RosebyAnyName
Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
- Nov 9, 2023
- 235
I fear for my future. I'm only in my mid twenties and honestly the only thing keeping me alive right now is the potential for life to improve as I age and settle, but my experiences so far are that life gets worse as you age. Every time I wanted to finally start that hobby or foster new relationships or quit my addictions, or really get to anything I've been putting off, I fail. And the worst part is that I don't just fail, I feel as if success becomes more and more difficult to obtain as time goes on. My brain becomes less flexible and less capable of improvement. I become worse at learning, worse at quitting my addictions, worse at socializing, and it never gets back to the way it was before. It like I've already railroaded my life into one way and I hate it, and now I can't change it. I feel like the time where I actually could have made changes to my life are going away and now it's too late, or it's so much more difficult than it used to be and I don't have the energy anymore. And that's not even mentioning failing health, chronic pain, and physical limitations that come with age. It's no wonder the highest number of suicides generally happen with older populations.