My SN just arrived and I think I regret it

[Abyssal]

I thought the only thing to be afraid of with death was the physical pain of it. Then I felt anxious when ordering the SN and chalked it up to welfare checks. Now that it's here I think I may genuinely be afraid of death. I'm having an attack of some sort no doubt.

My mind is telling me I don't have to take it, that having it is better than not, and a guaranteed way out is available at my choice. There's nothing to be afraid of. I don't fear religious beliefs or death. So why do I feel more dread than I ever have?

Maybe I'm not as ready to die as i thought :(

 

[WitheredHeights]

It's a tricky enigma, facing Death. On one hand, most of us would go more than willingly. But, there is still something that has raged within us far beyond what we could fathom screaming at us to live. When these clash, we have that existential dread. Mainly because we have no idea what happens now if we do die. We simultaneously desire and yet cannot fathom a world where the state of ourselves cease to exist.

 

[Goosechan]

I assume you've never been in the situation of possessing SN before. It's new. Brains tend to react weird to new situations.

My mind is telling me I don't have to take it, that having it is better than not, and a guaranteed way out is available at my choice

I think you're right here. It's likely that the anxious reaction to having SN will lessen a bit with time. You can see how you feel about everything with a clearer mind.
Take care for now

 

[Wendigo]

Happened the same to me when the helium tank arrived, I ended up using it, needless to say ,I failed.

 

[RoadToGehenna]

Id probably feel the same

 

[divinemistress36]

I bought SN and dont have the courage to use it yet. Its ok to have it just in case

 

[coffeebeany]

I ve also ordered weeks ago and had it delivered with no issues. Now it has been stored in my room for some time and I ve become more afraid of using it. I also read across several SN threads in this forum and that didn't ease my anxiousness at all. There is very clear information but every now and then you will find comments that cast doubt. Then I am so afraid it won't work or I will end up with all the side effects. Finding the courage is so hard.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

It's the stupid SI. Happens to the best of us. It's okay to just store it until you feel ready.

 

[AbyssalAlien]

Well of course everyone is going to agree that you shouldnt do it. Lol we are held at gunpoint to do that.

But there is always tomorrow. And the day after. The high will come down. You will feel the lows again. Talk or feel yourself out of it. And the cycle repeats.

Give that SI to someone who already has their mind made up. You arent there yet.

 

[lostovertime]

Maybe you aren't as ready as you thought you were. That's ok! Maybe try to find peace in another way for now What do you like to do?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Well of course everyone is going to agree that you shouldnt do it. Lol we are held at gunpoint to do that.

But there is always tomorrow. And the day after. The high will come down. You will feel the lows again. Talk or feel yourself out of it. And the cycle repeats.

Give that SI to someone who already has their mind made up. You arent there yet.

keep in mind this person has been banned for multiple things. sending hugs OP

 

[We Are Angels]

If you dont want it I can take it off your hands

 

[Abyssal]

If you dont want it I can take it off your hands

lol I get the sentiment but I don't wanna be linked to your death and only get your SN from trusted sources!!! Stay safe friend

keep in mind this person has been banned for multiple things. sending hugs OP

I get where they are coming from, but their words aren't impacting my decisions. Nobody here has the power to do that and I message for the sake of shouting into the void.

That aside, thanks for making sure people are aware of these things when at their lowest, keeps this forum safe <3

 

[skatergirl]

I ve also ordered weeks ago and had it delivered with no issues. Now it has been stored in my room for some time and I ve become more afraid of using it. I also read across several SN threads in this forum and that didn't ease my anxiousness at all. There is very clear information but every now and then you will find comments that cast doubt. Then I am so afraid it won't work or I will end up with all the side effects. Finding the courage is so hard.

I'm in the same boat x do u have the other medications

 

[AZ1]

i feel that, i think the loss of control is especially difficult to contend with when one is trying to take their own life... at least for me it is
I know for a fact if I simply ceased to exist instantly right now, or if I knew I would in a certain amount of time, I wouldn't be concerned about it.
but, since that's not how things work and I don't have access to an instant method, once you do whatever it is you've chosen to do, you're just there for the ride and that can be really scary especially when you know the outcome

 

[Guiltybyproxy]

Can someone direct me on this forum on what to get? I just want to go painlessly and be knocked out. I also wonder what an overdose would feel like since I have a prescription for xanax and Robaxin. Anyone know what an overdose feels like?