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My SN arrived... and it’s taking everything I have not to use it tonight.

  • Thread starter DesperateChallenge
  • Start date
DesperateChallenge

DesperateChallenge

Member
Oct 25, 2018
46
My SN just arrived today, and I have the antiemetics needed. It's taking everything I have to not use it tonight.
My therapists son is getting married this weekend and I don't want to ruin what should be a happy time for him and his family by getting a call that I died.
My anxiety has made me an outcast. I have an unemotional relationship with my family. I am a burden and a problem for people who have to deal with my PTSD and all that comes with it. I hate who I am and who I've become over the last four years. Please distract me... send me strength to get through the next few days.
 
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O

OkTotti

Wizard
Nov 6, 2018
616
don't you need to start the antiemetics a couple days beforehand? so maybe this reason will delay your decision?
SN just sound to risky for me... too much risk of a painful death. Imagine the pain being so much that you have to call 911 when you want to CTB.... that would be my worse nightmare
 
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johnny

johnny

Experienced
Dec 5, 2018
255
Sorry, dumb question, what does SN stand for?
 
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Retched

Retched

I see the chaos in your eyes.
Oct 8, 2018
837
Sending you strength! I hope that things work out. I can imagine the waiting is hard.
 
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K

Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
DesperateChallenge said:
My SN just arrived today, and I have the antiemetics needed. It's taking everything I have to not use it tonight.
My therapists son is getting married this weekend and I don't want to ruin what should be a happy time for him and his family by getting a call that I died.
My anxiety has made me an outcast. I have an unemotional relationship with my family. I am a burden and a problem for people who have to deal with my PTSD and all that comes with it. I hate who I am and who I've become over the last four years. Please distract me... send me strength to get through the next few days.
Click to expand...
My SN came today too. Ugh i have Everything to do it but the rate of failure with sn is really high and I'm afraid I'll suffer. Anxiety is the devil. So sorry your going through this. You can do it. We will be here for you anything you need. You will know when it is your time to go if its not yet then stay strong. Im going to probably go with n now due to sn unreliability. Stay strong hugs <3
 
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DesperateChallenge

DesperateChallenge

Member
Oct 25, 2018
46
I think if I combine SN with horse tranquilizer I have I am confident in it working. I have SA too but that makes me nervous because it's dangerous for others and highly explosive.
 
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whywait

whywait

Member
Nov 11, 2018
25
Mine was delivered today too. Just need the roommate to be gone for awhile...
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
Kingkelly said:
My SN came today too. Ugh i have Everything to do it but the rate of failure with sn is really high and I'm afraid I'll suffer. <3
Click to expand...

Sorry to highjack the thread OP and I wish you the safest of journey. You are a kind soul to take into account the feelings of your therapist and his family. I

@Kingkelly , can you kindly advise why you are of the opinion that SN has a high failure rate?
 
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Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
LostGirl said:
Sorry to highjack the thread OP and I wish you the safest of journey. You are a kind soul to take into account the feelings of your therapist and his family. I

@Kingkelly , can you kindly advise why you are of the opinion that SN has a high failure rate?
Click to expand...
From what I read it seems people panic and call for help. Maybe I should do more research before making the opinion but it just seems less guaranteed.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
Kingkelly said:
From what I read it seems people panic and call for help. Maybe I should do more research before making the opinion but it just seems less guaranteed.
Click to expand...

Agreed, I have read up on pretty much what's publicly available on the net re SN and it does seem to be rather unpredictable.
 
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Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
LostGirl said:
Agreed, I have read up on pretty much what's publicly available on the net re SN and it does seem to be rather unpredictable.
Click to expand...
I literally have everything but the scale to weigh it with in my possession but I can't bring myself to attempt it yet. It doesn't seem peaceful and yes I mean im suffering being alive but do I really want to go out turning blue, feeling like I'm dying and in pain? It is a real toss up. I guess if I could guarantee I would pass peacefully I would do it right now but I can't. I just want to take a pill and go to sleep and not wake up so far nothing but n seems like that would be an option
 
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Kingkelly

Mage
Dec 3, 2018
532
DesperateChallenge said:
My SN just arrived today, and I have the antiemetics needed. It's taking everything I have to not use it tonight.
My therapists son is getting married this weekend and I don't want to ruin what should be a happy time for him and his family by getting a call that I died.
My anxiety has made me an outcast. I have an unemotional relationship with my family. I am a burden and a problem for people who have to deal with my PTSD and all that comes with it. I hate who I am and who I've become over the last four years. Please distract me... send me strength to get through the next few days.
Click to expand...
How are you doing? @DesperateChallenge
 
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DesperateChallenge

DesperateChallenge

Member
Oct 25, 2018
46
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