to have to deal with!!
No, a .410 is capable of causing nothing more than pain & more suffering in most cases.
Since you're new here I would suggest reading thru the megathreads. There is a lot of info about various accessable methods that are known to work. Some are relatively painless.
Also read the thread for new members with rules etc.
I sincerely hope that peace finds you & there is no need for you to exit, but I understand your situation.

 

[Unleashtherain]

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I do have a lot of cognitive issues but I've been reading through many of the threads in hopes to find something accessible. Yeah, thankfully, I guess? I checked out ballistic reports for that weapon. Failing doesn't even scare me the fact that I have a marijuana related felony is what is really scary. If I even attempted and failed I'd be looking at prison time. Such a ridiculous world we live in.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Welcome to the site <3 I read everything you wrote and I'm sorry you're in such a situation. The world truly is ridiculous in its obsession to seemingly keep us alive as long as possible. Obviously, prison time is not the move. I echo Maniac in that I would try to take the time to look at the Resources thread and perhaps find something more certain that fits your sensibility and situation. But keep in mind there is also the recovery section <3 But I respect everyone's right to choose. Here if you'd like to chat; I do not consent to be asked for sources for anything, no disrespect meant. Sending hugs.

Again, welcome. People are here for you if you'd like to chat once that feature opens up for you.

 

[CatLvr]

Thank you so much for your kind reply. I do have a lot of cognitive issues but I've been reading through many of the threads in hopes to find something accessible. Yeah, thankfully, I guess? I checked out ballistic reports for that weapon. Failing doesn't even scare me the fact that I have a marijuana related felony is what is really scary. If I even attempted and failed I'd be looking at prison time. Such a ridiculous world we live in.

What??!?!? That's insane that a ctb attempt would get you jail time. Is that just if you used a gun??

 

[Unleashtherain]

Much appreciated. Unfortunately, there's really no recovery possible for me. I thought when I finally started treatment for my issues 4 years ago things would get better but I was terribly wrong. Would definitely be interested in the chat though eventually. The main reason I wanted to join was because of kind individuals like yourself, so thanks again.

What??!?!? That's insane that a ctb attempt would get you jail time. Is that just if you used a gun??

Yep, just a gun. Minimum of 3 years.

 

[CatLvr]

Much appreciated. Unfortunately, there's really no recovery possible for me. I thought when I finally started treatment for my issues 4 years ago things would get better but I was terribly wrong. Would definitely be interested in the chat though eventually. The main reason I wanted to join was because of kind individuals like yourself, so thanks again.

Yep, just a gun. Minimum of 3 years.

That is terrible. Man, what a world we live in, huh??

 

[Unleashtherain]

Right?! To top it off the weed related felony was only 3.5 ounces in the Bible belt.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, it really is so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing. I'll always see so much cruelty in how it's so difficult to be permanently free from this existence, I wish there's the option to just choose to painlessly die in peace and never suffer ever again but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.