My story

[Winniethepooh]

So my childhood up to 15 was fairly good. But At 15, I was raped for the first time by my father. It lead to me starting to masturbate compulsively in an effort to regain power over my body.

I masturbated several times a week and I'm not the type to masturbate. I told my parents I wasn't well, even though this wasn't true.

At the same time, I struggled with severe acne. I felt gross.

My dream was to be an exchange student abroad, but my parents would only let me go if I went to China. I wanted to go to Iceland. My exchange year never happened, something I continue to mourn up to this day.

After high school I tried to run away to Asia twice but came back both times.

At 22, I had laser skin treatment in an effort to get rid of my acne. It worked but left my skin dry and aged which upset me. It shouldn't have, it's better than being gross and having greasy skin.

At 24, I checked myself into a psychiatric ward.

I ended up peeing and shitting on a stairwell. It was when I was sent home from the hospital and no one was home. I was confused and it was late in the evening, so I stayed on the stairwell the whole night.

I never told anyone about my accident, it having happened on a ledge-thing with no doors. I feel so sorry for the person who had to clean it up.

My parents handed me over to the authorities and they gave me an apartment in a suburb where I've lived for the past three years. Psychiatry is a major cause of my anxiety. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia which I don't contest but I hate them. They don't listen and they don't seem to know what they're doing.

Honestly, I think they've picked up on me being gay and are being homophobic.

Oh well... what do you think?

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I understand what it's like to keep a secret, especially when no one else would believe.
I hope you somewhat like your apartment. If they are homophobic then fuck them, you deserve better.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Was definitely not expecting that second sentence. That's awful.

 

[End Piece]

I'm so sorry you've had such a rough go. May I ask why you feel like the mental health professionals don't know what they're doing? What kind of support do you feel you need?

 

[angele]

I'm sorry for all you've went through. You've come to the right place though, no one here will judge you for your past and what's been done to you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us

 

[SawItOnce]

I'm sorry for all you've went through. You've come to the right place though, no one here will judge you for your past and what's been done to you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us

Some people will lash out and undermine others occasionally (very rare here hands down), but we have to remember that even if that happens, it's because they're trapped in their own despair or anger and to not take it as defining where we are.