I don't know why I've put the [Help] prefix on this thread....I know that I'm the only one that can decide for myself.
But
I still wish there was someone to save me from this life. Someone to help us all.....I don't really think there is anyone.........
I have prayed and cried and died inside over and over and nobody's saved me. I guess I'm on my own.
I've realized that living isn't an option for me. There is no way for me to live. But dying isn't one either. Ctb isn't what I want.
There are so many situations like this. Where every choice is a losing one and I don't know what to do.....I don't want to hurt others and I don't want to lose....
What am I to do?
When every choice ends with suffering.
When I'm blind and the world is pitch black.
When I'm so weak I can't keep people close.
I'm past the point of being sad, or depressed, or angry. I have died over and over inside. I'm a little numb right now. But I know it's not for long....I'll be suffering again soon.
And the worst part is that others have to suffer too and I can't save them. I can't save them. I want to but everything is against me. And that's not even the biggest problem. The problem is that there is no way for me to do it.
I have no hope....
And that is by far the worst pain I've ever felt, out of everything else combined. It's so bad that most of the time I'm unaware of it. I keep it hidden in the back of my mind because it is too unbearably painful. I can't think of it without feeling like my soul is being sucked away....
I don't know what I want from you....maybe not to feel so lonely....But in the end I'll be alone no matter what. I'm really sorry to everyone for failing you.
But
I still wish there was someone to save me from this life. Someone to help us all.....I don't really think there is anyone.........
I have prayed and cried and died inside over and over and nobody's saved me. I guess I'm on my own.
I've realized that living isn't an option for me. There is no way for me to live. But dying isn't one either. Ctb isn't what I want.
There are so many situations like this. Where every choice is a losing one and I don't know what to do.....I don't want to hurt others and I don't want to lose....
What am I to do?
When every choice ends with suffering.
When I'm blind and the world is pitch black.
When I'm so weak I can't keep people close.
I'm past the point of being sad, or depressed, or angry. I have died over and over inside. I'm a little numb right now. But I know it's not for long....I'll be suffering again soon.
And the worst part is that others have to suffer too and I can't save them. I can't save them. I want to but everything is against me. And that's not even the biggest problem. The problem is that there is no way for me to do it.
I have no hope....
And that is by far the worst pain I've ever felt, out of everything else combined. It's so bad that most of the time I'm unaware of it. I keep it hidden in the back of my mind because it is too unbearably painful. I can't think of it without feeling like my soul is being sucked away....
I don't know what I want from you....maybe not to feel so lonely....But in the end I'll be alone no matter what. I'm really sorry to everyone for failing you.
