My suicide note

[FireFox]

Dear family

I am so sorry I ended my life. For many years I have had these intrusive thoughts making me believe I am not good enough to be here in this world and constantly imagining worst case scenarios in everyday life situations. I really wanted to be happy and normal but did not know how to be. My mind makes me believe everyone will be better off without me.

I have tried so hard to tell myself none of these thoughts are real but over time the urge to leave my mind and body got stronger and stronger. Now I can no longer fight it anymore.

To my little sister I am sorry you will have to grow up without a big sister and I am sorry for the rest of your life you will have to deal with our gossiping relatives laughing about how I was always crazy. If you don't know ask grandmother to explain how my favourite auntie ( insert name of relative) gossiped to everyone in the family that I was crazy and revealed our private conversations and found my problems her entertainment. I really wanted so see you grow up

To my mum and grandmother I am sorry. Suicidal thoughts is like living with the devil within. Don't blame yourselves depression, anxiety and anoxeria Distorts how a person sees themselves and the world around them. What I see you don't see. Growing up I always known as the weird crazy person which relatives laughed at and the kids at school builled. I don't belong here in this world. I

TO my boyfriend thank you for all the fun memories and loving me. I am sorry this illness robbed me from being the girlfriend you deserved. I really wanted to be normal but didn't know how to be. I love you so much.

 

[WonderWhatsOutThere]

That's sweet and honest. I'm glad you have a boyfriend who didn't leave you over this. When I started getting really suicidal my girlfriend left me saying "It's not because you're depressed, it's because of how you handle it" which I can't blame her for leaving since suicidal people tend to take a toll on those around them, but it still really hurt. But I'm glad you're able to feel the love of a romantic partner before you go

I hope you find peace

 

[FireFox]

That's sweet and honest. I'm glad you have a boyfriend who didn't leave you over this. When I started getting really suicidal my girlfriend left me saying "It's not because you're depressed, it's because of how you handle it" which I can't blame her for leaving since suicidal people tend to take a toll on those around them, but it still really hurt. But I'm glad you're able to feel the love of a romantic partner before you go

I hope you find peace

@WonderWhatsOutThere My boyfriend doesn't know I am suicidal nobody in my life knows. All I know is I want out from this world. I just want to sleep and never wake up
Everything is going to stop when I kill myself. No more panic attacks, no more severe depression episodes. No more anoxeria.
Everything is going to stop when I kill myself. No more panic attacks, no more severe depression episodes. No more anoxeria.

 

[FireFox]

Everything in my life is a mess. I am going to fail my masters degree and not graduate, the law career I dreamed of is over, I am unemployed and my mental health deteriorated rapidly.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Everything in my life is a mess. I am going to fail my masters degree and not graduate, the law career I dreamed of is over, I am unemployed and my mental health deteriorated rapidly.

I'm so happy that you have a boyfriend.

Have you considered Dialectical Behavioral Therapy groups?

Are you absolutely certain you're going to fail? What are you basing this on? I remember how you weren't sure you could afford things and thought you would never find a boyfriend. Perhaps DBT would be a great help to you?

I hope this changes Firefox. I want you to be one of the people from this site who somehow gets better and finds a way to become happy.

 

[FireFox]

I'm so happy that you have a boyfriend.

Have you considered Dialectical Behavioral Therapy groups?

Are you absolutely certain you're going to fail? What are you basing this on? I remember how you weren't sure you could afford things and thought you would never find a boyfriend. Perhaps DBT would be a great help to you?

I hope this changes Firefox. I want you to be one of the people from this site who somehow gets better and finds a way to become happy.

@claracatchingthebus my final assignments went poorly. I declared my ciation mistakes in one of my resit assignments to my professor and I think the university are going to investigate me for plagiarism. I am scared I am going to get email saying I committed academic misconduct for declaring my referencing mistakes. I am terrified

I can't see myself graduating. Everyday I have nightmares that I have been called to plagiarism investigation or i have failed my resit. I need to pass this resit to graduate.
The one relative I trusted and looked up to was gossiping about me and laughing at how crazy I was to the family. My former favourite auntie who is a qualified nurse was telling the relatives that I was crazy and sharing our private conversations. She is an EVIL BITCH

Evil BITCH sorry for my language but it hurts what she put me through. She was someone i trusted and wished my mum was like her. I liked talking to her because my mum always gives me a hard time for everything this auntie was approachable and so friendly,

when I was young I was seen as the freak of the family by my relatives. I can't tell people the real reason why I hate family gatherings with extended family members is because of this EVIL BITCH along with the POS relatives who laughed along.
The one relative I trusted and looked up to was gossiping about me and laughing at how crazy I was to the family. My former favourite auntie who is a qualified nurse was telling the relatives that I was crazy and sharing our private conversations.

Evil BITCH sorry for my language but it hurts what she put me through. She was someone i trusted and wished my mum was like her. I liked talking to her because my mum always gives me a hard time for everything this auntie was approachable and so friendly,

when I was young I was seen as the freak of the family by my relatives. I can't tell people the real reason why I hate family gatherings with extended family members is because of this EVIL BITCH along with the POS relatives who laughed along.